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Mariah's avatar

How does one improve one's self-esteem as an adult?

Asked by Mariah (24822points) October 6th, 2011

How is it different from doing the same during one’s childhood or teen years?

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18 Answers

Jude's avatar

Accomplishing little goals.

I got to a point to where I didn’t care so much what people thought anymore. If I am happy with my choices and no one gets hurt, then full speed ahead.

My Mom always said, “you have a right to be just as happy as the next guy or girl.”

Coloma's avatar

I think most importantly, aside from external achievements, body image, etc. none of which “make” the person/character, that the best way to improve one’s self esteem is to be true to yourself. Keep your own reputation spotless, have integrity, and don’t behave in ways that make you feel bad about yourself. BEING and LIVING in integrity is the core of all self esteem. Hard to like yourself, and forget about loving yourself if you’re acting in ways that harm others. Regardless of any life situation, if you can look in the mirror and KNOW you have never wilfully hurt another, that’s about as good as it gets!

john65pennington's avatar

“As a child, I thought as a child. Now that I am an adult, I must think as an adult and make adult decisions”. Its now time to change chapters in your book of life.

I have lived by this philosophy for many years and through two children and two grandchildren.

It has worked for me.

Also, when in doubt…...don’t.

Schroedes13's avatar

Positive self talk!

KidCurtis's avatar

Small successes and the momentum caused by them.

marinelife's avatar

I really recommend Self-Parenting, a book which helps you listen to your negative self talk.

SpatzieLover's avatar

@marinelife From your many recommendations I bought that book. It is fricken amazing. It’ll seriously help my husband out! Thank YOU!

Sunny2's avatar

For me, it’s to smile at people and get a smile back. I figure we’re all in this world together and our worth as individuals is unimportant. There will always be someone better than I am at what I do and who I am. I think measuring yourself against anyone else is a big mistake. We each have our moment on earth and that’s it. And it’s a short, insignificant moment. Your self esteem is built on the fact that you exist at all.

Coloma's avatar

I am pretty aware of my inner dialogue most of the time, and, ya know, I almost never catch myself engaging negative self talk. I like who I am, and have done lots of “work” over the years.

I DO, however, struggle with negative judgments about others, but, ONLY when they are so clearly screwed up and delusional about THEIR stuff. lol

mazingerz88's avatar

Going out of your way to help people who may need your attention and a bit of symphaty is always a great way to build self-esteem. It never gets old.

Hibernate's avatar

With patience and time.

augustlan's avatar

If it’s a chronic problem, and the self-help doesn’t, well, help… therapy can give you a big push in the right direction. It certainly did a world of good for me and my own self-esteem, which I hadn’t even realized was low in the first place.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

Become a hermit and stop listening to the selfish, conceited, self important, opinionated ignorant, accusatory ramblings of uninformed idiots who like to believe they know, but DO NOT know very much of anything concerning me at all.

Works for me.

raven860's avatar

Maybe by identifying what bothers you and then addressing that problem?
I like what @Coloma said.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@raven860 Identified! Stupidity bothers me.


Unfortunately there isn’t much we can do about it.

raven860's avatar

@GabrielsLamb Lol, is it stupidity shown by others? I think I know that too. Perhaps find people with similar thinking? but that itself can be challenging sometimes.

I don’t know, I suppose “You can’t fix stupid” is all we can say.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@raven860 Not necessarily… My own tends to annoy me as well.

Sunshinegirl's avatar

Acceptance of who you are…

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