Want to play the "If celebrity x were y, then he/she would be z" game, part 2?
It sounds way more complicated than it really is.
Here’s an example.
So, if (celebrity) Tom Hanks (x) was a piece of wood (y), he would be Tom Planks (y).
Get it? You can use any celeb that you want!
Catch: the names have to rhyme!
Oh, and the person who posts has to finish with a name and the person below them makes up a post about the celebrity.
I’ll start with one: If Tom Cruise was beat up by a gang, then he’d be Tom Bruise.
(Bill Clinton.)
And then the next person would say, “If Bill Clinton smoked marijuana, he’d be Chill Clinton.”
this is because @queenie requested this thread again, and because the other one kind of died after 300 some replies.
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If Prince Harry were a monster, he’d be Prince Scary.
John Cleese.
If John Cleese were a dairy product, he’d be John Cheese.
Harrison Ford.
If Harrison Ford was a car company, he’d still be Harrison Ford.
Michael Moore.
If Michael Moore turned tricks, he’d be Michael Whore.
If @Brian1946 bought an ice cream, he’d be Brian40licks
Toby Mcguire
If he were really hot, he’d be Toby McFire.
Jeri Ryan.
If Jerri Ryan were really a Borg named 7 of 9, she’d leave 9 of 10 men swoonin’ and cryin’.
Alan Rickman.
If Alan Rickman got ill, he’d be Alan Sickman
Kevin Costner
If Kevin Costner was bought by a store chain, he’d have to change his name to Kevin Costco.
Jason Alexander.
If Jason Alexander got kicked down some stairs and broke his leg, he’d be known as Jason Goosygoosygander
Sean Connery
If Sean Connery did more with the Bond girls than is rumored, he’d be known as Sean Gonorrhea. (I know, it’s a stretch).
Martin Luther King
I MLK started the Police instead of Gordon Sumner, then he’d be Martin Luther Sting.
Johnny Depp.
I @Brian1946 were ill he would be @Brian194sick
Jennifer Garner
If Jennifer Garner was a farmer, she’d be known as Jennifer Barner
Denzel Washington
If Denzel Washington married the brother of Emilio Estevez, he’d become Denzel WaSHEENton.
Jaleel White
If Jaleel White got Knighted by the Queen, he’d be Jaleel Knight
Willem Dafoe
If Willem Dafoe turned tricks with Michael Moore, he’d be Willem da ho.
Susan Sarandon.
If Susan Sarandon dumped her partner, se’d be known as Susan Abandon.
Harrison Ford
If Harrison Ford watched American Idol, he’d become Harrison Bored.
Boris Karloff.
If Boris Karloff’s DNA were dug up and mixed with that of the Lorisidae, he would be
Loris Karloff.
That would be some serious Frankenstein shit.
Lady Gaga
If Lady Gaga was an epic story, she’d be Lady Saga.
If Ms. Seelix were half of an odd couple, then she’d be Ms. Felix.
Abraham Lincoln
If Honest Abe Lincoln was a gesture, he’d beckon, I reckon…
Tim Robbins
If Tim Robbins was very sad, he’d be Tim Sobbin’s
Fran Drescher
If Fran Drescher was a maid to a rich woman she would be Fran Dresser.
Wesley Snipes
If Wesley Snipes were a plumber, he’d be Wesley Pipes.
Babe Ruth
If Babe Ruth were a dentist, he’d be Babe Tooth OR
If Babe Ruth were a fortune teller, he’d be Babe Sooth OR
If Babe Ruth were a presidential assassin, he’d be Babe Booth OR
If Babe Ruth had great manners, he’d be Babe Couth er
Ben Stiller
overachiever! lol!
If Ben Stiller were a murderer, he’d be Ben Killer.
If Ben Stiller were a dentist, he’d be Ben Driller OR Ben Filler.
Reba McIntyre (sp?)
If Reba McIntyre (sp?) were to burn twice, she’d be Reba BackonFire
Walt Whitman
If Walt Whitman kept hitting the net while playing tennis, he’d be Fault Whitman.
Edgar Allan Poe
If Edgar Allan Poe sold his body for laughs, he’d be Edgar Allen Hoho Ho
Leonard Nimoy.
If Leonard Nimoy wore camo paint, he’d be Leonard Decoy . . .
[Since we were having a typing war: If Edgar Allen Poe were to experience tumescence, he’d be Edgar Allen Grow!]
