What are the questions you would dread to be asked?

What do you look like naked?

Want to touch my penis?

Did you have a car parked out front?

Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you?

What have you been doing the past few years?

Why do you smell like massage lotion?

Say what ?
[ A long a funny story for this // Maybe some other time i’ll explain ]

[ But this only by a few friends who know it’s meaning ]

How many jellies have you thought about while masturbating?

Let’s have sex?

Can I show you the door?

Are you ready for your colonoscopy?

May I see your licence, insurance and registration?

What is that big, ugly, bleeding thing you saw during my colonoscopy? And why have you all stoped talking?

What’s that big hairy thing with eight legs on your shoulder?

You have heard the charges against you. What do you plead?

Did you know you have a hole in the butt of your jeans?

Where did you hide the body? ;)

What to dance to this crappy music?

“Have you got an erection boy?” If asked by my granny while she was sunning herself on the porch XD

@noelleptc I gained ten pounds once and an old lady asked me that. That sucked.

“Would you like a chocolate hob-nob?” When asked by a dirty gypsy from out of town.

@noelleptc She put her had on my tummy and everything! I was at work. Cause she was old I was polite.

Picking up birth control……… Did you know your pregnant?

Is this body your son?

Is it in yet? If asked by an alien that just abducted my white arse. Anal probe it ain’t :¬(

Is that a tumor?

Do you want a popcicle? I’ve got some popcicles in the basement.

By the way did you know your girlfriend could suck that hard, er, from a soda pop…straw?

Surgery went great but would you mind if I operate again since I’m missing my keys?

Can I pee on you?

Aren’t you that guy with Chris Hanson on TV?

Does anyone here know how to fly the plane?

Are you sure?

Hate that!

When does it get hard? :¬(

Is that it? Asked during sex.

Does this look good?
And its obnoxious cousins…
Do these go together?
Would this be okay to wear to /your family’s dinner/the wedding/the picnic?
and God help us all….
Which of these shoes go better with this dress?

Does this look infected?

Are you ready for the end of the world?

Did you remember to feed your fish?

Is there a hole in this condom?!

Would you like ice with that sir? Said by a waiter on board the titanic…funny, i’m laughing look!

For realz, yo?!

Would you like some penicillin?

Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?

Is that a thimble or are you just happy to see me?

Do your mean for your singing to sound like that?

Do you take this woman to be your lawfu….....? Only kidding, a little ;¬}

Dad, those worms were squirmy and salty weren’t they?

Do you know you can save money in minutes by switching to Geico?

Do you have a different credit card?

Is it all right if I miss rehearsal tomorrow?

“You haven’t made any plans for next year have you?” Asked with a worrying expression on your doctors face :¬(—

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

(Police Officer) May I come in?

If you were me, what would you do?

What would Jesus do?

Where’s my watch? (from the proctologist)

Did you get the memo?

@erichw1504 about the TPS report cover sheet?

Did you remember to call [whoever] for his/her birthday?

@Blueroses Ummmm, yyyeaaahh. Did you finish the reports?

What’s with the tutu?

@Blueroses We have a rule – if the surgeon leaves it in you then it’s yours.

Wheres the condom?

Am I pregnunt?!

Can we have a threesome?

@creative1 On the flip-side, if a guy were asked that…

@erichw1504 really? without regard to the sex/species of the asker?

Can I touch your boobs?

Do you want us to look for your finger? ( asks the EMT responder )

Have you always had this lump?

Would you like free tickets to Lady Gaga’s concert?

Does my ass look big in these jeans?

Your ex-boyfriend is at the door, do you mind if I let him in?

What the he*l is that on your face?

Is that your car racing away down the street?

Are you trying to kill me? My God, what is this!? (After feeding your wonderful new recipe to a friend)

Do you have my ticket? (When you are moments away from boarding a plane with your spouse)

Are you aware that Fluther is down?

I guess you wouldn’t mind if i play my Celine Dion cd collection all night long, eh?

Ha! @rebbel That’s just pure torture. How long could you last before running an icepick into your eardrums? I reckon I could go 15–20 minutes.

@noelleptc OMG! Please stop it! I can’t get the vision of Leonardo Di Caprio on the bow of that ship out of my head. Arrrrrghghghg!

Do you think I have a big cock?

@noelleptc said with fingers in ears La La La La La La La La

Where were you last night, at approximately seven thirteen PM? Mind if we come in, please?

Somebody hold @noelleptc while the rest of us give her a beating :D

Is that what you’re wearing?

@Blueroses I’ll hold her…’‘fondles’’ :D

Do I look fat in this??

You wanna see pus?

@mazingerz88 That’s not a question I’d mind being asked.

@Symbeline Of course. : )

Can you do the dishes?

Damn it, soap bubbles are all cute and funny. I’m asking for nasty infected wounds releasing dead cell juice lol.

I’m there, dude. :D I’ll be gentle. ^^

@Symbeline Would you be interested in ripping off my brownish purplish scab?

Juice is how I cruise, foos!

When’s the last time your showered?!

(If I got pregnant) Do you want to keep the baby?

How old are you?
How much do you weigh?

Is that your real hair?

Isn’t that your plane? as it takes off without you

What’s wrong with your hat?

And you believed her when she said she was eighteen?

What’s wrong with your link? @erichw1504

@Blueroses Nothing, why?

Now it works. :) That hat looks like sperm bouncing off a diaphragm

Maybe it’s better if you hear this sitting down?

Where is it?

Why do you keep looking at her?

Does this make me look fat?

Will you captain the starship we’ve secretly build for the past 50 years?