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athenasgriffin's avatar

What is a polite way to ask the guy I'm dating to wear less cologne?

Asked by athenasgriffin (5969points) June 27th, 2012

The guy I’m dating is excellent in so many ways, but I find his cologne to be less than enjoyable. When I’m around him I don’t tend to notice it much, but it wears off on me.

However, I would never want to offend him. If he told me that he wished I wore less make up, or changed my hair, I would be unhappy. Should I ignore it?

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17 Answers

chyna's avatar

How about trying a small white lie? Something like “I love your cologne, however, my sinuses do not. Can you not wear it when we are out? I don’t want to hurt your feelings, it’s just that my sinuses go crazy when you wear it.”

augustlan's avatar

What @chyna said. :)

jca's avatar

You could buy him some cologne that you like, and tell him you want to put it on him. Take a baby wipe, wipe his cologne off, put just a bit of your cologne on him, smell him appreciatively and say “Mmmmmm.” Tell him that you think it smells really good, and just a small bit is enough. Hopefully he starts wearing the one you chose, and just a small bit at a time, like you suggest.

nikipedia's avatar

Similar to @chyna, I would make it about you—you could say that you can be very sensitive to smells and his cologne is quite potent, so if he wouldn’t mind, you’d like to smell him just the way he is, or help him pick out something a bit milder.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

You could say you like the smell of his cologne but that it’s better for winter season and that summer requires a lighter one.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Some guys do get the less is more rule. Tell him you like subtle and see what he says. If he needs more info, slather yourself with perfume and kiss him. If he doesn’t get the point he’s brain dead.

Elm1969's avatar

How about simply saying “I don’t think you need so much calonge you put too much on its over powering” .

Or accept it, he probably wore too much when you met him but it didn’t seem so important to you then.

wundayatta's avatar

I’m very sensitive to smells. I’ve found that women I ask not to wear perfume around me seem to understand this and don’t take it too personally.

In truth, women seem pretty sensitive about smells. At work, I have had only one client who was a smell problem. He was a “man” and he was wearing so much cologne I nearly gagged. You think it’s hard being a woman asking a man to stop wearing cologne—try being a man!

I really don’t get it. I don’t understand who thinks cologne smells good. It gives me headaches. Which is something I will say if it comes down to it. But I’ve never really liked a perfume wearing woman, so it’s never been an issue.

My wife used to like to burn incense, but she stopped that for me, too. It makes me wonder if there are “smellers” the same as there are “tasters,” people with more tastbuds per square inch than other people. Well, whether or not there are, you could tell him that you think you are a “Smeller” and that smells affect you more powerfully than most people, and you would very much appreciate it if he could leave the cologne at home when he sees you.

Here’s another thing. If he likes you, it shouldn’t be a problem. If it is a problem, then do you really like him that much? Can you really imagine being in a relationship with someone you can’t talk to about personal habits?

marinelife's avatar

I would just stop dating him.

Coloma's avatar

Yes, I’d be honest and simply say that his cologne is a bit much for you.
It is nothing “personal” and, more importantly it will be a good test to see if he is emotionally mature and able to hear you without taking your request as a personal criticism. Same goes for you in the reverse situation. If the guy feels you wear too much makeup to suit his taste it is, again, not personal, but it IS a test to see if you two can resolve issues of personal preference without becoming childish and insulted.

chyna's avatar

This reminds me of a guy I used to work with that just poured cologne on. It was back in the day when every guy in the US was wearing Polo. People would make comments about it like “did you spill your cologne” or “did you mean to wear that much cologne”. He didn’t take the hint. One day he came in reeking of it and I said a little loudly “OMG did you bathe in it this morning?” (We were good friends.) Everyone stood up and clapped. He stopped wearing it.

Coloma's avatar

@chyna LOL sounds like something I’d say when I reached critical mass with anothers density. haha

KNOWITALL's avatar

Buy him a new one that you enjoy, done and done.

Coloma's avatar

Hey…bonus points @KNOWITALL Heh….welcome knowitall, good problem solving ability there, a win/win. lol

athenasgriffin's avatar

Thank you all so much for your answers! I think I’m going to tell him I’m sensitive to smells and that for some reason his cologne is bothering me, like @chyna and @nikipedia suggested. I think he’ll probably understand, and if not then I’ll have to think about the things that @wundayatta and @Coloma brought up.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Ask if it’s a cologne or scented antiperspirant/deodorant then tell him you like the way he smells even though you’re very sensitive. If he’s an attentive sort, he’ll tone it down and not be offended.

roundsquare's avatar

Be honest with him. If he can’t take you not liking his cologne, you’re in trouble. He won’t be able to take any criticism well at all. (Unless, of course, he is for some reason extra sensitive about the cologne).

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