Social Question

Itsaboutme's avatar

Have you or would you meet someone that you meet via text?

Asked by Itsaboutme (399points) March 7th, 2011 from iPhone

Six months ago I sent a text to a friend. Or so I thought I did. A few days later I received what I thought was a random text, but it was from the person I accidentally texted.

Through the course of the last six months we have text or chatted online maybe one or two times every couple of weeks. In the last month it’s changed to almost every day.

We talk about different random things and we do have a bit in common.

Lately he has hinted about wanting to meet. I’ll be honest and say that I’m nervous about meeting face to face. For a variety of reasons, but one of the main ones is safety.

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20 Answers

blueiiznh's avatar

Have you spoken on the phone?
You really don’t know much about him other than what he has presented.
Take things carefully.

glenjamin's avatar

I wouldn’t trust it. You really know nothing about a person just from texting

Itsaboutme's avatar

@blueiiznh, no we have never talked on the phone. For one reason or another it doesn’t seem to be a good time. Not just for him but for me too. Normally it would just be a few texts back and forth then nothing for a week or so.

In the last month the frequency of texts has increased. Also the amounts of im’s have increased. Nothing to make my senses scream stalker but enough to notice an increase of interest. Then add to that he has mentioned a few times us meeting face to face.

Itsaboutme's avatar

@glenjamin that is very true.

marinelife's avatar

If you do meet, I would met in a public place in the middle of the day (like a food court at a mall).

You cannot know anyone from texting. Try talking on the phone for a while to see if you really click.

Scooby's avatar

I’ve had plenty of blind dates, arranged through mutual friends & their texting, always in public places with the mutual friend / friends present…… if you decide to meet up, take a friend along, or two or have him come to a place where you know your friends won’t be too far away, just in case you might need them for backup, like a bail out excuse! :-/
Better to be safe…….

wundayatta's avatar

If you feel like you know the person, then I wouldn’t have any problem meeting them. The problem is knowing if you know someone, and that generally takes years of experience. It has to do with what they tell you and whether the details hang together. It also helps if you get pictures and phone or even video chat.

I think women get more worried about it than men, but men worry, too. To me, it’s always been a hoot when someone worries about me, but then, I know what’s in my head, and others don’t. Anyway, so far, I have always been right in that the story I was being told was a true story. I wasn’t always right about the personalities of the people I met. But that is harder to tell. People don’t always tell you the relevant details, nor do you always interpret them correctly, because you often see what you want to see. I made that mistake once, and it was very painful.

Itsaboutme's avatar

@marinelife and @Scooby, I agree completely. That is one of my plans if I decide to go through with it and meet him. Though I am very on the fence about it.

JmacOroni's avatar

I don’t see how it is any different than meeting someone you’ve met online. I agree with @marinelife, you should meet in a public place, where there will be other people around. If you even want to meet him, of course.

Itsaboutme's avatar

@wundayatta that is one of my concerns. My track record of being able to read someone is dodgie at best lately.

I think the video chat is a good idea. I’m pretty sure I have a webcam on my laptop. I am leary though of sending my picture. To much can be done to a picture and I need to make sure I protect myself especially if I decide to not meet him. Ok that kinda sounded paranoid lol.

blueiiznh's avatar

@Itsaboutme Red flags on the ”....Normally it would just be a few texts back and forth then nothing for a week or so.”

In my opinion this person is emotionally and physically unavailable. I would certainly speak on the phone before meeting.

Itsaboutme's avatar

@JmacOroni that is true too, I never thought about it like that.

wundayatta's avatar

@Itsaboutme If you don’t trust your ability to read someone, I don’t think you are ready to meet them. My standard is that I have to be at a point where I can go over everything I’ve been told and it all hangs together, and there are no holes or evasions, and it also feels right.

Then I agree, if you think it is safe, but are worried about it still… no, this is a hard and fast rule. Never meet for the first time in anything other than a public place. If after a few hours, the person feels genuine, then you might move to a less public place.

Also, as far as I know, gmail video chat can’t be recorded. If it can be, someone please let me know. And I’m not sure what you’re afraid of in terms of photoshopping. I’m sure you have pictures out there somewhere that could suffer that fate. I’ve decided that it is better to trust than to suspect. There is much to gain—a lot more than a mistake will lose you—at least, that’s the case for me.

YARNLADY's avatar

I had a meet-up with people I met online several times. It was never for a personal relationship, just to get to know my online “friend”. It has always been in a restaurant, and always worked out. I always take my husband along.

There have been many reports on Fluther of Jellies getting together. It can be great fun.

blueiiznh's avatar

In the words of my father:

Be Safe, Have Fun, Wear a Condom!

Itsaboutme's avatar

@wundayatta great answer and much for me to think about. I can honestly say that I’m not at a point were I can trust my gut so I think I will wait awhile longer. Like I said the increase in chatting is only recent. If he really is interested in meeting then a few more months won’t hurt.

@YARNLADY right now that is how I am looking at it and online friend. I definitely plan on meeting somewhere very public and with a good friend in tow.

@blueiiznh very good advice and thanks for the giggle.

perspicacious's avatar

How old are you?

perspicacious's avatar

@Itsaboutme I thought if you were a kid, the recommendation would be no and to tell mom you need a new phone number. But, since you are an adult, I’ll just say meet him in a safe place. Arrive very early so he will not know your car or from which direction you came. Also, be sure others know you are meeting him and where/when. This kind of thing is kind of scary to me. I actually met my fella on another QnA site but we knew each other as friends and talked on the phone for a very long time before we met in person. Be careful.

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