Social Question

OpryLeigh's avatar

Did this woman (and her article in the Daily Mail) deserve such online hatred? See details inside.

Asked by OpryLeigh (25251points) April 4th, 2012

Yesterday, a writer called Samantha Brick was subjected to thousands of online hate messages because of this article. Today she has followed it all up with this one. Do you think that she deserved a wake up call from thousands of people (including a number of celebrities) who believe she has an over inflated ego or, do you at least agree with what many are saying even if you wouldn’t have been so harsh yourself? Or do you think that she is only saying what many attractive women already think but don’t have the guts to say themselves for fear of appearing conceited?

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53 Answers

ragingloli's avatar

While I would not have been as harsh, she is at most a 7/10. The fake smiles do not help either.

Bellatrix's avatar

I don’t think anyone deserves to receive hate mail and certainly not to the extent she received it, but if you publish an article saying ‘people hate me because I am so beautiful’ or similar, you really have to expect people will slap you in the face with a not so pretty fish. Most sensible people would have an inkling it would not turn out well. I feel the premise of her article was conceited and I do think that her attitude rather than her looks (whether you agree she is beautiful or not) would seem to be her problem.

flutherother's avatar

She didn’t deserve it but she seems to be stirring it up.

FutureMemory's avatar

I would never dream of telling anyone they were unattractive. To be honest, I am just way the hell above that sort of petty, cruel behavior.

That being said…

If I had to rate this woman’s looks, I would give her a 4 out of 10 at best. (7, @ragingloli ???) She’s actually kinda funny looking. Sorry, but just because you’re blonde doesn’t mean you’re automatically model material.

Her egotistical attitude is definitely ugly.

Aethelflaed's avatar

I think she was trolling, and I think she got the reaction she was looking for.

anartist's avatar

I don’t know. I think she’s a pretty woman, but not arrestingly beautiful, But from the way she tells it, she gets treatment women of my acquaintance who are more beautiful, do not, or at least not to that degree. When I was younger, I even got a little of that attention but nothing like she describes.

One thing I did notice is that in every picture she smiles, and seem to be a woman who radiates happiness. That smile might attract men far above and beyond her prettiness. People enjoy happy people, and a pretty woman who is happy might attract a lot of attention.

I just wonder how she could be so happy with such sadly damaged relationships with females..[Although her husband’s a brick, of course! :-P ].

I sort of feel sorry for her even if she is trolling a bit. Maybe this how she is getting out her frustration with other women.

downtide's avatar

That newspaper is nicknamed the “Daily Fail” for a reason. I don’t think the woman is any more than average appearance, and if as she says at the end, she is looking forward to the decline of her appearance, why doesn’t she just stop wearing the glamorous clothes and start drinking lager and eating chocolate? Problem solved.

LuckyGuy's avatar

The women who complained gave her exactly the attention she wanted. She’ll be on TV next.

It appears “beauty bias ” has been documented. Again from the Daily Mail, Attractive women who attach photo ‘less likely to be employed’

The research, published by The Royal Economic Society, involved sending more than 5,300 CVs for 2,650 job vacancies. For each job, two applications were sent. One contained a photograph of an attractive man or woman, or a plain-looking man or woman. The other CV was identical, but did not contain a photograph.
Nearly 20 per cent of attractive men got an interview.
But only 12.8 per cent of attractive women fared as well.
Of plain men, 9.2 per cent got an interview, compared with 13.6 per cent of plain women. Men who did not attach a picture were asked for interview 13.7 per cent of the time, compared with 16.6 per cent of women.

rebbel's avatar

If she is a stunner then I expect five bottles of champagne the next time I board a plane.

anartist's avatar

@downtide what glamorous clothes?
@LuckyGuy anyone who attaches a photo to a CV is less likely to be employed.
it is just not comme il faut.
What are the stats on that?
@rebbel but only from the stewardesses, the captains won’t be interested. [oops did I say something sexist? Do the airlines have female pilots that we just don’t see on the news?]

Shippy's avatar

I cannot see her attractiveness to be honest, she’s quite plain. But yes, I reckon a nice smile and pleasant disposition is a great thing to have. I have never been gifted champagne or any thing randomly, and I smile a lot!

ccrow's avatar

Ha ha, the follow-up was pretty much what I expected. While reading the first one, I though it sound like she surrounds herself with shallow people; but also that she would completely discount any other opinions as proving her bias. I think she’s attractive, not beautiful… but then I’m older than she is so I’m obviously just hatin’. (I’m slimmer, though- Meow!!!)(And I have better legs, lol!)

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I thought she was kind of a dog. I have to like the person first, then I study the look. I didn’t care for the person at all. She deserves all the crap she got. That’s some of the most shallow drivel I’ve read in a while.

Cruiser's avatar

__“Their level of anger only underlines that no one in this world is more reviled than a pretty woman.“__

If only she was as pretty as she thinks she is she might have a point, but I think she is beyond delusional where she is attributing honest opinions of her obvious lack of true beauty with hate mail. Plus real beauty is more than skin deep and hers doesn’t even puncture the skin.

ucme's avatar

Probably not, but online haters are kind of inevitable.
She looks decidely plain to me, not my type at all.
It’s like placing a photo of a skoda & claiming it to be a supercar.

dappled_leaves's avatar

Is every day a photo shoot in this woman’s house? Why are there so many photographs in these articles?

marinelife's avatar

I agree with others on this thread that this woman is not all that attractive.

If her attitude comes across in the workplace, that “I amk just so much more attractive than you are” that may be what people are responding to negetively.

Instead of focusing so much on herself, she ought to focus on others.

I am reminded of an old saying of my mom’s: “Beauty is as beauty does.”

chyna's avatar

I seriously do not find this woman very attractive. And I do appreciate and look at beautiful women as well as men.
From what her old college face book friends say, she has always been that way

SuperMouse's avatar

Did she deserve the hatred spewed toward her? Probably not, but according to her follow-up she expected it and made the choice to put it out there anyway.

Maybe the issue people are having is that she really is fairly average looking. For a woman who looks like that to beg us all not to hate her because she is beautiful is rather incongruent and makes her come across as conceited. Well that and the 87 photos of her self she put in the article make her look conceited. Either way there really are larger burdens in this life then being given free drinks because you are good looking and this is a ridiculous bit of crap to put out there. I’ll bet dollars to donuts her human resource issues at work are more closely related to her attitude than to her beauty.

LuckyGuy's avatar

@anartist You asked “What are the stats on that?” I excerpted from the article but I actually looked at the study. The faces were rated on attractiveness by a panel and scored. Then they sent out 5000+ resumes for 2500+ jobs. Some of the resumes were essentially identical except for the attractiveness of the photo. The statistics were presented quite nicely. There was a difference but (IMO) not that much – and certainly not enough to justify complaining about being too attractive.

wundayatta's avatar

I don’t know whether there is an issue with her objective level of attractiveness. I think the problem is that she chose to talk about it, and in the way she spoke about it, she invited people to judge her, implicitly. Is she as good looking as she says she is? Because if she isn’t, then perhaps her complaints are aimed at the wrong target. Perhaps the reason she is treated the way she is is different from being purely about her looks.

This is not the first time I’ve heard such complaints. Many attractive women get conflicting messages about themselves. They wonder if they are liked for themselves or for their looks. They wonder if their brains are appreciated, or if guys only see their looks. They can have self-esteem problems as a result of good looks, ironically enough.

Another problem is the issue of modesty. Some of us are raised never to toot our own horns. If someone else wants to say we are good at this or that, fine, but we are not supposed to say it of ourselves. And here, she is right, I would guess, that America is different. In America, we are trained, these days, to constantly sell ourselves. For those of us raised to be modest, it is a difficult transition.

Perhaps in England the modesty contingent is more prevalent. If so, I can see that the English reaction would be much stronger than the US reaction. She would seem full of herself in England, but nothing out of the ordinary here in the US.

What interests me is the claims about other women. This is the exemplar of the notorious cattiness of women. I don’t see this cattiness, although I hear a number of women talking about it. Perhaps it is something that women don’t show in front of men. Or perhaps women interpret other women’s comments differently then men do. Women see cattiness where men see something less offensive.

