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JilltheTooth's avatar

Have you ever been or would you consider being an anonymous sperm or egg donor? Why or why not? (See details, please)

Asked by JilltheTooth (19757points) January 29th, 2012

This hasn’t been asked for awhile, so I thought I’d give it a go. A key part of this Q is the idea of anonymity, it brings a bit of a different dimension to the concept.
And all you fellas who want to comment on wearing a mask while donating in a traditional fashion, chances are your posts won’t be nearly as clever or original as you may think…just sayin’ ;-P

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20 Answers

FutureMemory's avatar

It would be too weird for me to both father a child and not raise it, and father a child and not even know about it.

Blackberry's avatar

I don’t see why not, but there’s also enough men with sperm laying around for me to care enough.

chyna's avatar

Sure. I would be the perfect donor if I still had the equiptment. I have no children so there would never be a chance that the kids would end up meeting and marrying one day.
I have always felt a nudge of guilt (just a nudge, mind you) that, as far as I know, I was able to have kids and chose not to, when there are so many out there that would love to and can’t conceive. And because I don’t want children, I’d never try to hunt the child down afterwards, as far fetched as that would be.

rebbel's avatar

I wouldn’t.
If I would donate, I would like to be a registered donor.
That way the child(ren) that would have come from that donation would be able to track their ‘father’ down (or know at least who he is/was).
But like it said, I wouldn’t, simply because in the Netherlands anonymous sperm donations are no longer possible if I remember correctly.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

I would absolutely consider it. No emotional impact to me at all, It would feel good to help somebody out anonymously.

I just read once in an article somewhere that women tend to want really tall men for donors, and it is sad to think of my donation getting dusty on the “regular height” shelf.

JilltheTooth's avatar

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought : I’m not sure where that article got its info, but the most sought after traits are the ones that most resemble the infertile spouse. For the singles, very often the sought after traits are the ones that are similar to the general family traits so that the child won’t feel like a changeling. The press loves the idea that people are all into the idea of “designer babies” but that is fortunately, IMO not the norm, but it makes better press. If you’re healthy, please donate. It is truly a gift. And I’m not at all biased! ;-)

deni's avatar

I wouldn’t. I don’t like the thought of having a biological child that I don’t know about. It just weirds me out, but I couldn’t tell you why precisely.

Kardamom's avatar

I would never consider doing it, although I admire and appreciate those people that do. I never wanted children and even though I would not be raising the child or even knowing the child, I would know that I created a child and that is something that I don’t want. There are a few genetic things that run in my family that I would not want to pass along. My brother adopted a child (from an open adoption), so I guess our genetic line ends with us.

Blackberry's avatar

*not care enough.

FutureMemory's avatar

@Blackberry Thank you. That was bugging me all day.

tedd's avatar

A good friend of mine did this for several years. I would elaborate on his story, but he’s on fluther so I suspect he may find this himself and post…. whenever he wakes up (he works nights).

JilltheTooth's avatar

@tedd : Did you send this to him? I’d love to hear his take. Thanks.
And what about you? Would you?

tedd's avatar

@JilltheTooth I would not. If I was asked by a close friend or maybe specifically by a person who wanted to be a mother, I would consider the request… but I would not do it anonymously and potentially father children that I would never know about… or that might find me at some point in the future and seriously throw off the “balance” in my life.

I just linked this thread to him.

OpryLeigh's avatar

I haven’t but I would consider it. I have heard that it isn’t a particularly painfree process (for women) which is what puts me off but I would have to do some proper research before making a decision like that. It’s definitely not something I have ruled out doing though.

Ela's avatar

I would have, yes. I would have also loved to been a surrogate mother but my ex was against both at the time.

RandomMrdan's avatar

As @tedd has stated, I donated for several years while attending school. I did it primarily for the money, as it helped pay my rent and bills. It paid quite well. 45 dollars a donation, not to exceed two donations in a week, and each donation to be 2 days or more apart. If I made 8 donations in a month, I was paid for 9.

It was a very long process to be allowed into the donor program. Very thorough family history background, as far back to my grand mother’s eye color.

I wasn’t worried of any backlash to being made a father later in life from this, as it had zero legal binding to me. If let’s say… a couple took my donation, and the father then passed away. I couldn’t be held responsible in anyway shape or form.

I no longer donate. But, I do think of my past donations now as a good thing, by helping families where a father (sterile), with similar family background, can still have a child with his significant other.

JilltheTooth's avatar

Well, @RandomMrdan , I appreciate that you did that. Did you know that some of your stuff might go to single or gay women? Did that make a difference to you? Not trying to start any kind of a thing, here, just wondering if there was anything on the forms for the donors to allow for use only by married couples or traditional families. For the record, I have no problem with that, ones genetic material is pretty personal, after all. I’m just curious.

RandomMrdan's avatar

@JilltheTooth I have no problem with gay women purchasing my genetic material. It wasn’t a thought that occurred to me back when I was donating. But I thought about it sometime later, and it wouldn’t have changed my decision to donate if I had thought about it before starting to donate.

nikipedia's avatar

I have seriously considered it. What stopped me was not any real ethical concerns but practical ones. The process for harvesting eggs is long and involved. You have to take very high doses of hormones, which can have a lot of unpleasant side effects. And you have to abstain from sex completely. Those are both problematic for me.

On top of that, I don’t think I would be doing anyone any favors. My family history is so fraught with heritable illnesses. So I don’t think my eggs would be good candidate eggs.

The idea of my DNA being out in the world doesn’t really get to me, though.

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