Social Question

ETpro's avatar

Should we require Secret Service agents to be eunuchs?

Asked by ETpro (34594points) April 20th, 2012

Ancient kings, queens, emperors and empresses knew that their survival depended on the honesty, trustworthiness and loyalty of their palace guards, and that terminal testosterone toxicity was a direct threat to their longevity. Hence, those who protected the ruler/s and their harem were all eunuchs. Stripped of any temptation of the flesh, their single focus was on serving their ruler and the royal court. Did the ancient rulers know something we’ve lost to political correctness today? What do you think of recruiting eunuchs to guard the first family?

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36 Answers

ragingloli's avatar

The only reason the keepers of harems were castrated was so that they could not impregnate the owner’s wives and fuck up the inheritance system by making it unclear who the father of the children is.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

terminal testosterone toxicity – bwahhhahah
oh man


Avangelo's avatar

I can’t even began to acknowledge this as a legitimate question. Well that would be a bad idea. I think that the concern for this whole case has received more attention that it needs. I don’t care how great any job pays, no one cuts off my nuts. In the end, it all depend on what type of person they are. If it wasn’t prostitution it could have been something else.

flutherother's avatar

They should be discreet.

Blackberry's avatar

No, everyone should experience a lovely Latin once in their lives.

rebbel's avatar

Let us publicly castrate the bastards :-)

GoldieAV16's avatar

I still don’t really get what all the fuss is about. The crime isn’t that they hooked up or scoped out Palin…the crime is that they got caught.

If you aren’t smart enough to keep your indiscretions under the radar, you’re gonna have to pay the price (your job) (or an impeachment).

I don’t know why we’re so sexually repressed in this country. In France this wouldn’t even get mentioned. Heck, it would probably be expected and applauded.

SpatzieLover's avatar

Plain & simply: no.

Brian1946's avatar


What we should do is require that they engage in fair business practices with the pubelick professionals of the host country. ;-)

filmfann's avatar

A lot of them do suffer from Testosterone Poisoning. Perhaps medical science can find an antidote.

King_Pariah's avatar

Hmmm… let’s look at China, a significant reason for the collapse of quite a few of the Dynasties lay with the eunuchs. So…. No.

Pandora's avatar

No, but they don’t need to be horn dogs everytime they go to another country. They are suppose to be above reproach. Plus hiring prostitues is still illegal. Doesn’t matter if the law in another country is different says different. They are still bound to uphold our laws outside of our country.
What if one of these women decide to say she was forced? They don’t only open up themselves to possible jail time or a lawsuit they also open the United States up for a lawsuit. Or worse yet, the other country can have soured relationship with us because of an incident they caused. They knew what they were doing was not only illegal but a risk to their jobs.
They couldn’t wait to go on their own private vacation and then go bang who ever they want? No one has ever died from not getting together with a hooker. However the same can’t be said in the reverse.
Not to mention. How stupid were they to argue the bill when it could cost them the job. It would’ve been smarter to pay the 800 dollars and take it as a lesson learned than to only pay the 200 and end up on the unemployment line and humiliate their families.

marinelife's avatar

Good grief, no. I think we can expect our secret service agents to keep their pants zipped on business trips. Don’t you?

lillycoyote's avatar

I had composed a different answer but then @marinelife suggested maybe these guys could just keep their pants zipped. Give a try guys; presidents and other office holders included, just try to maybe keep your pants zipped while you are conducting the nation’s business.

As John Hiatt put it:

This two headed monster is so distasteful
Forgive me when my instincts start stinkin’
I’m just so easily led when the little head does the thinking

Keep it zipped, O.K.? You can do it. Powerful men and tough men, tough; macho guys shouldn’t be so weak that they are completely helpless and totally at the mercy of their “little heads.”

Michael_Huntington's avatar

DEA agents, too.

ro_in_motion's avatar

I mentioned this in another thread. You do not want the Secret Service putting themselves into a blackmail situation. Using prostitutes to compromise people is a time-honoured tradition in politics.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

Psychology already offers numerous assessment techniques that can be applied to eliminate potential candidates with poor judgment and impulse control.

ETpro's avatar

@ragingloli We don’t have a national harem?

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Thanks. :-)

@Avangelo Well true. A eunuch might not enjoy a BJ but might score some blow and do a lousy job after snorting it.

@flutherother You’d think they would have known that.

@Blackberry I’ve got the tee shirt. You’re 100% right.

@rebbel I’m guessing you might like to be the surgeon. :-)

@GoldieAV16 Americans got no, how do zey say, ”Savoir faire.”

@SpatzieLover Thanks.

@Brian1946 True. If it hadn’t been for the payment dispute, we’d never have been the wiser. That says something about the ethical standards of Colombian men versus American men. Have you ever tried to get services before payment from an American hooker?

@filmfann Herein lies the medical challenge. “See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.” —Robin Williams

@King_Pariah Yes, they did go through a few regime changes, didn’t they?

@Pandora That thought hit me too. Of course, after a long night of heavy drinking, even normally reserved, careful critters are mental mush. And they there is what I pointed out to @filmfann above.

@marinelife I think this tells us two things.
1—We do expect that.
2—They don’t meet that expectation.

@lillycoyote Yep. Before the little head takes over, they should do the thinking with the main CPU.

@Michael_Huntington They have done even worse things. Providing drugs to attractive targets of investigations in return for sexual favors and immunity from arrest.

