Social Question

boxer3's avatar

Are you ok with being alone?

Asked by boxer3 (4150points) September 29th, 2011

Are you ok with being alone.

Doing your own thing. Going to the mall alone,
the movies alone, or showing up to parties/social gatherings alone?

Do you prefer to spend down time by yourself- doing your own thing- even if it’sjust reading abook or sorting through a list of things to get done: or do you get ridiculously bored and uncomfortable if that happens?

If you’re single are you ok with it?
Do you think the only way you will be happy in life
is if you find a genuine person,or any person, to spend the rest of your life with- or do you think you
may never get married, and have come to terms with and are content with, and may actually prefer that?

I’m very comfortable with myself, doing things that make me happy both with and without other people’s company,
I’m pretty young- but I really feel I will most likely not get married. and I’m ok with it. Sure it’d be nice to have someone who keeps it 100 with me that cares about me and I care about, is honest, etc. BUT the likelihood of that in my opinion is slim to none- I’m not losing sleep over it, I’m not “looking” for someone. Im ok where I’m at. I’m busy alot and I do my own thing.

I enjoy speinding time with my friends – and family,
and I enjoy spending time with myself.

How about you?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

50 Answers

zenvelo's avatar

I am not okay with being alone with nothing to do. I get antsy and try finding people to hang out with. I am better than I used to be, but I think it has to do with a lot of low self esteem when I was younger.

SpatzieLover's avatar

Yes. Now go away. I need some me time

poisonedantidote's avatar

Time alone is very important, but not half as important as time together.

I am very ok being alone, in fact I some times crave it quite a lot. However I find my self thinking of a particular friend while reading your question. I think I could pull off a 2 year shuttle mission to Mars without losing my mind, and I think it would be quite easy most of the time. Having said that, I do often crave company.

At the moment, regarding me being single, that is a tricky one to answer, but I do find my self wanting the company of a specific someone around about now.

linguaphile's avatar

I was always the lone wolf, friendly and accessible, but fiercely independent. Then I got married. 12 years later, I found myself afraid to go to the grocery store or even the corner mart alone. 1 more year later, I’m single, and regaining every ounce of independence I can possibly gain back—and I LIKE it. The only time I don’t like being alone is in the middle of the night with strange noises and movements outside.

ucme's avatar

No, I mean I don’t suck my thumb & have a panic attack, but I prefer company.
I’m a people person, for want of a better term.

Coloma's avatar

Absolutely! I have been single for 8 years and LOVE my own company, LOVE my peace and space! I’m a natural extrovert but, I have reached a place of maturity now where I am very comfortable spending time alone. We balance out more as we age, and inspite of my outgoing nature I am very discriminating in the company I keep these days.

boxer3's avatar

@zenvelo , I think if you can find that peace of mind to appreciate your time alone, and giving yourself something to do- you will feel liberated.

@linguaphile , I’m sure that independence was lurking in there that whole time :) I’m sorry to hear that youre marriage did not work out, but glad that you still have yourself and are liking it. ..

@Coloma, that sound very familiar to me. sort of like you read my mind. heh. good for you.

note: I don’t think there’s anything wron with people who would rather spend time with others btw :]

boxer3's avatar

@poisonedantidote , I hear you 9 days out of 10 I feel the way I’m decribing now- but every so often….

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I don’t mind being alone or doing stuff alone for short times. My first job I was on the road by myself all the time.I’ve probably eaten more meals alone than alot of people. I’m surprised at the number of people that will not go in a place alone for a meal. But I’ve had a S/O for so long it would be tough to imagine anything else.

boxer3's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe , at least you’ve experienced both ends of the spectrum :]

ddude1116's avatar

I’m way too comfortable being alone…

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@boxer3 Yeah, I suppose being alone is better than a lousy relationship, but a good one is pretty nice.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

I wasn’t always, and it isn’t by choice that I learned how… But I do enjoy my own company. I always know what to expect from me… I never let me down… Others do that.

fizzbanger's avatar

Never thought I would want to get married, but it happened. I’ve never been uncomfortable with solitude or had a huge social life.

