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talljasperman's avatar

Is it possible to change from "till death do us part" to "forever and ever"?

Asked by talljasperman (21916points) November 2nd, 2011

Seeing that mexico wants to change the rules of marriage to two years commitments; can it also be changed to last beyond death? Or are couples not wanting to spend time with each other in the afterlife? Would that prove commitment to becoming real soul mates?

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13 Answers

marinelife's avatar

You can alter the words of the ceremony to suit your beliefs and needs. However, no one can guarantee what the afterlife will bring with it.

JLeslie's avatar

You can say whatever you want you just have to confer with the person who you are choosing to officiate the ceremony, make sure they are on the same page as you.

keobooks's avatar

I think the original reason it was “until death do us part” was that people were genuinely afraid of being polygamists in the afterlife if they remarried when their spouse died. I wish I could remember which book in the Bible dealt with this, but I do remember it being addressed.

If this doesn’t scare you, why not go with it?

Cruiser's avatar

With the divorce rate as high as it is, IMO it won’t matter much what you write for the vows.

JLeslie's avatar

@keobooks I hadn’t thought of that (although I think I once asked a question about what people believe regarding afterlife and having been married to a second spouse when one had died). I figured til death to us part was a practical statement reinforcing the religion found it ok for the spouse to remarry, and a statement that divorce is unnacceptable.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

As mentioned above, you can say pretty much whatever you want. Our ceremony was written completely for us, it wasn’t the traditional speech. I don’t remember what it said, though I probably have a copy of it somewhere around here. (I’m not very sentimental about stuff like this, what can I say?)

Seaofclouds's avatar

If you changed it legally so that you were still legally married after your spouse died, wouldn’t that make it illegal for surviving spouse to ever remarry? Would they have to divorce their deceased spouse in order to remarry if they wanted to?

I think the legal aspect of the marriage ending when one spouse dies should stay in place. As far as the 2 year thing, that just seems silly to me and a way for the government to get more money from people as they have to renew their marriage license every two years.

JLeslie's avatar

@Seaofclouds It isn’t to renew every two years, it is the first “marriage” is for two years, and then the couple at the end can decide to get a permanent marriage or let the first one expire. From what I understand the couple decides how things will be divided if they choose not to go forward with a standard marriage. In that way maybe it is good, forces a young couple to think about the financial realities of marriage and divorce. But, I am not saying I am in favor of the two year marriage, I am not sure what I think about the idea.

talljasperman's avatar

I’m getting a Simpsons flashback when Bart’s future girlfriend says that marriage is a three year commitment.

wundayatta's avatar

Since there is unlikely to be an afterlife, I think saying ”‘til death do us part” is about as serious as can be reasonably promised. In any case, marriage is for the community. It is asking the community’s blessing and help. The community’s responsibility stops at death. If the couple wants to remain a couple after death, they don’t need the community’s help. Just as if they want to be a couple in life without the community’s help, then need not get married.

Think of it like this. If there were no community, would there be any point in a marriage ceremony? You would have no people to promise to. There would be no possibility of infidelity. There would be no one else to relate to. Marriage only matters when there are other people.

God knows what the afterlife is (this is said ironically, since both God and an afterlife are major assumptions for which there is no evidence—so if there is no God and no Afterlife, the statement is as true as if both existed). Presumably people could choose to do what they want, except, as far as I understand it, the afterlife is a merging with God and individual personality no longer exists. Hmmm. Sounds like death, to me. Oh wait. Same thing (as merging with God). Only one is a prettier version.

Coloma's avatar

No. I think it would be best to change it to ” Until it is no longer working.” lol

There is NO such thing as “forever and ever” in the vast majority of relationships.

Committment is something that needs to be re-evaluated on a regular basis, and the idea of “forever” is extremely damaging to relationships. It implies duty and obligation not freedom of choice.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

You can choose whatever words reflect your beliefs for a ceremony.

The death do us part bit is probably because for so long, people didn’t live as long but mostly because it was common for women to die in childbirth.

Hibernate's avatar

Well if you want a different type of wording you can say so to whoever speaks there :P

But [and it’s how I see things] you won’t “care” about your beloved earth partner because you’ll be different and your mind won’t be the same and your feelings will change. basically you’ll be a different person there.

@talljasperman I hope you understand what I’m trying to say here ^^

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