Would it be inappropriate to mention to the person conducting my road test that I have been working through an extreme phobia of driving?

It’s not that it would be “inappropriate”, it just wouldn’t (and shouldn’t) matter.

Driving examiners are used to first-time drivers being nervous about passing. That’s part of what they deal with day in and day out. (I’d like to see how this works in Europe, where friends there tell me that no one passes their first exam. It’s unheard-of.)

Tell him you’re nervous if you want, but don’t expect sympathy or “better marking” because of it. All you need to do is demonstrate that you can control the vehicle and obey the laws.

I suggest that you spend some time (near the test) with someone who you get along with very well and who is a very patient and good driver – and have that person play the part of the examiner with you.

@CWOTUS I’m not looking for him to go easy on me, gradewise, because of it. I’m looking for him to not scream at me and just tell me calmly if I’m doing something dangerous. I know that some kids probably need to be screamed at to get a message through their heads, but I want him to know he doesn’t need to do so for me, because I’m already terrified of driving.

Driving examiners don’t “scream at” anyone who is attempting the road test. That would be incredibly rude, dangerous and unprofessional. If you attempt a maneuver that is inherently unsafe or demonstrate that you are totally unqualified, then the examiner may request (order) that you pull over to the curb and terminate the test. That’s the extreme.

…Well I got screamed at my first time, so apparently they do…

I was (and am) the same way as you when I got my license. The woman who gave me my driver’s test was very nice. Professional and straightforward, but nice. I would have complained the first time that I was screamed at. I would have gone to a superior… that’s dangerous!

And, yes, I think you can tell them about your experience. I assume, or hope, that the person testing you this time can control their outbursts.

@Mariah Yes, it would. You are not asking the person to be “easy” on you, you’re asking for politeness and respect.

I don’t see where telling your instructor about your phobia would serve any purpose. You know your limitations, just try to concentrate and let go of any stress and fears that you may have. If an instructor should start to yell and scream at you, calmly turn to him/her and say that you are under a lot of pressure and would appreciate it if they would not yell/scream while you are trying to drive. Good luck!

The organisation that does the driving tests in the Netherlands has developed a special test for people who suffer from fear of failure.
Could be worthwile to check if something similar exists in your countrystate.

If you had an examiner “scream at” you (and we need to be clear that you mean the word “scream” as it is defined in the dictionary and in common usage: “loud, piercing yell”), then that person is in the wrong profession and should be reported.

If he merely “spoke up” because you were doing or about to do something unsafe, then that’s his job. I’d love to hear his side of the account – not that I don’t believe you, but there are always two sides to the story.

@Mariah Some nerves are a good thing. It keeps you from taking chances. I was totally fearless from the get go and tried a few things I shouldn’t. I survived, but a couple cars didn’t. Let the tester know your a little nervous, but don’t confess to a phobia.

I did do something dangerous (like I admitted to in the original post, I drove terribly) and she yelled (yelling is a better word for what she did, but it was not just speaking) at me for a good minute. I know that speaking up when I’m doing something dangerous is their job; that’s what I’m trying to ask that they do for me. Apparently this woman is notorious in our area for being the “mean” grader. I’m still upset about it to this day, stupidly enough.

I don’t know what I’m going to do, I feel like I’m never going to get my license.

Can you schedule your test at a different locale?

@SpatzieLover I’m definitely going to be doing that. I still feel hopless about passing; maybe I have a terrible misconception about how hard it is, I don’t know.

I wouldn’t mention it to the instructor as I don’t see the benefit. There won’t be anything they can do to assist you once you’ve told him/her. Have you tried any visualisation techniques? I know meditation isn’t for everyone but it might be worth giving it a try under the circumstances. Basically, anything that can help you to remain in a calm state of mind will be worth exploring.
I definitely think you should change your thought pattern too. Tell yourself you will pass until you start to believe it. You will pass :-)

Or you could ask them to relax before starting with you. No need to tell them you had problems with it.
Just ask him /her / them to be calm with you because you do not like anxious people.

