Do girls generally get jealous over their girl friends talking about their dates?

Perhaps if you talked to them as asking advice, rather than comparing notes or bragging about your dates they might be more cooperative. Nobody likes to hangout and converse with someone who is talking about how great their social life is all the time..

Not usually.

Are you trying to hash over every detail? That might be tiresome.

If you are very close with your girlfriends, then they would most likely want to hear about all of the juicy details and then give you advice about how to make sure everything is going OK.

People (female and male friends) that are more like acquaintences, will only want to hear the most basic details: I just met a new guy, he seems pretty nice, we’re going out to dinner on Saturday. Anything else is none of their business and you shouldn’t try to make it their business.

For close friends, who actually care about you, even though they probably want to hear all of the details, if you come across as though you are bragging, or if you come across as having the same problems over and over and over again, and you don’t do anything to change the way you are handling your dating/emotional situations, then they will get sick of hearing the same old thing (different guy).

@zenvelo No they were more troublesome dates and seeking for advices more like…

@marinelife Not much too details but you need to talk a bit background in order to get them understand the situation and get advice…

@Kardamom Well sadly most of my girl friends are more acquaintences in your sense. I don’t go on that much details, I just have a feeling that this particular girl friend I thought she was close didn’t want to listen but would like to talk about what she wants and become quite judgemental about it.

Not jealous, but people can get bored and frustrated with hearing about guy talk all the time.

@Haleth Why? I don’t, I’m happy to talk about it all the time…

Well, to me it’s because friendships are built on multiple shared interests and mutual support. When I get together with close friends, we talk about all kinds of different things- our hopes for the future, work, school, movies, books, music, travel, family, and our love lives. The reason the friendship thrives is because we’re well-rounded people. Sometimes we do talk about guys and lean on each other for support, but it’s a mutual give and take.

If a friendship has only one person talking about guys all the time- especially if it’s guy problems- then the friendship becomes all give on one side, all take on the other. Here’s an example from my life. A few years ago I was completely hung up over this one guy but couldn’t be with him. I thought about it all the time, endlessly hashed out various suggestions with my friends, and they offered me helpful suggestions but I shot them all down. Eventually, I noticed a few of them starting to avoid me or become frustrated with me.

Finally, one of my closest friends sat me down and said, “Look, asshole, here’s a wake-up call. You have to stop whining about him and find other shit to do. It’s making me sick.” It was pretty blunt, but she’d been patient with my wangsting for a long time. It caused a huge fight between us, but eventually I saw that she wanted me to be happy and healthy, and by constantly thinking about this guy I wasn’t making myself any happier or healthier.

The great part is, she helped me get my shit together and dragged me out of the house. I’m pretty grateful for that.

So it’s boring and frustrating for a few reasons- you have a friend who’s always leaning on you for support and talking about the same problems. It also gets to be predictable- I have another friend who’s had the same relationship problems for four years (her boyfriend is underemployed and unambitious, they live together and he won’t help with rent.) She isn’t willing to do anything to change the situation, so the complaints are always the same. I’m frustrated for her sake, because I want her to be out of this shitty situation one way or another.

If I’m hearing a friend out when she talks about guys, it’s not because I’m interested in guy talk, it’s because I care about my friend and I want her to be happy. Part of guy talk is that it helps you get through the problem and move on. If a friend has the same guy problem again and again, it means she’s not moving forward.

@Haleth I know but I do listen to her shits too about guys her mom or his work too. I will be there to listen and give my advice, but when I need hers on mine, she is not interested. This is what I call a let down.

@Londongirl I’m sorry that she isn’t hearing you out. It’s definitely disappointing to feel that you’re not getting as much out of a friendship as what you put into it. Maybe it’s best to avoid the topic of romance with her altogether if it’s a sore subject between you. My suggestion is to find another outlet, even if it’s writing, fluthering, or talking to a family member. Then, maybe keep things light and breezy with this friend, and talk about your other interests together, and that might make the friendship feel more ‘even.’ Or if you don’t believe she’s a good friend to you, see less of her. It could be that she’s just self-centered.

@Haleth Yes I think at the moment we are not talking but I now see her as acquaintanceship instead of friends…

@Londongirl Well, I’m sorry to hear that. But then again, if you two were more of acquaintances than friends, maybe unburdening all these problems on each other was too much of a strain on a fragile relationship. That sucks.

@Haleth Well, if we were just acquaintances then I cannot see the point to keep her as I can find other acquaintances to hang out. But I want is friendship to support each other, may be she’s not the right person.

It’s fine if you don’t want to hang out with this particular girl. You’ve just had a falling-out and sometimes the easiest thing to do in that case is take some time apart. But there is definitely value in having acquaintances- they aren’t just people to hang out with. I like to think of some of them as potential friends. Maybe things are still on a very light, casual level and we’re still getting to know each other, but there’s the potential that it will develop into a friendship. Deep, supportive friendships can be years in the making or you can grow close quickly, but in almost every case you’re acquaintances first.

@Haleth To be honest, this girl was nice to me but only on emotional level, she wasn’t there. I know she has issues to sort out herself, she has some prejudice on certain race and I tried to talk her out of her perceptions, but when it comes to being friendship I do need friends on more emotional level rather than just going out talking nonsense most of the time….

Well, that’s true- everyone needs an emotional outlet. But if you do that with someone you don’t know very well, it can be too much of a strain on the relationship. The fun stuff is what lays the foundation for the deeper stuff, you know? And the fun, talking nonsense stuff can also be over other parts of your lives that are very fulfilling. In time, that can definitely lead to something deeper.

@Haleth OK you have a point… I think may be I put too much pressure on the relationship, too much emotional stuff, too early on a relationship…

@Londongirl You have a lot of questions that boil down to social appropriateness. Have you ever sought therapy for a social disorder?

I don’t get jealous of my friends dates, and make it a point to ask how they went…

@SpatzieLover Social disorder? Another throw in insult, I guess you are the ‘gang’ then?! No, I don’t think so. Have you considered yourself to be too full of yourself? May be you need to see an expensive therapist to sort out your ego issues?

It’s a legitimate question. My son and my husband have a social disorder. Some of your questions, this one included, coming from an adult make me wonder if you know or are able to know personal boundaries and social appropriateness.

@SpatzieLover Unless you are qualified therapist and I am asking your professional help, which in this case we are in this public chatroom, you don’t know anything about me, and I am not asking your professional opinion, then I suggest your to sort out your own issues first.

Talking about social appropriable, so it is socially appropriate for you to tell someone you don’t know they are social disorder?! Are you having a laugh?!

@boxer3 I would not too, I think it is fun to talk about dates with friends and exchange tips, that’s all part of the fun and being friends…

@Londongirl , I agree. Sharing things that happen in my life with my close friends is something I appreciate having the option to do. They can give me advice if I ask or just listen if I just feel like being heard. Sometimes people get jealous over the most ridiculous things. Jealousy is not a virtue in my book, if your friends don’t want to listen to things that are important to you- I’d say thats sort of selfish of them ,.

@boxer3 I think we are thinking the same… I like friends to give me advice but not to manipulate me and when things are not 2 ways street, I don’t really value them.

It’s rather inconvenient to hear someone else’s love life when you don’t have any. It’s not jealousy but pride. You hurt too much so they just politely ask you not to.

@Hibernate But if you are supposed to be good friends and you should talk about everything without holding back be honest and constructive. I do understand if someone hasn’t got a love life and don’t feel comfortable to talk about it, but I don’t see any issues, as I don’t always have love life but I am happy to listen to my friends love life and give advice when asked for difficult situations.

I personally wouldn’t get very jealous unless they’re dating someone I like.

I have been annoyed by friends talking about their dates absolutely non-stop, especially when these are the same friends who always complain about no one liking them but who always have a date lined up…

A true friend won’t get jealous over me bragging even if I brag with something that lacks from their life, or at least my friends were never bothered by it. I feel you… though your friends do not understand you… they seem to be more like “let’s discuss this thing because it suits me better but please do not talk about that because I don’t want too”.

@Hibernate Exactly what you are saying actually.. that is why I was upset with this particular girl friend of mine… she is interested to talk about her issues but not much of mine issue with guy, she just showed not interest to listen… I think I am kind of giving up on her now…

Good for you girl ^^

@Hibernate Thanks.. I think I should spend more time and energy who are nice and care to me instead… :)