General Question

loser's avatar

Have you ever felt totally depressed and stuck?

Asked by loser (15032points) May 10th, 2008 from iPhone

And like the only way out is suicide? I don’t really want to do it because I know what it would do to my family but I really feel stuck here. I try but nothing seems to help or make it better. Maybe there’s something I’m missing here.

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16 Answers

simone54's avatar

You should go to a doc. Your problems are probably caused by something chemical in your brain and not from what really going on around you. Get some help. You may need meds or maybe just someone to talk to.

shilolo's avatar

I agree with Simone. You need to talk with someone ASAP. There are people (doctors, social workers, psychologists, etc.) who are there to help. If you are really feeling depressed, and the notion of suicide has entered into your head, you need attention now. Try calling one of the national hotlines. They will be able to help. Or, if things get so bad that you can’t handle it anymore, go to the local Emergency Department or call 911. Please.

TheHaight's avatar

Yes, please get help, you’re first step is recognizing theres something wrong..which you did. Is there someone you can talk too?? Talking to someone really helps me. Youre right, you’re family and friends would be devastated if suicide happened…so at least you know that. I’ve been through it too and I got help. You can do it too, okay? good luck to you..

richmarshall's avatar

There are good times ahead!!!!!!! We have all experienced bad times or bad things happening and then soon are laughing and loving life again. No matter how bleak it seems at times….life is worth living. Please get some help close by to you.

wildflower's avatar

I’m gonna echo what the others said: talk to someone and get help. There are people that are there to help with just such situations. Contact them.

Also, I have felt similarly, both as a teenager (I suspect most have, although maybe not so severely), but also in more recent years.
I had a very tough situation to work through some years back and as a result I found myself pulling away from people, being moody and having thoughts about suicide because I couldn’t see an end to it.

I had an eye-opener when it occurred to me that what scared me the most was that at that time I could ‘talk myself down’ and get past the thoughts of suicide, but it was getting increasingly worse and I was so scared of not being able to reason with myself one day. After that I took steps to get better and gradually got out of it.

Bub's avatar

You’re reaching out for help and that’s a good sign. Keep doing that until you get what you need. It probably feels very hard right now but you can do it.

FiRE_MaN's avatar

Yes you should probably see a doctor.

but usually i just talk to my friends, but not friends that live around me just people i know that live far away. then even you dont have to worry about them telling others you know. If you need someone to talk to, i can help.

marinelife's avatar

Suicide is not the answer. Thoughts of suicide mean you need help now. You are not thinking clearly about your situation when you are so lost in the pain.

Every single person who has written something to you here cares about you.

Reach out. Call a friend to help that you trust. Get support around getting help. Nowhere is it written you have to do it alone or bear it alone.

TELL SOMEONE NOW IN YOUR LIFE. Call a suicide prevention hot line if you feel you have no one.

Here is one resource:

Please take care. You are so worth it.

nikipedia's avatar

I just want to echo what everyone else said, especially shilolo—he’s absolutely correct.

Also, please keep in mind, part of being depressed is feeling like nothing can ever change and like everything is hopeless. No matter how much that seems to be true, it’s not. That’s just the depression talking.

Be well. Best wishes.

indicatebound's avatar

This is basically how I feel. And the advice I least want is “talk to doctor.” It’s so annoying that the best advice my family or girl who destroyed me (and before she stopped speaking to me) can offer is “pay someone to talk to you”. Yeah. I’m doing it. But it’s annoying and taking like 10 drugs a day when you’re already chronically ill from unrelated diseases gets both annoying and expensive.
I think reaching out for help is good thing and relying on your family. For me, too, I know that suicide would be too unfair to them. You’re not the only one who feels like this. (At least it makes me feel better to know others are struggling too, for some reason I guess)

Spargett's avatar

Ironic username for the question posed.

Hope you find your way out of the whole. I will say you’re not alone. A surpising amount of people will face this in their lives. And more importantly, overcome their struggles.

gailcalled's avatar

@Loser; just dial. As everyone has said, you are not alone. One of my family members committed suicide over 20 years ago and the ripple effects go on and on for those he left behind. There are better solutions.