We have our share of alone time, and are also comfortable being “alone together” sometimes (reading/watching/doing different things in the same room).

GracieT's avatar

@ucme, I’m the same way. I think that the best way to describe me is that while I’m ok on my own, I so much prefer not to be. A friend once described Sanguines like me by saying that if we were married and our mate was taking a shower we would probably go find someone on the street to talk to. (she was talking about a friend I admire. Once while his wife was taking a shower he went next door just so that he would have someone to talk to. She was probably exaggerating, but I admire him and could see myself doing that.)

smilingheart1's avatar

@boxer3 , after being married for mega years, it has been tough going indeed. However, I am doing quite well overall, more active than ever and involved in new things.

There is a fabulous little You Tube called “How to be Alone” – I have viewed it many times because of all the ways it speaks to single folks of all ages.

I learned about this short film on a news cast one night which mentioned how it had been impacting lives:

It is a really beautiful video poem!!

wonderingwhy's avatar

I greatly prefer solitude but sometimes it’s nice to share it. :)

harple's avatar

@smilingheart1 thanks for sharing that, it’s beautiful!

King_Pariah's avatar

Parts of me hate it, but other parts revel in it. So I can manage being alone for really long times with the occasional wistful thought of company.

woodcutter's avatar

It depends. Does being with a dog count?

Londongirl's avatar

I am quite comfortable and used to do things on my own, but just I miss the companionship with someone you like to share time with.

JLeslie's avatar

Yes, I am ok being alone, really enjoy it sometimes. I don’t mind travelling, shopping, going to restaurants, and more alone. But, I am glad to be married and have someone to hang out with when I feel like it. If I weren’t married I would try to be with my friends more often probably. I guess I like some sort of balance between alone and with others.

Hibernate's avatar

I like alone time sometimes .. someone doesn’t nag you for small things or ask you for help with every thing. I don’t mind helping but there are times when I wish I could just go away for a few hours.

boxer3's avatar

@smilingheart1 thanks for sharing :]

boxer3's avatar

@woodcutter well dog’s count for a whole lot- but I’d probably consider spending time with a pet I loved something I do by myself . Dogs are great.

wundayatta's avatar

I am fine with alone when I want to be alone to concentrate on what I am doing.

I am not ok with being alone when I am alone and I would prefer to be with someone. It is especially a problem when I am not sure the person I want to be with wants to be with me.

But as long as I know there are people out there who know me deeply and love me deeply, I can entertain myself on my own for a long time. Eventually, though, I will need to hear someone’s voice or touch someone or I will start to feel disconnected and isolated and depressed.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@wundayatta LOL… I loved that. Can’t get more honest than honest huh? *Smiles

creative1's avatar

I’ve been doing it for years and I am more than ok with it. I go on trips alone… If I didn’t I wouldn’t go anywhere. So better alone than not at all… you get used to it when your single and want to be active.

ratboy's avatar

Yes—no other person measures up to my standards.

“ALONE, adj. In bad company.”
—Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary

DominicX's avatar

Sometimes. Other times, no. I’m okay with being alone when I want to be alone, such as when I want to work on homework, listen to music, read, or just spend time online by myself. I wouldn’t want to never be left alone. I don’t mind going to stores by myself or eating by myself, etc. but as an extrovert, I can’t take too much alone time. I need it sometimes, but I don’t want it all the time or too much of it.

