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_Whitetigress's avatar

What was it like to quit your dream?

Asked by _Whitetigress (4372points) August 3rd, 2012

Some people as kids growing up dream about being one thing but end up another as an adult.

What dream did you give up or put aside and how did it make you feel?

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10 Answers

Shippy's avatar

I had so many dreams, and I wanted to become a psychologist. Because of money and circumstance it didn’t work out. I got as far as my majors and quit. How do I feel? Constantly frustrated and unrealized. I never reached my full potential and it bugs me to this day. But life had other plans for me, and that is the problem when you follow “life” and not your heart. But it isn’t over “until the fat lady sings!”

filmfann's avatar

My wife and I were looking at retirement houses, and we found one that was perfect for an item I wanted to buy (which will remain nameless here). Instead, we bought a different house, which is wonderful, but doesn’t have the room for that item. I abandoned my attempts at getting it because of that.
This item was a lifetime desire. When I told people about it, they all thought it was excessively weird, but knew it was perfect for me, and matched my character.
Giving that up was hard, and I still think about it, but I recognize it would no longer fit in my life.
Yes, it hurt giving up a lifetime dream, but I have moved on.

Sunny2's avatar

It felt like reality. I wanted to be able to ski very well. After 10 years at it, I was still mostly on the bunny hill. My clothes looked like I was an old pro and I either had to put more time into it and buy newer clothes or give it up. I didn’t have the money to invest, so I gave it up. Later i realized that I’m someone who doesn’t like to lose my balance physically or mentally. In skiing, you’re supposed to lean into the down slope. I’d let my upper body do that, but my rear end said, “No you don’t!” and tried to put me back in balance every time by sticking out. I got back on skiis one more time many years later to introduce my kids to skiing. I spent the entire day trying to undo everything I’d been taught about where my shoulders should go. Everything I’d learned had changed. Now, I just enjoy my memories.

Mariah's avatar

It feels okay. I had these lofty goals of being a physics Ph. D and working for NASA. With a lot of introspection I have realized that I had that goal half because I actually wanted to do that, and half as justification for my compulsive perfectionism. I’ve always been compelled to achieve whether I had a reason or not; the high goals just provided rationalization for that unhealthy way of thinking.

And it was unhealthy. My (extensive) health problems have always been aggravated by stress, so being so type A was not good for me at all. For the sake of my physical health as well as my mental health, I have learned to chill out. This meant setting more realistic goals that would no longer enable my compulsive behavior. I’m now a computer science major; it’s not my passion, but I enjoy it, it comes easily to me, and it’s employable even just as a Bachelor’s.

In a way, the future isn’t as fun to think about anymore. But the trade-off is that the short term is a lot happier and more relaxing, which I needed. I’ve always been a forward-thinker to the point that I would sacrifice current happiness in exchange for predicted future happiness, and honestly, I would have probably continued that forever – the future never comes. This change has restored a little balance in that regard. And this’ll sound all armchair psychologist, but I think I always behaved that way because my present is often marred by my health problems. I’m always hoping the future will be better.

I hope I don’t regret it down the road. I love learning so much that I have a hard time imagining I’ll never go back to school. I might study physics yet.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

It felt like walking out in public naked on my worst body image day and botching a suicide. I felt a death of self for awhile and had no idea what I wanted to do else and wondered if it was even worth pursuing. What a horrible time to discover what a fragile ego I had. It was worse than getting divorced, worse than being cheated on, worse than being fat, worse than getting old,.

fremen_warrior's avatar

As long as I am able bodied, and lucid, my dream of becoming a millionaire astronaut playboy genius is alive and kicking… mostly kicking me in the teeth, but that’s life for ya ;-)

syz's avatar

It happened 15 years ago when I walked away from my dream job and I’m still bitter.

AngryWhiteMale's avatar

I gave up most of my dreams within the last few years. Like some of the others, I’m quite bitter at times about this, but I also realized that to move forward, I needed to create new dreams, dreams that are different from the ones I had. These dreams may be more modest, but they’re also more realistic for the amount of time I have left in my life. As long as I have a goal/dream, I’ll be fine.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@AngryWhiteMale: It’s true, you’ll likely come to have a new appreciation for things you once overlooked as average, normal, not so hot stuff. It happened for me and now I can’t believe how rough it all seemed at first.

laurenkem's avatar

I gave up on any and all dreams I ever had. I’m done.

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