Emma Thompson
If Emma Thompson was an elephant who was angry at her male kid, she’d be Emma Stomps-Son.
Vinnie Price.
If Vinnie Price was a hotdog, he’d? be Weinie Price.
Leonardo DiCaprio
If Leonardo faced the death penalty, he’d be Leonardo Decapitate.
Jennifer Lopez
If Jennifer Lopez was kinky, she’d be Jennifer Sanchez.
Don’t look away from @chocolatechip…I think they may be one of those weeping angels from Doctor Who…Nobody blink!
If Barbra Streisand lived on the great plains, she’d be Barbra Bison. (This activity certainly offers clues to how we each pronounce different words because Streisand and Bison totally rhyme when I say them!)
John Lennon
If John Lennon were in a deodorant ad, he’d be John Mennen.
Bruce Willis
If Bruce Willis were an asexual, spore-forming mold, he’d be Bruce Aspergillis.
And, in honor of the Royal Wedding:
William Wales
Since the Royals are so good at slinging the bull William Wales is William Sales
If Hunphrey Bogart ate too many beans he would be Humphrey Go Fart, and if he was a naturalist he would be Humphrey Yogurt.
Roman Polański
If Roman Polanski wrote like a Polish Nicholas Sparks, he’d be Poland Romanski . . .
Nicholas Sparks
If Nicholas Sparks was a Black person who refused to give up his seat on a bus to a White person, he’d be known as Nicholas Parks.
Rosa Parks
If Rosa Parks worked for the DEA, she’d be Rosa Narcs.
James Taylor
If James Taylor married Norman Mailer, he’d be James Taylor-Mailer.
Colin Clive.
If Colin Clive were a Dutch beekeeper, he would be Holland Hive (keeping the alliteration).
Sonny Bono
If Sonny Bono tripped while holding a platter of alcoholic beverages, and spilled it on his favorite waitress, “Sunny” he would yell,“Sunny! Oh No!”
Cher
Cher topless would be “Pair”
Dr. Seuss.
If Dr. Suess were a woman, he’d be Mother Goose.
John Belushi
If John Belushi kept a pile of leaky pens on his bed, he’d be John Bluesheets.
Cary Grant.
If Cary Grant had a defeatist attitude all of the time, he’d be Cary Can’t.
Fred Astaire
If Fred Astaire got a sex and species change, he’d be Fred The Mare.
Dick Van Dyke.
If Dick Van Dyke rides a cycle all the time, he’d be Dick Van Bike.
Julie Andrews
If Julie Andrews became an alcoholic, she’d be Julie Anbooze.
Daniel Craig
If Daniel Craig was never specific, he’d be Daniel Vague.
Thomas Jefferson
If Thomas Jefferson took up shooting as a hobby, he’d be known as Thomas Jeffergun.
Tom Hardy
If Tom Hardy was consistently late, he’d be Tom Tardy.
Hayley Kiyoko
If Hayley Kiyoko wore a Japanese robe, she’d be Hayley Minoko.
Prince Harry
If Prince Harry were four inches tall and lived in a garden, he’d be Prince Fairy.
Lynda Carter
If Lynda Carter were getting married, she’d be Lynda Garter . . .
Hugh Laurie
If Hugh Laurie was a fast, sexy car, he’d be a Ferrari….
Robert Sean Leonard
If Robert Sean Leonard had had a dance-pop single released in October 1999, he’d be Robert Shake-Your-Bon-Bon Leonard.
Hank Williams
If Hank Williams drove a tracked, armoured fighting vehicle designed for front-line combat which combines operational mobility, tactical offensive, and defensive capabilities, he’d be called Tank Williams.
Casey Abrams
If Casey Abrams were a doily, he’d be Lacey Abrams.
Sammy Sosa
If Sammy Sosa liked to play game shows, he’d be called Whammy Sosa.
Mark McGuire
If Mark McGuire were worse than his bite, he’d be Bark McGuire.
Eddie Murray
If Eddie Murray was celebrating, he’d be called Eddie Hooray.
Dwayne Johnson
If Dwayne Johnson was a plumber, he’d be Drain Johnson.
Rick Dempsey
If Rick Dempsey was a complete jerk off, he’d be called Dick Dempsey.
Dirk Diggler
If Dirk Diggler were an MAC computer, he’d be Kirk Diggler.
Jean Luc Picard
If Jean Luc Picard liked using his tongue during foreplay, he’d be called Jean Luc Lickhard.
Tim Burton
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