Why won't you watch the Academy Awards?

Because I’m not interested in them.

I’m not interested. I appreciate the art, but it’s not so important it needs to be lauded, in my opinion.

The jokes aren’t that great, and I am not really interested in the competition.

Those women are gorgeous, but I can see most of them on the internet naked whenever I want.

When are they?

End of February.

I will watch them, though I have long ago given their decision any weight. I could go through a long list of movies that won best picture that shouldn’t have even been nominated.
I do enjoy the jokes, the stars, and the cruelty of the awards.

Because I really do not care.

my proud antiamericanism requires me from abstaining.

Because I never have, and I have no reason to change.

No interest. Lost the TV habit more than a decade ago anyway.

Because they are BOOORRRing.

Normally I don’t, but this year a friend of mine was nominated so I’m going to watch.

Because I’m too busy watching porn fap fap fap fap fap…

I watch while doing something boring like transferring info into a new real address book from my old falling-apart one. (Or sticking ID post-it notes on the hundreds of photos we found in my mother’s archives after her death 6 months ago.)

I haven’t watched enough movies this year for the awards to matter.

Because if I don’t, then that means for whatever reason, I died.

What’s this for? Movies?

I want to know how The Artist fairs, but I’m not really interested in the Academy’s opinion any longer.

Boring, and I haven’t seen any of the movies to which they pertain.

I’m not much of a TV watcher. How could I possibly let myself miss the red carpet and announcements of each star and the designer whose name is on each gown? That is an epic entertainment fail as far as I’m concerned.

I like to know who won, but I can get that info in an online recap the next day.

Because I don’t have a TV.

I don’t watch TV at all, except for the very occasional indulgence in Adventure Time or if something interesting is on the Military Channel.

Because it’s a giant circle jerk.

I will watch, but on FFWD. I know they’re bunkum, and last year’s hosts were a disaster, but I still enjoy the spectacle. It’s like sport, a constant amongst all the crazy. And Billy Crystal’s intro’s are usually pretty entertaining. Also, there’s knowing how well I did in the office ballot…