Social Question

Mariah's avatar

Where, or with whom, do you feel most "in your element?"?

Asked by Mariah (25876points) June 27th, 2011

Is there a particular place, or group, with whom you feel you behave most naturally? A situation that makes you feel confident or at ease?

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45 Answers

zenvelo's avatar

At AA meetings. Out with my girlfriend or my old college friends. More so than with my family of origin, which slips into the old dynamic despite us all being in our 50s and 60s.

Plucky's avatar

The Canadian Rockies is where I feel most in my element. My partner is who I feel most comfortable with. Also, spending time (or working) with many of the different animals.

Dutchess_III's avatar

At the lake. If it’s not 110.

redfeather's avatar

Usually with my good friends. Any of my friends if I have a couple drinks.

Berserker's avatar

The night is my element. Everything seems to be better then. I like the silence and solitude, and it helps me concentrate better. I feel more alive.

Mariah's avatar

I think my answer to this question is one of the biggest reasons why I was “weird” in high school and I generally don’t fit in well with my peer group. I’ve always felt more “in my place” in groups of adults than in groups of my peers.

In general, when I’m not with people who I feel a need to impress/feel accepted by (it’s stupid that I feel that need around my peers but I do and don’t know how to stop it), I am more comfortable and less awkward. Which then makes me more likeable, so it’s very counter-productive.

Oh, and this’ll sound really fucked up but I always feel very comfortable (social interaction-wise) in medical situations: at the hospital, at the doctor’s. :\

Dutchess_III's avatar

@Symbeline I like late evening for that reason…

Berserker's avatar

@Dutchess_III Yeah…I worked an evening shift for like four years, and had the rest of the night to myself. With a day schedule though, I miss most of it. :(

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

My partner, my kids, my best friend.

KateTheGreat's avatar

I feel as though I’m in “my element” whenever I’m all alone with my gun in an open field or target range. It’s where I can release my anger and calm down.

As far as people go, I feel the best when I’m around my best friends. It’s the best feeling to be around people that you can trust and know that they care about you.

janbb's avatar

In water in terms of an “element’ – with my sons in terms of ease.

Michael_Huntington's avatar


Plucky's avatar

Ooo, @Symbeline and @janbb ..I do love the water and night too. :)

Aethelwine's avatar

On, in or near a body of water.

KateTheGreat's avatar

@Michael_Huntington I knew you’d say that.

The_Idler's avatar

At the top of a huge tree =] (with a view of the town)

On the roof of a building I stealthed my way up (with a view of the city)

At the top of a hill (with a view of the city)

Or just anything else involving infiltration, climbing or views. Preferably all three.
Add a bottle or two of fine ale and some pistachios, and I’ve got the perfect day out.

Either that, or: exploring alone in a bustling, exotic city. Asking any friendly-looking people if they’d care to join me for dinner, some tea, a few beers, a joint or a minor expedition.

Bia hơi!

Michael_Huntington's avatar

I also belong in Hong Kong. A dirty, indifferent and gritty city…I love it!

Coloma's avatar

I’m a bohemian at heart, have done the ‘classy’ woman trip, but, I am most in my element working at my little river store, discussing books and travel with all the tourists and river guides, and fraternizing with all the cool, free spirited, young hippie river kids in my tourist zone. And the old hippies too! LOL

Today was “Rattlesnake tale day”, 3 of us have had big snake encounters this week. haha

I am also most in my element at home, wandering around my little Walden Pond property and being myself, hanging out in my yard with the critters.
Thoreau me baby! :-)

The_Idler's avatar

@Michael_Huntington Yeah man, possibly the greatest city I’ve seen.


Ah, the lights, the smells, the fact you can buy literally anything you could possibly imagine even at 0130, the fucking food…. so much going on, such variety of people, I could spend days simply wandering and watching (and eating)

Coloma's avatar


Yeah…and the dumplings…my kingdom for a dumpling and a bowl of corn soup.
Hold the fried duck heads and seaweed. lol

TexasDude's avatar

In the woods or in a bookstore.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

City: San Francisco. I can walk the streets and recognize faces from a decade ago and even if I don’t know the people personally, we nod and/or smile in acknowledgement. I love that and miss it!

Rural: New Mexico. Both my mother’s and father’s families trace back there to the mid 1800’s and it’s one place I can go and find people who look like me… in a small small village of less than 400 souls.

Situation: Playing hostess to friends.

Berserker's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard In the woods, not so much for me, unless it’s all haunted and shit. But total lurve for the bookstores. :)

TexasDude's avatar

@Symbeline you need to come to ‘merica so I can show you the haunted woods near my friend’s house.

Berserker's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard Really? They’re haunted? What happens in there?

Coloma's avatar


Come on out to my place, you can hang in my woods where, just this morning, I raked up a 5 foot Pacific Diamondback Rattler! He was pissed! lol

Berserker's avatar

@Coloma I denno if that’s considered haunted, but it’s still fuckin awesome. :)

TexasDude's avatar

@Coloma freaking awesome.

@Symbeline not actually, but during the month of october, people come from all around to walk through them because a charity sets up a walkthrough haunted attraction there. The best part is that they leave their decorations out there all year, so the woods are incredibly creepy in the Summer or Winter, because they are dead quiet and there are plastic skeletons hanging from the trees and random corpses scattered about.

Berserker's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard That’s…awesome. I’d check that out so bad.

woodcutter's avatar

Far enough out in the mountains where there is nothing man made in site. With my dog. She’s really quiet for a female as all people talk too much, which is a bad place to hear that.

cookieman's avatar

I’ve been lucky to have had a few times in my life where I felt I was with “my people”.

• I met a friend first year of high school who became the brother I never had. We practically completed each other’s sentences. Years passed, we were inseparable – each other’s “best man” at our weddings. Then, after three years of marriage, he went through an ugly divorce, had (what can only be described as) a mid-life crisis and disappeared off the radar. I never really saw him again. I miss him terribly.

• my wife (then girlfriend) and I began hanging out with this other couple in highschool and were the center of a larger group of like-minded friends. We were like a floating commune of fun for about seven years. After my wife and I were married, this other couple was engaged, but she abruptly called of the wedding. This basically caused a civil war amongst us friends and destroyed they whole thing.

• In art college, I was lucky enough to share studio space (and classes) with the most amazing group of creative, intelligent, open-minded people. But, alas, college comes to an end and (despite our best intentions) we all move on to other lives.

In all these scenarios, certain elements, for a period of time, lined-up and attuned perfectly. They’re only meant to be temporary, I suppose.

But sometimes, I miss my people.

wundayatta's avatar

The people at the dance workshop I attend weekly.

King_Pariah's avatar

Now? Alone with cigars/ cigarettes, music, and a drink

everephebe's avatar

Silversmithing, alone… Or in the kitchen cooking up a storm.

mazingerz88's avatar

@Michael_Huntington and @The_Idler Count me in with HK. The sights, the smell, the store signs that seem to fill the streets from top to bottom. But I’m in my element mostly inside massage parlors. Lol.

Next time you’re there, if you see a guy wearing a Fluther t-shirt and drunk in the subway, be sure to holler. : )

athenasgriffin's avatar

With my mother, strange enough. She’s really critical, but I can be whoever I want to be around her.

Seelix's avatar

In a bookstore or library, or at a punk show.

rock4ever's avatar

In the woods.

tinyfaery's avatar

The streets of Hollywood where I am surrounded by people of all different nationalities, where many different languages are spoken, and where no one gives me a second look because I hold my wife’s hand or because I have tattoos. Ahh…home.

mazingerz88's avatar

@tinyfaery Ah yes, Hollywood and Vine? Got a tatoo there years ago. : )

Nimis's avatar

– at the beach
– in a library
– in architecture or art studio
– in woodshop
– at The Crucible
– at Urban Ore, East Bay Depot or Scrap
– at an estate sale, thrift store, flea market

– by myself
– with my family
– only with a handful of friends
– with kids who haven’t hit puberty
– with older people who couldn’t care less what you think of them

– working with kids
– working with my hands
– reading a book
– listening to music

– late night
– early morning (before sunrise)

@cprevite I’m sure wherever they are in the world and in life, your people miss you too.

cookieman's avatar

Aw, thanks @Nimis. I hope so.

And, hey…nice to see you.

Brian1946's avatar

Under a forest of orange trees filled with orange-eating orangutans.


I recommend avoiding the Mel’s Diner on Sunset.

Mariah's avatar

@Brian1946 Under THE orange tree?

Brian1946's avatar

@Mariah Perhaps that one if I was able to find it. I guess about the only way I could do that would be to examine wuntreeatta time.

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