Anyway, I think the response she is getting is probably more because of her attitude and not so much because of the point of story. The problem is, I don’t know if she can make her point without displaying an arrogant attitude.

Keep_on_running's avatar

I might’ve understood her point more if she was breathtakingly beautiful…

There is nothing wrong with confidence and high self-esteem, but when you lay it all out like that it’s just weird. You can’t use your perceived beauty to back up your arguments, because it is so subjective.

Haleth's avatar

It’s not her looks, it’s her attitude. Who says shit like that? That’s probably why she has problems with other women, too. I wouldn’t want to talk to anyone who goes on and on about their looks, whether it’s to brag or to whine about all the things that are wrong with them.

Blackberry's avatar

She definitely needs an attitude adjustment. She’s either a megalomaniac or a huge troll; either way she doesn’t deserve hate mail (I’ve always wondered who the people are that send hate mail, that’s just as immature).

She’s not very attractive to me, but there are people that look for a template that she has. For some people, just having blonde hair and white teeth is enough to be “beautiful”. That’s the sad part, when people say “hot blonde” as opposed to “she has a great smile and nice eyes” because they don’t really pay attention to all of the features, they’re just seeing a slim blonde woman and think “Oh yeah, they’re all supposed to be hot.”

OpryLeigh's avatar

I agree with what many people have already said that it’s most likely her attitude rather than the fact that she is attractive that is causing people to dislike her. I can’t help wondering how much of this is true. Really? A pilot on a flight bought her a bottle of champagne? Sounds like she got that from a film! Part of me thinks that this is one massive publicity stunt on hers and the Daily Mail’s part.

I know some incredibly stunning women (more attractive than her in my opinion) that don’t experience the type of hostility from other women of even the kind of positive attention from admirers that she claims to so I am thinking that a lot of it is her own paranoia/imagination.

I don’t want to jump on the “hater” bandwagon but it would seem that, whilst hate mail is not a great way to do it, this woman needs a dose of reality and I hope that she takes a look at her attitude and asks herself if it is really her looks that are causing other women to dislike her. I’m sure she isn’t the only attractive woman in her social circle so maybe she should take a look at how other women treat them and, if it’s any better than how she claims to be treated, there’s her answer!

OpryLeigh's avatar

This article has made me question the reason one of my best friends has asked me to be her bridesmaid later this month. Obviously it’s because I am unnattractive enough to not upstage the bride if there is any truth to this woman’s article!!!!

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

This would be an interesting discussion to have in a Sociality class.The only reason to post it in a newspaper is to increase circulation for the outrage factor.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Oh.My.God. I think the hate mail is hilarious, because she sees it as proof that she’s right about her beauty. Frankly, I don’t find her attractive at all. Her hair is stringy, her teeth are crooked, for someone who brags about her figure- she’s got a bigger tummy bulge than I do, she has a pig nose, her eyebrows are too thin, etc… I think Angelina Jolie is prettier than this woman, and Angelina looks like fucking Skeletor with fat lips.

I also think it’s hilarious that she believes her beauty is the reason other women dislike her, when it’s quite obvious that she is disliked because of her disgustingly vain attitude. The more I read of the article, the uglier she became, and the more it made me itch to slap the shit out of her and scream, “Wake up, you egotistical bitch!”

tranquilsea's avatar

This article is clearly written by someone who leads with her looks. She’s not, imho, ugly but she’s also not the prettiest women I’ve seen. Beauty is very subjective though. When you lead with your looks then you should be prepared for what comes at you…namely people judging your looks lol. It seems like she’s been doing this her whole life.

Throughout my life I’ve had the odd problem with people judging me based on my looks and not for who I am. For the most part I was able to gain those people’s acceptance and friendship over time as they got to know me. But I have never led with my looks.

I’ve always said that if one or two people have a problem with you then it may just be them. But if several people have a problem with you then it is probably you.

Sunny2's avatar

A still photo leaves out a large part of a person’s image. Add vivaciousness and she may be a stunner. Comments from college friends suggest a less attractive personality, but good looks (not great) can take you far. Arrogance can make people, who know you better, react negatively. I agree that this is a publicity stunt and she’ll be on TV interview shows next. It’ll be interesting to see how far it takes her. If she can cry easily, she could really milk it.

Keep_on_running's avatar

“If she can cry easily, she could really milk it.”


ninjacolin's avatar

seems like a lot of people are saying: Only arrogant, self-absorbed people attract this kind of hatred.

Aethelflaed's avatar

Apparently, she tweeted a few hours ago, “1.5 million viewed my article yesterday. Presumably 1 million jealous women and 500,000 men masturbating over my pictures”.

So, definitely a troll, and I’m really ok with not spending any energy feeling sorry for her.

Keep_on_running's avatar

@Aethelflaed That’s definitely some random who set up that fake Twitter account.

Blackberry's avatar

@Aethelflaed I would rather masturbate to a man.

Aethelflaed's avatar

@Keep_on_running Oh, really? Whoops.

@Blackberry Lol, as would I…

Zaku's avatar

I think most of the people who are complaining about the article, and most of the people who are saying she isn’t very attractive, are caught up in the type of thing she was writing about in the first place.

She is writing about an actual social phenomenon that people don’t like to admit, even though their objections to reading about it, tend to demonstrate exactly what she is talking about.

DominicX's avatar

I’d never even heard of her until this. Honestly, she’s obviously an attention whore and she’s getting the attention she wanted. I doubt she has much of a problem with the hate. She probably likes all the attention, negative and positive.

People like this are frustrating because no matter what you say, she’ll take it positively. If you tell her “you’re beautiful and smart” she’ll say “thank you” and if you tell her “you’re an ugly arrogant bitch”, she’ll say “thank you for proving my point” and she’ll just sit there smiling watching angry people foam at the mouth around her.

I can’t help but see some kind of positive in that kind of ability to withstand hatred.

Luiveton's avatar

I have nothing to say except she does not look as good as she thinks she does. What’s a mirror? Or lovely. Or whatever the hell she thinks she is. She is just normal, really.

CWOTUS's avatar

No, she doesn’t deserve “hatred”, but… if people want to mock her for her attitude or her article, she seems to have invited that. I don’t equate “mockery” with “hatred” (and I’m not about to wade through the responses to the article, any more than I was willing to wade through her entire article, either).

Personally, I think she has made some good points, although I think that her opinion of herself is, let’s just say “at odds” with most people’s perception of her looks (and attitude). I do see some of what she has mentioned among groups of women at times. There is a lot of cattiness and jealousy, though thankfully it’s nowhere near universal. Men are not immune either, by any means.

filmfann's avatar

I really think this is an April Fools joke taken far beyond the day.
Come on, she isn’t attractive. She looks like Katie Curick with Downs Syndrome.
She must realize this. Guys aren’t sending her bottles of bubbly. Guys are sending her paper bags.

ragingloli's avatar

I am pretty sure if she asked her insurance company, they would pay for her reconstructive surgery.

OpryLeigh's avatar

@Zaku I think her point would have been proven better if her article didn’t come across in such a conceited, arrogant manner. If she came across as a genuinely decent person who didn’t have such an inflated ego then I would take into consideration that some of these women were just jealous but seeing as she doesn’t come across as a lovely person then I can’t help but think she has mistaken a genuine dislike of her inner self as jealousy of her outer self.

Maybe if her inner self came across in a more positive light people would find her more outwardly attractive too.

tranquilsea's avatar

I’ve dealt with some situations she mentioned in her article. But I’ve always just shrugged them off. The one that comes to mind was a few years back when we were a largish group playing a board game. I was in a smaller sub-group with another woman and man. The gentlemen kept cracking joke after joke and made me laugh. Next thing I know his wife marches across the room, stands behind him and then drapes herself over his shoulders with a wicked look aimed at me. I caught my husbands eye and gave him a wink. It was pretty interesting to see.

