Social Question

keobooks's avatar

Am I just a grouchy curmudgeon about "bossy" facebook statuses?

Asked by keobooks (14293points) May 16th, 2011

** EDITED TO ADD: No, I’m not talking about my AV/Fluther friends.. so if you think it’s you, it’s not.

I have lots of friends who occasionally do the “copy and paste such and so into your status ..” posts. I think I’ve done a few now and then. But for some reason, one of my friends really irks me when she does this. She constantly posts these statuses and then she’ll add a comment like “I’ll be watching to see who has actually done this. It will be interesting to see who is really a true friend of mine.”

For some reason, her bossy FB status posts are getting to me. And over time, all of these bossy FB status posts are getting to me. I don’t want to threaten to drop friends if they keep posting “post this as your status”—because that will make me just as bossy AND I don’t want to make people who just do it now and then to feel bad.

It’s actually just this one person who kind of gets to me. I don’t want to de-friend her over this (she might start asking me IRL what’s going on and why do I hate her.. bla bla bla) but I’m really getting sick of seeing “cut and paste this if you think killing puppies is bad” “cut and paste this if you really love your mom and don’t want her to get cancer and die” or whatever.

She seems a bit sensitive and I fear telling her how I feel about her bossy posts will cause her to get all defensive. Who knows? She might start posting “cut and past this into your status if you don’t think I’m totally annoying. I’ll be watching you!”

Am I the only one who gets crazy with these statuses? I need to learn to ignore them but for some reason, they get to me.

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29 Answers

lillycoyote's avatar

I just ignore that shit.

ninjacolin's avatar

“Cut and paste this as your FB status if you think cutting and pasting messages is irritating”

Blackberry's avatar

Just cut your losses and ditch that “friend”. And by friend, I mean annoying human with a case of extremely low self esteem. People like that will bring you down. You’re just letting them control you (in the most trivial way possible).

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

Maybe send her a PM saying that you get kinda bummed out every time you see an update from her, thinking you’re going to find out something about your friend, and it’s not. Point out that the reason you’re friends with her on there is so you can learn about each other and communicate, not so you can find out that she’s not one of the 5 people on the face of the planet that eats puppies for breakfast.

meiosis's avatar

Just ignore the messages. If she then gets arsey about you not cutting and pasting as she dictates, that’s the time to tell her how you feel. Until then, there’s no real problem is there? Aside from you mentally marking her down a notch or two, but she probably does that to you for not cutting and pasting, so all’s square.

augustlan's avatar

Oh these annoy me, too. I saw one from a relative that was all about loving Jesus. It ended with something like “People post curse words in their statuses all the time. Let’s see how many are brave enough to post this.” I replied, “Well now I just feel bad. I’m not Christian, and I cuss like a sailor.” I hope it gave her something to think about.

I did break my personal rule about reposting that stuff recently though. A hilarious one came through, and I couldn’t help myself! It was that one about all the things “real ladies” do and are. It ended “Repost this if you, too, suspect that you are a man.”

Plucky's avatar

Most of those annoy me. There are some funny ones that I couldn’t help reposting. The ones I find the most annoying are the religious and political ones. Most of my Facebook people don’t do that (usually my younger family members are the culprits – I have a lot of young cousins). I haven’t seen many “bossy” ones. I remember a relgious one similar to @augustlan‘s example though.

If these posts bug you mainly because of who is posting ..maybe you should not be friends with them.

jca's avatar

I ignore them all. If she tells you that you’re not a friend for that then she is trivial and trifling and does not deserve the time of day from you. If she asks, just tell her not to be insulted but that you don’t have time for such nonsense.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Beat the hell out of her! XD
Or maybe just ignore those things.If she asks,tell her you think those requests are irritating:)

ucme's avatar

Ahh, the genius playground that is facebook XD

Hi, my name is Keith
I like polythene bags
Sucking windows
Sheep
I sometimes eat my bogies after picking my nose!
All said in a monotone voice with added neanderthal laughter.

Yeah, those are the ones I find amusing/annoying ;¬}

Seaofclouds's avatar

Block her wall posts from showing up on your main page. She won’t know that you did it. Then, if you want to see what’s going on with her, you just go to her page, it’ll all be there for you to see. If she asks you about something particular she has posted, just say you must have missed it and you’ll go look for it (if you want to).

marinelife's avatar

@Seaofclouds How does one do that?

keobooks's avatar

Thanks for the replies. She never talks about my not responding to her statuses. But she WOULD talk about my de-friending her. I do like the blocking idea. I had assumed that she’d be able to figure it out but that doesn’t make sense.

She’s someone who is a bit fussy irl but it doesn’t bother me too much. She’s a retired widow with way too much time on her hands and so long as she doesn’t call me and get mad when I don’t immediately call back, we’re ok.

But FB somehow amplifies her annoying traits. She posts these constant statuses that get under my skin. She plays like every single farm game on the site and I’ve had to block tons of apps. Granted other friends also spam with the game posts, but she seems to play ALL of them and I just happen to notice hers more often.