For example, freshman year when my dorm roommate left because of mono, I was alone for one quarter and I truly hated it. No one to talk to in the morning, no one to talk to in the evening, no one to see when I got home…I really didn’t like it. That was a real eye-opener and showed me the extent to which I like being around other people. I just like to talk to them, be around them, go out with them, do things together, and it doesn’t have to be going to big parties or anything. But I like a good amount of contact with other people and thus I can’t take too much of being alone.

woodcutter's avatar

@boxer3 Agreed. Since my wife was diagnosed with a disabling neurological condition and can no longer do much of anything I had no one to go with so I could either stay home and do nothing or go outside and be alone, which is boring. A dog can never replace a spouse for things like that but what you gonna do. I work alone anyway so sometimes my dog comes along or when I go for walks she comes with me. My wife sleeps a lot so my dogs keep me company and they really like my company too. For my nap time they both pile on the futon with me for an afternoon snooze. It’s a situation that works for us all.
I do spend a lot of time alone but the animals break it up some. Dogs are truly man’s best friend when they need to be.

Bellatrix's avatar

I would like to say yes, but no, when I think about it seriously, no I am not.

I like to be around people and I am sure one reason I fluther is because I am at home on my own and so I crave company. I don’t really like going shopping/to the cinema/dinner etc. on my own. I prefer to be around people.

I think you do get more used to it though. When I was single, I got quite used to being alone. Can’t say I ever loved it though.

Joker94's avatar

In moderation, definitely. I don’t really like going out alone, though, but I’ll do it if I have too. But I’m comfortable enough in my own skin that the idea of being alone for a while doesn’t really phase me much. Sadly, it’s rare that I get left alone much these days, so I gotta make the most of the time I’m granted. Which usually consists of lazing around watching movies. So, yeah. A night of One-Man Twister is usually a nice thing for me, I guess.

cookieman's avatar

I adore being alone.
Luckily, I adore my wife and daughter more, or I’d be a terrible husband & father.

Gingerlaurie's avatar

I am fine with being alone. It’s different than lonely. If something changes, that’s OK, too. =)

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Sure. It wasn’t always like this…but now yes.

Brian1946's avatar


“I get antsy and try finding people to hang out with. I am better than I used to be, but I think it has to do with a lot of low self esteem when I was younger.”

That’s BS. ;-)

Berserker's avatar

I love being alone. All my hobbies and passions are best absorbed when I’m alone, and I like going to places and doing stuff out in public when I’m alone.
I don’t like being alone all the time, but, most of it, yeah.

AmWiser's avatar

Yes! I love being alone, and most times insist on it.

boxer3's avatar

@woodcutter, they sure do- the loyalty in them is what I love best.
Also I am sorry to hear about your wife- I hope shes doing alright,,


I’ve never had a problem of being alone. When I was a kid, most of my time was spent being alone. I had a sleuth of animal friends (dogs, cats), but didn’t associate much with other human beings until I got to junior high. Even now, as an adult, I can spend a lot of time by myself and not feel lonely. I love my wife and children, and I miss them dearly whenever I’m away on work-related trips, but I never feel uncomfortable being by myself or going to a movie or restaurant by myself.

I think there’s a big difference between being alone and being lonely. You can be alone without feeling lonely. There is actually comfort in solitude.

Response moderated (Writing Standards)
Ayesha's avatar

Sure. What @ddude1116 said.

OpryLeigh's avatar

I enjoy being on my own providing I know that I can interact with people if I choose.

GracieT's avatar

@woodcutter, I am SOOO sorry for both you and your wife! I am lucky enough to posess a severe neurological condition (my brain injury) and my husband has told me that on some days even though he loves me and would never leave me he has sometimes wondered deep in his heart of hearts if he made the right decision to marry me. It is NOT that he cares for me any less, it is just that some days are harder to cope with. My heart aches for you both. I send you love and smiles and hugs, and I wish your wife pleasant dreams.

KidCurtis's avatar

I’ve always preferred my own company but I even rub myself the wrong way if I spend too much time by myself.

boxer3's avatar

@KidCurtis , hahha wow. So don’t I.

AshlynM's avatar

Most of the time, yes. There are some thing I prefer to do alone, like going to the mall and grocery shopping but hanging at home or going to dinner, it’s nice to go with someone.

Answer this question




to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther