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JLeslie's avatar

Do you feel more stressed or less stressed when you bury your head in the sand?

Asked by JLeslie (56898points) April 27th, 2011

I’m really pissed about something that happened recently (you might have seen my Q about a healthcare billing problem) and thinking about writing a bunch of letters to try and rectify the situation. I also have some stress in my family right now, and am disagreeing with some relatives on how to handle things, but for the last week have let them do whatever they want and stifled.

In some ways ignoring the chaos, and basically being run over by other people is much easier. It takes a piece of my soul in a way, but so fighting against the tide probably shortens my life.

What do you usually do in these situations? Just go along? Accept there are injustices? Push it all to the back of your mind? Or, do you fight and stand up for what you feel is right?

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15 Answers

marinelife's avatar

It totally depends on the circumstances. Right now I am fighting with a service provider (and have been for more than a week). I step away from the battle when it gets to be too much, When I have recharged I get back into the fray.

gailcalled's avatar

After many years of therapy, I now have a useful file of techniques to draw on for mature confrontation. I will no longer put up with bullies, either in my family or in the public sector. I sleep on things, recheck my thinking and decision and then deal.

There are ways of dealing that no longer destroy my central nervous system, but passivity is not an option any more.

Mariah's avatar

More stressed, usually. I can’t stand to just sit back and watch things go badly. Past a certain point, sometimes I need to force myself not to care – some things take too much energy, energy that I need more urgently for other purposes.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

It depends.Choose your battles,you know?
If it is truly something important,hiding my head in the sand would cause more headaches.
I like to take care of my problems as they present themselves.
I’m much happier that way.:)

bkcunningham's avatar

I was taught to standup for myself when I am in the right. Because of my dad, I’ve always written down the names and times of anyone I talk to on the telephone trying to resolve issues. When looking for solutions, I go to the top or at least as far as I am able.

I’m sorry to hear you are having stress @JLeslie. Family stuff is different. I usually backoff on those issues and then feel stressed at the pent up emotions. Just the other day, I had an issue with a contractor who is suppose to be installing new windows. My husband took the phone and handled it in like two seconds (long story).

He laughed and said I should call back and apologize to the poor girl. I was taking out frustration at his sister whose been “vacationing” with us for 15 days with her twin 14 year olds. He was right. lol

They’re gone as of last night. Cheers!

Cruiser's avatar

I count to 10 a lot and do ignore a LOT of BS that happens around me seemingly non-stop. If I didn’t I would be locked away in a padded room.

Pandora's avatar

More stressed because its not like you can make your mind stop working. However, every situation can not simply be resolved by confrontation. Some require time to resolve itself or at least time to develop a solution when your more clear headed. If confrontation is the only solution than go for it. If time is something that is needed in the situation than all you can do is sit and wait.
I always take as, burying your head in the sand means that their may be some solutions but you refuse to take the route necessary because it may make the person feel more uncomfortable. Doing this will not make the problem disappear. It will only reinforce the problem and create more tension.
Of course some people also take a problem as being theirs when it isn’t theirs to shoulder.
As an example. Spouse cheating on you. Your problem.
Friends spouse cheating on your friend. Not your problem. Most of the time people tell their friends they end up just losing a friend because the friend will rather believe the spouse than the friend.

LukeFonFabre's avatar

I’m so stressful when I’m working on my college finance. My mom saw me freaking out, and decide to take me to park for a walk. After this, I felt so great and refresh.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

I feel more stressed when I bury my head in the sand – after all, my ass is exposed (figuratively) and I can not look around and understand what is going on around me (both figuratively and literally).

OpryLeigh's avatar

Sometimes if a situation is bothering me I will distance myself from it for a short while and usually it calms me down. I very rarely bury my head completely in the sand, just enough to get some perspective on the situation.

everephebe's avatar

With my head in the sand I feel less stressed usually for a longer time, until I have to deal with something. When I finally deal with something it’s as at least as stressful as before when I first stuck my head in the sand.

So over all you may feel less stressed for a while with your head under the sand, but you have to deal with it in the end. If you deal with it first however, there will be less total stress.

I do at times bury my head in the sand, to deal with things later, even though I know it’s less trouble just to get it done. With situations I can’t change, I try to keep my head down, but sometimes you can’t help fighting against the injustice of it all.

Sometimes you just have to put on your shit-kicking boots and go to town.

bkcunningham's avatar

I guess – bury my head in the sand – is the wrong picture to paint of what I feel. I sit back with family thinking, “I’ve been flippin’ good to you and you are _________ (fill in the blank) me.

This week it has been, (sorry for the personal reflection, but it is therapeaudic): I took you and your two children to Disney, bought T-shirts, cook Easter dinner, took your son fishing a ka-zillion times, got your daughter a mani-pedi, hauled your sorry ass around on a golf cart and heard you complain about how much the church isn’t doing for you and what you do instead of paying your own sorry way… sorry. I got side tracked. Bartender.

wundayatta's avatar

It’s hard to know how to answer this question, since I’m not sure I’ve ever buried my head in the sand. When I get hit with a phalanx of problems, I just deal with them as best I can. Some will get fixed and others not. I do the best I can, and I resign myself to what will happen if I can’t work on something. I’ll survive. That’s all I need to get to work on the next thing.

bkcunningham's avatar

@wundayatta my next steps. Peace.

dabbler's avatar

@JLeslie you have a bead on something important, it is vital to be able to relax on a regular basis – no matter what’s going on. You just have to be able to park it.
That’s different from putting your head in the sand though, when you do that as aptly noted above you can so easily get bit in the ass.

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