Social Question

tups's avatar

How do you befriend new people quickly?

Asked by tups (6719points) July 3rd, 2012

I’m going to a festival with my friend and three other friends of hers whom I don’t know. I don’t know how good I am at befriending people quickly, but that would be really nice in this case. They all know each other and I am the “outsider” so to speak. How do I become the “insider” and befriend new people quickly? What do you normally do?

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12 Answers

mattbrowne's avatar

Be curious. Be genuinely interested in people. Ask them questions. Tell them about yourself. Smile. Be friendly.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I try to ask questions that will spur people to talk about themselves. I then use the information to identify how I might be similar or bring up quirky differences. For me, the trick is in the conversation.

In any event, I’m diplomatically honest. I say it that way, because I am a bit guarded when I’m with complete strangers. While I want to make friends, I do want to feel my way into the arrangement.

When it comes to making friends fast, I think it might have more to do with positive reinforcement of what they reveal to you through conversation and actions. For lasting friends, it’s in desiring their good more than my own.

JLeslie's avatar

Smile, create conversation, say something funny, be interested in what they have to say.

ucme's avatar

Be yourself, if they don’t like you….fuck em!

Trillian's avatar

I don’t. I’m working on it, but I’ve never been good at asking people questions. I was raised to mind my own business, and I always feel intrusive asking questions.

fremen_warrior's avatar

By all means what @ucme said (however cliched this may sound): Be yourself. No matter what. I’ve come to realize over the years that trying to please people gets you nowhere.

First and foremost respect yourself. If you don’t feel like getting to know these people by all means don’t say a word. If you feel like you’d like to get to know them, just talk, ask questions, listen, try and be respectful at first. Gauge your attitude based on the responses you get.

Just remember that making new friends should never be done at the cost of losing who you are.

janbb's avatar

Try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Some of the people I feel closest to are quite quiet but they have a quality of being attentive to others. Don’t push yourself to be bubbly if that is not your style, but be aware of others and try to enjoy the festival. You will naturally have things to react to and talk about as the music and the festival goes on. You can be part of the gang even if your demeanor is on the quiet side. And you will have your one good friend there.

marinelife's avatar

Relax a little bit. You will know your friend. So just focus on enjoying the experience.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Small talk…gossip…compliments. People are simple. And they don’t often want a deep engagement with anyone new. I find it very annoying.

Paradox25's avatar

Unfortunately there is no ‘friendship formula’ out there, despite what many self help ‘experts’ tell you. Just be yourself, and be brief about things relating to yourself, while showing a genuine interest in what they have to say. There is no guarantee that this will work with all people, and many others can decide that they just don’t like you for whatever reasons. Generally what I’ve said above, along with being personable, is the way to go. Don’t overdo yourself.

athenasgriffin's avatar

While being yourself is good advice for forging long term friendships, it isn’t always the best idea for people who you do not know and will be spending concentrated amounts of time with immediately. Be yourself if you are the type of person who people generally feel positive or neutral about. If you have the type of personality that induces extreme reactions, then mayhaps it might be best to censor yourself for the good of the festival. But never be desperate. The real reason people say to be yourself is that being anyone else can feel desperate, which is a quick way to induce vomiting.

So, like everyone else said ask them about their lives( nothing too personal) even if you don,t care. Tell funny/ interesting stories. Smell nice.

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