General Question

acebamboo77's avatar

Any confidence boosters out there?

Asked by acebamboo77 (717points) April 28th, 2008

Basically, I got a thing for this guy, but I don’t trust him, even though he’s one of my best friends, and has never turned his back on me ever. Lately we have spent alot of time together and sometimes I just feel like my efforts are pointless sometimes. So I was hoping some one would have some lil pick me up tips or tricks!

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

11 Answers

Breefield's avatar

Since you’re the girl, you have all the power to make this happen. He’s the guy, and the thing he’s most afraid of is being too forward and ruining things for him & you. If you want him really bad you have to be forward so that he knows he can be that way too.
Now, in the event he doesn’t reciprocate you’ll know he’s not interested.

acebamboo77's avatar

Damnit, I am not a very forward person when it comes to emotions at all, especially when theres a solid friendship on the line, that I do not want to make awkward. It’s not the thought of him not reciprocating I am worried about, it’s the fear that things may be awkward after if he doesn’t feel the same.
There have been several occassions where I feel as if he’s sending me hints, but I don’t know if I am reading into things too much.
I just need to find some confidence boosters thatll help me grow some balls and say what i need to.

Breefield's avatar

Us guys have the same fears. Maybe just bring up dating, and from there suggest you two, and then see his reaction.

acebamboo77's avatar

I think thats a sort of sneaky/not-too-forward way of doing business that I could handle

lovelyy's avatar

what do you mean when you say “but I don’t trust him”? I too have a hard time being forward, I feel the guys should say everything first.(: If you’re like me it’s extremely hard to put your heart out there. You should try joking around about you two dating and see what he says if he says no you get to say something like ha I’m just kidding.

edit: sorry, I didn’t read the other answer until just now(:

Breefield's avatar

i.e. – what I said, but yeah, that’s the way to go!

acebamboo77's avatar

@ lovelyy – yeah i am definitely the sort that thinks that the guy should spill before i make any drastic moves….. i think the joking around thing is a good way to go in this situation

ironhiway's avatar

OK I’m going to assume that this is the same guy who sent you the song in your first question. And the same guy in most your other questions.

My answer based on that, seams that he is interested in at least keeping the friends with benefits going. However I don’t believe that it’s just physical, because he’s had another relationship since your time together. I believe that he feels that the two of you flow together and he likes the physical part too.

You also have an interest in this relationship. So there seems to be an opportunity here, for the growth necessary, for a solid relationship to occur. I do not know why you don’t trust him. That is for you to evaluate. As far as what to do let it flow naturally and don’t switch gears too fast. If you’re going to be leaving to school again let that be upfront.

When you go back to school your leaving will provide proof of the summer’s relationship. If what you develop takes hold and becomes something more, it will become painfully obvious to both of you. You may just have the opportunity for one of those great meant to be relationships. Take it a little step at a time and don’t try to force it. If nothing else you will have a great summer of memories to add to those from the past.

And like delirium said in your next question “Babe, those ain’t subtle”

Don’t try to decode the man, you both want the same thing, “a great relationship for the duration”. And you both think you may have found it. I hope you’re right go for your dreams.

psyla's avatar

It’s not going to happen. You don’t trust him. You’re both focussing on the relationship as a theme or topic so that love is continually a consideration in your heart. You’re psychologically preparing yourself for the future where your true love awaits. Having this friendship with him now will keep you on a “path” that leads to a man that you will fall in love with and marry.

scamp's avatar

Just stay friends with him. If he wanted more, you would know by now. I’ve read your other questions too, and it doesn’t look like it will go where you want it to.

chill_out's avatar

Don’t fret too much…. Keep it going but don’t rule out other men… Wtvr makes u happy
Also, you can bring up in conversation another guy or the potential of another relationship (real or not) and see how he reacts n take it from there? Could clue you in to his intentions
After all, if he’s supposedly a friend that’s something you would talk about no?

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther