Social Question

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

Divorced people: What do you think of the people your ex is dating?

Asked by Imadethisupwithnoforethought (14669points) June 30th, 2012

Feel free to answer if you have been in a super long term relationship that did not turn into marriage

Do you have positive or negative feelings towards them?

Are you glad your ex has somebody?

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19 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

My ex-husband has been with his ice queen (and what the French call his “sembable”) for 16 years. They are a perfect fit; their favorite activity is attending or chairing directors’ meetings of charitable foundations and private schools. I am thrilled that he goes home to her at night and not me.

Bellatrix's avatar

I cared initially because things were very raw. I quickly realised as long as they were decent to my children, it wasn’t my business. I’m glad he has someone else. I have noticed over the years when he is happy with someone, he gives me much less grief.

Adagio's avatar

I get on very well with my ex-husband, I wish him all the happiness he can find we’ve been apart for 23 years but when you have a child together your lives always cross, I really recommend working through to a position of being totally comfortable with ex-partners and their new partners

Sunny2's avatar

I had broken it off with a man I loved, but he obviously didn’t love me. Several month later I saw him walking down the street with a very attractive red head. He was obviously smitten with her and I had to laugh because Jon was in love! I felt very happy for him. I got a birth announcement of their first baby. I’ve no idea if there were more. They’ve been married over 50 years. I’m still happy for him.

gorillapaws's avatar

A girl I dated for many years just got married. I loved her, but knew we just didn’t work together and so I broke it off, (this was like 4 or 5 years ago). I’m really happy she found someone to share her life with. I hope they have a wonderful life together.

Bellatrix's avatar

Strange ‘related’ questions to this social question.

“What is it like being in a coma?”
“Do you get a flu shot?”

Not sure how these things relate to exes but it made me laugh!

bookish1's avatar

@Bellatrix: I guess that had to do with the tags @Imadethisupwithnoforethought put on their question. “Better you than me,” lol.

cazzie's avatar

I don’t know much about the current one. There have been several. The one I think he is with now he has been with for a while. I think she has a degree in marketing but works as some sort of fitness instructor and is over 10 years his junior and held some sort of Miss ‘local beauty pageant’ title. (I could be confusing a few and taking info I have learned from several and applying it to this one, I am not sure.)

He has been censured and is under investigation for some mismanagement or over agressive accounting decisions. The accounting practice he and I set up together is gone and I have no idea what is going to happen to him. Better her than me.

SuperMouse's avatar

This is a complicated question for me. I want my ex to find and cherish his true love for the rest of his life. As @Bellatrix mentioned, when he is dating he makes much less trouble for me. That being said, he has had no fewer than four girlfriends in the last year or so. The fact that he seems to have a revolving door of women in my kids’ lives is troubling to me. If anyone saw fit to stay with him for the long term, as long as they are good to the kids, I would be very happy for him..

marinelife's avatar

Why would I care? As long as he is not bothering me.

linguaphile's avatar

Our divorce is pretty recent and the ex has only been flirting with other women—hasn’t been in a relationship yet. The first time I saw it, it was the day we signed the paper and he flirted with her in front of me a few times. I laughed—it didn’t bother me.

I will be thrilled when he finds someone. However, what concerns me is what kind of woman he ends up with, in terms of how she treats my daughter.

elbanditoroso's avatar

After me, my ex-wife dated (and married) a couple of other guys. Each of those guys is now divorced from her. (She is on husband #4 now).

After #2 and #3 left, each of them came to me and said “How could you have been married to her in the first place?” and “Was she as crazy with you as she is with us?”. Totally predictable, and I laughed at them.

Each of these guys was a decent person, and none of them were jerks. But I certainly wasn’t going to clue them in on what to expect. But the outcome was totally predictable.

Bottom line, in the case of my ex wife – all men are temporary ego-boosters for her. Emphasis on “temporary”.

SuperMouse's avatar

@linguaphile I totally agree with you, the only real concern I have about a new long term lady in my ex’s life is how that person will treat my kids. If it wasn’t for that I would agree wholeheartedly with @marinelife and would not care one iota.

josie's avatar

I met him. The poor guy has no clue what he is getting himself into. Since our divorce, my ex has had two live-ins that bolted and one fiance who DOR’ed.
I certainly wish no ill will on my ex wife, and I hope she finds happiness in this world. But my ex wife really does not want a partner, she wants a valet. That may be tough to find. On the other hand, I was naive enough not to see that, so I guess it may be true that there is a sucker born every minute.

Trillian's avatar

I have no feelings whatsoever. Well, I think the one might be kinda stupid if my ex husband can make her jealous of me with pictures that are from twenty years ago, but that’s beside the point.
I really don’t spend any time thinking of spend any time thinking about it at all. I have a piece of paper signed by a judge that says I don’t have to talk to him. ;-)

wundayatta's avatar

I had three exes from long term relationships. I did not have children with any of these women. The only one I really was interested in after we broke up was the first one. That was devastating, but she seemed to have many boyfriends before finally settling down with someone. The person she settled down with was so different from me, that it seemed to indicate she had become a very different person. Either that, or I never really knew her.

But since we never had children, none of these exes really stayed in touch, and so they no longer affected me in any real time way. It was only in my memories that they played a role.

zensky's avatar

Not much.

flutherother's avatar

I have no idea and I don’t care to know. If she is happy I will be pleased but I am not curious.

josrific's avatar

I would give almost anything to have my ex dating someone else. I want her to fall out of the sky like an angel into his arms so that he’ll leave me ALONE!

I’ve been re-married 9 years now and he still tries to flirt with me, ask me to dinner, and be downright inappropriate towards me. We have children together so we have to talk but I REALLY wish someone would go his way and he’ll be smitten and all his desires will be fulfilled.

SHEESH!

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