1–800-SUICIDE 1–800-273-TALK
1–800-784–2433 1–800-273–8255

dayeshere's avatar

My mother committed suicide 3 years ago. It was totally unexpected. It nearly tore our family apart. Suicdal thoughts are serious and should be talked about with a pro. Our family has never recovered. Before her suicide, I had those thoughts myself occasionally. I went to the doctor, he prescribed Paxil and I’ve never felt better. Try it. Life is worth living.

kevbo's avatar

Hey man, I realize this is getting to be a lot of reading, but I hope you don’t mind me adding a few more paragraphs.

I’ve lived with depression off and on for about 15 years. At its worst, which was during college, my first thought every morning was wishing I was dead, and that lasted for two years. I know how compelling that feeling can be no matter what cheerleading other people give you or sometimes you give yourself. In the end, it always came down to finding one reason not to take matters into my own hands. Often it took the form of an obligation to someone else; otherwise it was the messiness of going through with it. If it were possible, though, to will oneself into oblivion, I would have done it many times over by now.

Here are a few things that have helped me get through and even bounce back to a happier person:

1. Give yourself a wide emotional berth. Appreciate the magnamity of your disaster zone, and give yourself the freedom to make miniscule improvements. Every time you have a despairing or hopeless thought, ask yourself what is one small change you can make or thing you can do to feel better.

2. Tell your doctor about your depression and ask to be evaluated for a medical cause for your depression. If the cause is medical, you’ll need a medical solution to take care of a large percentage of what is making you depressed. For example, my thyroid doesn’t work, and if I don’t take thyroid medicine it doesn’t matter how positive I try to be because I am guarenteed to feel miserable and tired no matter what else I do. It has taken me 15 years to understand and then actually accept this reality, but having done so I feel much better more often.

3. Similarly, take a multivitamin. Put the bottle by your bed and take one before you go to sleep. Make that one of your small changes.

4. Seek a cognitive behavioral therapist. Call the director of a behavioral health program, tell them your story and ask them to recommend someone who would be a good fit for you. This should save you the trouble of having to find someone you like on your own.

5. Eventually, you will need to realize that you are internalizing seemingly unfixable problems that are actually external and fixable problems. When I was very depressed, people close to me would sometimes ask “if you could wave a magic wand, what would you want?” That’s too big to deal with. Instead, imagine waving a small, very self indulgent wand. List some small or vaguely defined things you want. Pick one of those things and ask yourself, “what small or slighly creative thing can I do to solve that problem.” Again, keep it small and easily doable. For example, to
lose weight start by driving by a gym every day. Then park in the parking lot for five minutes. And so on.

There’s a place for you in this world, my friend. I’m sure it doesn’t feel like it, and it probably will be a pain in the ass to get there, but it’s true. The nice thing is that once you do flip the switch and start feeling better, the going gets a lot easier. It could be compared to getting
to the top of a mountain. The climb is hard every step of the way with no end in sight. At some point, though, you do find yourself at the top, and it’s easy to walk around, there’s a great view, and it just feels good. So keep putting one foot in front of the other and give yourself the freedom to express all that negative stuff. While your doing that zoom out, so to speak, and have a look at that tired, sad, lonely, hurt, fragile, and despairing human being endeavoring to climb that mountain. Can you help but feel compassion for that person? Can you see that this person has a finite distance to travel before things get easier? You can understand the difference between how this person must feel and how you feel because you can see the top but they can’t. If you could, what would you whisper in the ear of the human down below? Maybe something like It’s okay. You’ll get there if you keep climbing. You’ll get there, and it will feel good.

Babo's avatar

Suicide is never an answer. I can’t emphasize what everyone else has said here enough. You’re on medication now, right? Maybe it just needs to be adjusted. Hang in there, this too shall pass. Please get yourself some help!

loser's avatar

thanks for all your responses everyone

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