@Mariah

Is there more than one DMV in your area that you could choose from?

This would prevent you from possibly getting the same instructor again.

Don’t feel self conscious, lots of kids don’t get their license til they are 18 or over.

Some people don’t drive until they are much, much older.

I would simply say that you are nervous, but, not mention your phobia. Once you have your license you will feel more confident and I am sure you will be behind the wheel a lot, testing yourself and gaining more confidence as you go.

Failing a test is no big deal, many people fail a few times. In California you can retest within one day, which I think is optimum, no space to let your fears grab a hold of you again.

Confidence comes with practice and repetition.

I bet you’ll ace it this time, go, go, go….green light GO! :-D

@Mariah I am sure you are fine. I’m also going to be taking my driving test (for the first time) in less then a month. I’m 24 years old and fear has kept me from doing it up until now. You will be so glad you did it now, and not when you’re my age. It has kept me from doing many many things that I would otherwise have been able to do. Good luck, and let us know how it went!

@FluffyChicken
@Mariah

The anxiety nevers goes away, hell, I am almost 52 and they just renewed my license for another 5 years through the mail..shit, by the time I have to take a driving test again I am going to feel just like you guys! lol

I would not mention it. Try to look confident and professional even if you are shaking on the inside. You do not want to draw the examiner’s attention to anything. “Oh I always have trouble with my “K” turns.” Bad! Or “Don’t scream at me. I break down and cry if I get yelled at.” Bad BAD idea. Show no sign of weakness at all!
You can do it! No excuses are necessary! Do not give yourself an excuse to fail!
Believe it or not, this “show no fear” technique will help in life more times than you can imagine.
Good luck to you! I’ll send you some KICK BUTT energy!

Don’t. TMI

I would not. It is likely to make them judge you more harshly.

I was in your situation, @Mariah, but much older. Let me tell you: you have time to work up a whole lot more terror by age 40 than you have at 18. And I would not have dreamed of letting on that I was nervous, never mind practically panic-stricken. I think that would have put the examiner on full alert, and he might even have tried to see how easily he could rattle me into making a mistake.

Probably my anxiety was fully evident without my saying a word.

During my first road test, the examiner didn’t scream at me. He shouted. He shouted that I was making a dangerous move—when there was no one coming in either direction. This shook me up so much that I then did make a mistake, and he stopped the test, saying I was unfit to drive.

I was a wreck.

My driving teacher had been waiting for me, and he drove me home, asked to use the phone, and scheduled a new test for one week later. He then gave me intensive coaching over the next week.

I was twice as nervous the following week, but my teacher said that was the only way to do it—not to wait but to go right back out there. I spent the twenty minutes before the second test talking out loud to the flowers in the border of the DMV lot and insisting that I knew I could do it. I was more scared than I have been giving a talk or having a baby.

I passed.

Incidentally, the teacher had set a tape recorder running under the passenger seat (I was tested in the driving school’s car—the one I’d learned on). He said it was a good way for him to study examiners’ expectations and students’ errors. You could do the same, and if an examiner screamed at you, you’d have proof.

It took me a good year to stop feeling jittery behind the wheel, and I’m still a bit tense (and watchful) after all these years, but I have never had an accident or got a ticket for anything but failing to make a complete stop at a legal right on red.

I had the nerves the first time and failed. It’s not anything new. The second time was a piece of cake. Also, in NY if you screw up something, like parking, it’s ok to ask if you can try it again. The worst they can say is no.

I agree with the advice you have been offered. A psychologist in a few sessions could help you to control your fear and function better.

If only @FluffyChicken, @ANef_is_Enuf, and @Mariah could take some practice drives together. ;-)

@Mariah

Do you still have some residual phobia about driving?

@Mariah May I ask what you did that caused the woman to feel like she needed to yell at you?