@ro_in_motion All joking aside, that is very true.

@Dr_Lawrence And we don’t apply these to a job as mission critical as the Secret Service?

woodcutter's avatar

Yeah I can see the applicants lining up in droves to get that gig.

ETpro's avatar

@woodcutter You’ve got a point. Michael Jackson as a Secret Service Agent.

lillycoyote's avatar

@ETpro “Chemical castration” for the duration of the job might be a reasonable compromise. I think there are side effects, including weight gain, but it’s basically reversible, upon cessation of treatment, though my understanding is that chemical castration can result in permanent physical damage, including irreversible loss of bone density, I believe. But what the hell? It something to consider. :-)

woodcutter's avatar

M J was a eunuch? damn Maybe then they would dress sharper

Jenniehowell's avatar

@ETpro I say no to the eunuch idea – youch!! I think if they can’t act right then they need to be fired. But if we go with that rule this time around there’d be a lot of SS guys without a job considering the wrecks, getting the car stuck, running over pedestrians and the hookers.

@lillycoyote I think the president has a tuff job and should enjoy a “treat” now and then. There just needs to be a change of clothes handy and the pres needs to be the one to send any clothes off to the cleaners so he/she can be sure DNA is removed. (of course, perhaps I’m thinking ahead to when I run for office – it would be just my luck that all the fun stops just when I get voted in)

lillycoyote's avatar

Yes, I know we are a sexually repressed and puritanical country, but that is the way it is. That is not going to change any time soon, I don’t think. While on the one hand, I have to say, as a matter of principal, that the crime is never “getting caught,” it is always the crime or behavior that is the issue; but that being said, if only all these guys could be discreet. But apparently their brains aren’t any bigger than their dicks and they can’t seem to manage to do these things discreetly. I suppose if all these guys want to risk their careers, that is their business, but we live in the country we live in, and these scandals waste everyone’s time and money and distract from the very real and important things that need to be done here.

Pandora's avatar

@ETpro They shouldn’t be drinking so much that their minds would become mental mush. They are suppose to be on duty and alert at all times. Know their surroundings and possibly what the President can walk into. Whether he is present or not they are not suppose to make themselves vunerable. So their first mistake was getting drunk. You know they hired those hookers way before they were really drunk. As @lillycoyote put it. The little head was doing all the talking.

lillycoyote's avatar

@Pandora That is it exactly. They have a job to do. An important job. Secret Service agents are not bar bouncers. They should be and need to be held to a higher standard. Simple as that.

Ron_C's avatar

No, secret service men should not be eunuchs but they should be intelligent. You would thing that if you were assigned to protect the president in a country known for drug gangs and official corruption, you would be more careful during your off hours. What they did, however was not against the law but it was very detrimental to the president’s security. I’ve had high security clearances before and knew that I had to be more careful than the average citizen. Those guys were just plain stupid and should be fired not for moral reasons but because they are too stupid for their positions.

ETpro's avatar

@lillycoyote As I noted above, Robin Williams explained it thus, “See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”

lillycoyote's avatar

@ETpro LOL. And therein lies the problem, the crux of the matter, doesn’t it? And yet the world has somehow, at some point, decided that men are best suited to run things? How the hell did that happen? That seems kind of irrational. To have set things up, at some point, so that men, who can either think with their minds or their penises, and there seems no guaranteeing when they might be willing or able to choose one over the other, are pretty allowed to run the world. How the hell did that happen, do you think?

ro_in_motion's avatar

Seriously, what scares the bejeebus out of me is the institutional appearance of this. Some 20 people, given incredibly tight security clearances, are out en masse picking up either women or prostitutes (there is some doubt about this).

Given the numbers involved, I wonder just how pervasive this is. I read one article which cited a ‘motto’: “When the wheels go up, the rings come off”.

Again, Iam not anti-sex. What disturbs me is the security implications: this is the oldest trick in ‘turning’ people.

ETpro's avatar

@lillycoyote & @ro_in_motion I share your consternation. But I also know that a clit is smaller than a penis, and it can demand enough blood to shut down higher order thinking as well.

lillycoyote's avatar

@ETpro That may very well be true, but still, I have some difficulty imagining Hillary Clinton, or Nancy Pelosi, or Madeleine Albright or Condeleeza Rice, for example, were any of them to become president of the United States, getting “serviced” in the Oval Office by a White House intern. Maybe that is just sexist of me; but I have trouble believing that it would happen. A good number of men are simpy dogs and hogs. Just admit it and be done with it. :-)

ro_in_motion's avatar

@ETpro Point taken, but I think men and women – by the nature of their hormones, evolution and current culture – express their needs in entirely different ways.

Ron_C's avatar

@ro_in_motion as one that experienced the deep inquiries involved in high security clearances, it becomes immediately obvious how you must conduct yourself to maintain that clearance. Someone described the Secret Service as a “wheels up, rings off” organization. If that is the case, I don’t see how they maintained security for all of these years. What the people in Columbia did was violate the most basic rules for a security contingent. I cannot understand how they could believe what they were doing was right.

ro_in_motion's avatar

@Ron_C We are in absolute agreement. That whole command tree needs to be entirely reevaluated as it seems to be institutional.

ETpro's avatar

@lillycoyote, @ro_in_motion & @Ron_C No argument on any of thise statements.

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