Social Question

Heather13's avatar

Why would a guy touch a girl from behind and run off pretending its not him before she could turn around?

Asked by Heather13 (495points) November 16th, 2017

He is my General Manager. I dislike him and avoid talking to him. He doesn’t act like a pervert though. But I know he is very “close” to another coworker. If she or any other employee is texting during work, he allows them. If he sees me texting or smiling at a text, he throws a non-verbal fit. For example, when he was angrily throwing things near by me and stomping off, or shouting at someone else about something dumb. But never says “get off the phone. ”
I suspect he have aleady slept with the other cowoker. She is very cherpy all a sudden, and they talk to each other in a low voice while standing close. When it comes to my interaction, its cold from my side. But I don’t want to deal with him. But I love my job and have been there longer than him. (I am hoping he transfers. Hence, the reason why I stay). He finds dumb ways to touch me or talk to me when I avoid him.

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12 Answers

Inspired_2write's avatar

I would be very careful in “Letting him” get away with that kind of behaviour.
He could be testing your boundaries ( limits) to see what he can get away with.
If one confronts him right away and let him no that that is unacceptable to you,then he may back off. Yell him if it happens again that he you will talk to his superior ( sexual harassment issue). But you need witnesses as well in case he turns it into a simple accident thing?
The fact that he parades his feelings for the other women is an indication that he is trying to show you how popular he is with women and that possibly “You ” should be lucky to have him! Make sure that you let everyone know that you DON’T date people from the same office and company, period!
Be professional in how you handle this issue. If possible bring a witness ( union or other) as you tell him that no personal contact is allowed.

snowberry's avatar

Document, document, document! If he does any of this nonsense in front of a security camera that would be to your advantage.

elbanditoroso's avatar

He is running for senator in Alabama.

LornaLove's avatar

You’ve written about this topic in various ways in a few questions. Why do you still work there? It also sounds to me as if you are watching every minute detail of your interactions with males in general. Then you recite them here? To which end?

Get in touch with who you are, your boundaries and stop obsessing over other peoples behavior. if it feels wrong, it normally is. Don’t concern yourself with who is sleeping with who. It just seems to me that you are very absorbed in people and their mannerisms and their behaviors.

There is something not quite right in your post are you very young? If you need sincere help go and speak to a trained and qualified counselor.

Heather13's avatar


You are also too absorbed with my other questions and attaching them to this one. Its not being obsessive if I notice him or anyone else tapping me from behind and literally running away, especially more than once. And there is much more to this than I can type. I am not some mentally unstable bystander watching people. It’s obviously centered around me and our interaction. I know you will rebuttle. But no condescending comments about my state of mind please. Don’t bully.

janbb's avatar

In this atmosphere, his behavior is not acceptable. You can go to the head of HR and complain or you can shame him by turning around and loudly saying, “Did you touch me?” It doesn’t matter why he does it, you have the power to stop it.

chyna's avatar

Every job I have ever had, I make it clear within the first week that I don’t like or want or tolerate people touching me. Then if someone does, I remind them to keep their hands off of me.
This stems from my first job. A really creepy guy that was my supervisor would drape his arm over my shoulder every time he talked to me. I finally found a great way to stop him. I have long hair and I told him he had to stop because it pulled my hair.

seawulf575's avatar

It sounds like he continues to behave like this because no one has clocked him on it. When we look the other way or put up with a behavior, we are giving tacit agreement with that behavior, regardless of how we feel about it. My suggestion would be to talk with HR to find out what options are open to you. As @snowberry suggested….document, document, document. Even if something doesn’t seem right but you can’t put your finger on it, document your feeling. Keep a journal. Not on a company computer, but on your phone or in a book. If you start to get harassed (which is a distinct possibility), you can take that journal to an attorney and bring suit against the individual and the company. But first, you need to talk to HR so they are bought into whatever action comes forward. If the behavior continues, and HR has taken no action, the company has no response…no way to blame you for not giving them the chance. For now…follow the rules, tell the idiot if he is stepping over the line (tell him if his actions bother you), and keep a record of things.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Being honest and forthright is not bullying.
I too have read your prior posts. I can tell you right now you are overinterpreting the actions, moods, and behaviors of people around you, and obsessing about it.
That does not mean you should have to put up with unwanted physical contact. You have been politely advised in every way possible how to deal with those unwanted situations.
Your only true solution at this point is to seek help from a professional who can help you face these situations and deal with them effectively.
Sometimes people have to be told things bluntly, without cuddles and warm milk. That is not bullying. That is just the hard truth.

SergeantQueen's avatar

It could be an accident. Brushing up against you in a rush, hence the “running away” part. You first asked a question about your General Manager in June of 2015 Almost two years ago now. If he is still acting strange or whatnot, maybe it is time to consider HR. He probably won’t transfer if he’s been there 2 years already. @LornaLove wasn’t attacking you in her response, just making a point as to the amount of questions dedicated to him, as well as the time span. Some people on here are suggesting that he is a predator (I’m not going to argue that) so with you walking around work with that thought in your mind you could really just be over thinking things a bit. The incidents also seem to be escalating in your questions, from obsessive apologizing to touching you from behind and leaving right away.
If he is some sort of pervert, then they will continue to escalate the more you keep quiet about it and let him off. Speak up. Yeah, some people may think you are a bitch for doing so but he shouldn’t mess with you anymore.

SergeantQueen's avatar

Also, do what @chyna said. I hate being touched by people (including friends, only real exception is family and my boyfriend). I had to make it very clear to a few people that I don’t like touching because they kept patting my back. Yes, it was friendly, but I didn’t like it so I voiced that. They stopped. Occasionally, they do it out of habit but then catch themselves and say sorry. Most people will understand not wanting that kind of attention, and they will respect that.

josie's avatar

The only way to know is to ask

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