Social Question

Kokoro's avatar

How do you control urges to "vent" about others?

Asked by Kokoro (1424points) June 17th, 2011

I have someone I work with that I consider a friend, but not a true friend. She can be good sometimes but she has a side I do not like. She acts great to customers or bosses but with her equals she is a major two face. She’ll act like she wants to help us out but even talks about her previous co worker (my best friend) like she’s better than him. So it really irks me and I continue to talk bad about her. I’m fed up with her insincerity, but talking about her so much just makes me feel as low as her.

What do you guys do in a situation like this?

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8 Answers

Mariah's avatar

I don’t. I vent. I just keep my venting to safe places, like anonymous internet forums. Kind of like what you just did. :)

Cruiser's avatar

It is work….ignore it, you are not getting paid to take sides in personal relationships including your own. DO NOT mix friends with work unless you really enjoy conflict and possibly the opportunity to have to look for new employment.

filmfann's avatar

I swear, I thought this was gonna be a question about farting in public.

People who talk about others are insecure. Give it time, and they will either get over it, or recognize that they are correct about not measuring up.

Berserker's avatar

Well, ask yourself this; besides feeling as low as low as her, what is talking bad about her gonna fix? Nothing. And if she found out, it would make it even worse. @Mariah has a point. There’s healthy venting, but don’t let it consume you.

BarnacleBill's avatar

This person is not a friend, but is merely someone you work with. Just like people you go to school with are classmates and not friends. In the scheme of things, she doesn’t really matter because everyone knows she talks about everyone. What she says has little credibility.

Sometimes you can stop a person like that with a well placed question or two, preferably with an audience? When they go on about someone, look puzzled and say, “Now why would you say that?” “That’s not what you said to their face yesterday.” “I can’t believe you would say that about them, after they helped you out yesterday.” “Wow. If that’s the way you talk about your friends, I can just imagine what you say about us when we’re not around.”

YARNLADY's avatar

I don’t even try. I just do it in my private journal where no one will ever see it.

ucme's avatar

“I will let no man make me stoop so low as to make me hate him.”
Works for me.

Kokoro's avatar

You folks always give great advice, thank you so much.

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