Response moderated (Spam)
Seaofclouds's avatar

@marinelife If you hover over the persons post on your main page, a little ‘X’ appears on the right side. If you click on that, it gives you options. You can hide just that post, all posts from that person (or app if it’s a game post), or report it as spam. If you select to hide all posts from that person (or app), then their posts will no longer show up on your main page. The person doesn’t get any notification that you have done it.

glenjamin's avatar

I would remove her from my news feed, simple as that.

keobooks's avatar

I just removed her from my news feed. I took a look at her profile before I blocked her out and I laughed because I realized I wasn’t getting half of her “good” stuff. She and her daughter in law are currently having a wall to wall battle because my friend constantly posts “funny” captions for the pictures her daughter in law posts of the kids. The captions are supposed to be what the little tykes are thinking and it sounds like most of them are “I miss grandma” “I haven’t seen my grandma in weeks” “Mommy should have sent a thank you card for this outfit I’m wearing, grandma!”

Since I wasn’t the victim of this, I laughed so hard. It’s kind of funny when she’s annoying someone else. No seriously, I feel really sorry for her poor daughter in law. But just the idea… man! I think she needs to start dating or join a club or something!

sliceswiththings's avatar

Ohhh I love @ninjacolin‘s idea! Chances are, other mutual friends of you two are annoyed by it as well, and I imagine you’ll get a bunch of “likes” on that status. She’ll see it, and be a little hurt, but she’ll definitely get the message. It’d be worth it.

Otherwise, just unfriend her on facebook. You can always additionally block yourself from her finding you again, so if she confronts you just say you disabled your facebook. I’ve unfriended people for lesser crimes than this one.

marinelife's avatar

@Seaofclouds Someone said in a different thread that all that did was hide their posts from you, but they were still visible to others looking at your profile or new feed.+

Seaofclouds's avatar

@marinelife I’m not sure about that then. I’ve never noticed a post show up on my profile (when looking at it from someone else’s point of view) once I’ve done that. I do that with all the games that I don’t want to see and so far it’s kept them off my homepage and profile (from what I’ve noticed). You can also remove the person from your newsfeed, as others have mentioned.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I post some of these. Some have a nice message, or they resonate with me personally. I certainly don’t care if anyone else reposts them.
However, there have been plenty that have just pissed me off. Sometimes the message is just obnoxious, and the ones that contain made up statistics blow my mind. Most commonly: 99% of people will be too scared to post, are you in the 1% that will? Idiotic. Those things are viral, and so many people will repost them without even thinking about what they really say. It gets ridiculous, so I definitely understand where you’re coming from.

As for your friend, you can actually block her from your news feed without deleting her or even giving her any knowledge that you’ve done anything to change your settings. If you go all the way down to the bottom of your news feed you will see a blue bar with two links. One says “older posts” and the other says “edit options.” If you click to edit options, you can click her name and set it so that her posts don’t show up in your feed.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

A quick lesson on FB terminology:

News Feed is like a customized electronic report of what your friends post on their own walls, in addition to what they post on yours. It gets more complicated, based upon a person’s settings, but I’ll keep it top line for now.

Wall is the cumulation of all the stuff that an individual posts, like status updates, when someone is befriended, when a comment is made on someone else’s wall, etc. When you click on a friend’s name, you are now looking at their Wall, not their News Feed.

Hide is a control used to restrict some of the garbage posts that show up in your News Feed, like the constant posts of a friend about their game status, as well as friends’ status updates. (This is what @Seaofclouds did.)

Block prevents specific people from viewing your profile. Any ties you currently have with the people you block will be broken (friendship connections, friend details, etc.). Your profile will not be visible to them and you will not appear in their search results or friend lists. Blocking is mutual, so they will also become invisible to you as well.

To answer @marinelife‘s question, “Hiding” only results in making certain or all posts invisible on the owner’s News Feed, which can only be viewed by the owner. The friend can still see Seaofclouds Wall, as well as any profile information. Essentially, it is putting a friend on ‘mute’ while not ‘hanging up the phone and blocking future calls’ from that person.

@Seaofclouds Should this friend post a message on your Wall, like “Happy Birthday!”, I don’t think that it will show up in your News Feed, but you will receive a Notification Alert letting you know that she, and anyone else for that matter, have done so.

OpryLeigh's avatar

@keobooks I recommend you check out the website STFU parents. It’s very specific to the subject of parents and children but it has it’s fair share of example of bossy statuses which I find highly amusing.

El_Cadejo's avatar

Reason number 84652 why I dont have a facebook.

Blueroses's avatar

Oh boy. Bossy status updates and passive-aggressive photo captions?
This woman needs attention, STAT!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Meh, I just don’t do it. If I had a friend doing this and they’d be upset with me not reposting, I’d reconsider the friendship.

ninjacolin's avatar

lol, maybe they’re just reposting the bossyness from someone who’s bossing them around

pshizzle's avatar

Everyone has their grouchy moments when it comes to facebook.

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