The thing is being reasonably attractive is usually a bit of a bonus in life. I’ve spent my adult years getting people to understand that I have a brain behind this face. Thankfully, most people do understand that.

I’d much rather be known for my generosity, understanding, compassion, intelligence and humour than my looks.

As we’d (my sisters and I) say to one another: beauty fades: stupid is forever.

augustlan's avatar

I’m not going to debate her level of attractiveness, because that’s too subjective. Let’s assume she is, in fact, downright gorgeous. Good looks alone are not enough to make most people hate you *(see my experience, below). Most likely, she is projecting something besides her looks, and that is what makes her unlikable.There’s got to be a deeper problem with this woman, and her vanity and superior attitude are probably at the root of it. Did she deserve hatred? Probably not. A wake up call, and a bit of ridicule seems more appropriate.

* When I was younger, I was a very attractive girl (plus I had big boobs and red hair, which are both attention magnets on their own). I did experience some of what she talks about, both the positives (never having to pay for a drink or change a tire myself, etc.) and the negatives (girls being very possessive of their boyfriends in my presence, calling me a slut, etc.). The negative occasions were much rarer, and not in any way universal. Just a few insecure people, I figured. It never seemed to negatively affect me at work or anything like that, and most women were nothing but friendly to me. Four people asked me to be a bridesmaid or maid of honor, too! (It would honestly never enter my mind to pick bridesmaids based on their looks. That’s patently ridiculous.)

Dutchess_III's avatar

THAT was insane! She’s not that good looking! I was beautiful (still am…if the picture is a little blurred…“NO!! Don’t turn the lights up!!!” :) and I never had the “problems” that she had.

One thing that really stood out though…at the end of her post, and in the newspaper thing she scanned in in the second link, all of the comments were written in proper English, properly punctuated, spelled correctly, no text-speak. Have any of you seen anything like that EVER in the comments section of any article? Makes me wonder if it was all a set up and she spent months and months composing them herself in preparation for her “coming out” blog.

Berserker's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate I think Angelina Jolie is prettier than this woman, and Angelina looks like fucking Skeletor with fat lips.

That was fuckin funny lol. Skeletor lmao.

Erm, anyways. Well she was pretty much asking for it. One of the comments was someone saying that her article suggests that all women care about is their looks and shit. And it certainly seems to suggest that. This isn’t true at all, and I certainly find her article pretty shallow, regarding that. She must be damn self centered.
But if that really is what she’s experiencing, of course she has the right to express herself…however, I can’t help but to think that she’s just tooting her own horn. Some of that ’‘hate mail’’ is constructive and she should pay attention to it…well, she made a follow up, maybe I should go read it.

And anyways, what the fuck is wrong with people giving you free shit left and right lol? I wouldn’t whine about that, if that was me, haha.

But seriously, I can’t wait to get wrinkles? Yeah, alright.

mrrich724's avatar

@ragingloli your score of 7 is way too generous. When I read the article title, then scrolled down to see her picture, I had to glance up at the addy bar to make sure I wasn’t tricked into reading an Onion article.

But to answer the question, if she was flamed over it, I don’t think it was deserved. Let her do what she has to do to feel good about herself. Does anyone really care anyway?

Other than regarding this question, if I just passed by this article, I’da just been like “eh, LOL” and moved right along.

OpryLeigh's avatar

She was on breakfast TV today in order to defend herself but wasn’t given much sympathy. They had a female psychologist on with her who was (in my opinion) attractive (more so than Ms Brick) who said that she hadn’t experienced the hatred by other women that Samantha Brick claimed to have experienced and the female presenter said she was quite offended by the gross generalisations of women and that maybe the reason she was disliked by many was more to do with her air of superiority and opinion that everyone’s husbands fancied her over their own wives. Here is the link.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I still think she staged the whole thing, right down to the comments.

downtide's avatar

I think it’s her attitude that gets all the hate, not her looks.

Akua's avatar

She’ll end up like Octo-Mom. Hated but getting lots of press. Pathetic.

FutureMemory's avatar

This woman is delusional. Just look at those teeth! Has she never heard of a dentist?

Forget “beautiful”, she’s downright unattractive.

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