General Question

gailcalled's avatar

Why has Milo chosen to sleep with my daughter while she is here?

Asked by gailcalled (54570points) June 5th, 2008

I buried dead birds, I took him to the ER twice, I administered meds (w. your help),I emptied the litter box,I was at his beck and call. (He is her cat, btw.)

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26 Answers

NeroCorvo's avatar

maybe it was because you took him to the ER :) or that instead of appreciating the gifts he had given, you wasted them by burying them.

mcbealer's avatar

dunno… how old is your daughter? Maybe he remembers her ownership vibe?

He might just be keeping an extra eye on her for you, a self-appointed security guard if you will. Cats are very smart, and if he knows she’s only staying a short while he might be reacting this way since he knows you’re not alert while you’re asleep.

shrubbery's avatar

Well, if he is your daughter’s cat, but is living with you, and she doesn’t live with you, maybe he thinks “Well I can sleep with Gail any time, I might as well take advantage of the time that my owner is here and spend that time with her instead”

MisterBlueSky85's avatar

I disagree that cats are very smart. Ever see one chase a laser pointer?

Cats are weird and do weird things. Don’t be offended if Milo chooses to sleep somewhere else for a little while. If you’d like to be closer to your cat, try doing the fun things with it more often, like I’m sure your daughter does. You may give her some good competition.

shrubbery's avatar

Well I disagree with you MisterBlueSky. My cats are very intelligent and actually understand human speak. I am not crazy, I am being fully serious. You say “Get down off the table Tattiana” to my cat, and she will. You hold your finger up in a guesture that says “wait a minute” she will sit down and wait patiently for you to finish what you were doing. My mum said “Get down off there” to something else, but my cat thought she was talking to her so hopped down off my bed, then my mum laughed and said “No not you Tatty” so she hopped right back up onto the bed. What do you think of that then? Sorry to be off topic Gail.

gailcalled's avatar

Daughter is in early 40s, adopted Milo from a shelter in 2003. I said that I was at his beck and call – including play, walkies, endlessly throwing a foam rubber hair curler for him to attack, dandling endless pieces of dental floss, stroking (just picked a tick off him). However, I was treating him as tho he were a 8 week old baby; my daughter is very assertive, manhandles him with abandon and does the unpleasant things firmly and rapidly.

@mcbealer; what do you mean by “paying and not stating”?

wildflower's avatar

Same happens when I visit my mum. Both the cat and dog want to sleep in the guest room with me. My theory is that they’re comfortable knowing my mum is their human but I need to be won over. Although it could also be novelty value; since I’m not always around them, I give them more attention when I am.

melly6708's avatar

well if its HER cat then maybe he misses her.. i have a dog of my own but she loves my mom more then me. haha

MisterBlueSky85's avatar

@shrubbery, if you’d like me to guess why your cat seems to understand what people sometimes say, I suppose I can. Cats learn mostly by imitation and observation. Your cat picks up cues from your body language and tone of voice and learns from the positive outcomes (not positive reinforcement). It also probably guesses what you’re talking about from past experiences of you telling it to get on or off the table. I’m sure, however, your cat doesn’t understand “human speak.” I’m not saying cats are dumb creatures – they’re probably in the top 20 smartest species. Cats are adaptive and they can learn to survive in different situations very quickly. But are they “very smart”? The cats I’ve come across can’t find they’re way out of a grocery bag without help. * rolls eyes *

Gailcalled, I’m guessing Milo just likes the new company, and perhaps is trying to convince your daughter to stay.

shrubbery's avatar

Yes, I do understand what you are saying and we do often tell her to get off the table and probably use the same stern voice, but what about the time when she was on the bed? Mum wasn’t using the same voice and she even laughed so this would not be something the cat would be used to, yet she seemed to understand anyway.
But yes, I kind of forgot about my other cat, which seems to have an imaginary cone around it’s head all the time :P

MrKnowItAll's avatar

Perhaps he is in love with her.

mcbealer's avatar

@ gailcalled ~ sorry, you must have caught a pre-edit glimpse

elchoopanebre's avatar

Because cats don’t have owners- they have staff.

DeezerQueue's avatar

A lot of times when my son comes to visit the cats will lodge with him, as well. It’s almost like it’s something special, “Ooooh, look at me! I’m sleeping with someone new and you’re not! Gna gna gna gna gna gna. You wish you were me, don’t you?”

Trustinglife's avatar

I love cats but don’t have one now, and Gail, I’m sure I’d feel the same as you if I were in your shoes.

Cats can be fickle and are only cuddly and loyal when they want to be. I wonder what is it in us that takes it personally where the cat sleeps?

Seesul's avatar

It’s a little bit of nearly everything mentioned above, (one exception, but I think that’s a separate discussion). The feline residents of this house have all done the same thing. The current HRH, can be soaking up all the attention that I can possibly give her, the key goes into the front door lock and she jets down to my son. (Aside: if the bell rings or there is a knock, she hides).

Don’t be hurt or offended, or take it personally. Just bury your feelings and forgive Milo when once again, you are alone together. Try to think of it from Milo’s perspective. I was abandoned, adopted, then thought I lost that person forever, but somehow, she’s back, and I’m going to take advantage of it.

Oh, and cats are like heat seeking missiles. They go for the warmer spots. Your daughter may be warmer than you. It might be as simple as that.

PS Cats play with laser pointers to entertain their humans, or at least what MY cat told me. I read this post to her and she thinks DQ has most likely the best theory.

DeezerQueue's avatar

I didn’t realize gailcalled was offended, are you offended or just wondering why it’s happening?

Seesul's avatar

I was working off “abandoned & betrayed”, so I suppose I read offended into that. I just didn’t want gail to worry or take it personally.

nocountry2's avatar

I believe that sometimes animals are “needed” by people at different times than others, and that they can sense when they are needed. Perhaps this is the case with your daughter right now – while you might feel a bit jealous of the attention, take comfort in her comfort, and in the wisdom of your animals.

susanc's avatar

gail, your daughter is his mother. You’re his grandmother. He’s glad to see his mom.
He loves you both but she’s special. Let us know if his behavior changes IN ANY WAY.
We must analyze as a collective.

breedmitch's avatar

I lurve that you’re jealous. I just knew we’d make a “cat person” of you. :)
Seesul and SusanC have it right. He’s happy to see his momma.

My parents inherited my “college cat” when I moved to New York. She lasted another eleven years with them sitting on my father’s lap every night. Whenever I visited, however, she spent all her time following at my heels. She was also the type to hide from company, but as soon as I entered the house she was right there vocalizing to me as if to say, “Where the hell have you been?” I think Milo is just happy to reconnect with someone from his happy past. Not that his present is unhappy.

Seesul's avatar

@breedmitch: How funny, our last favored my son as well, in fact he was hers (a b’day gift at 7). She passed away this time last year at 18. She rarely said anything, but had a distinct and large vocabulary when she did. If I did not leave to pick him up from school on time, I got chewed out and if he wasn’t home and at a friend’s house overnight, I swear she would yowl “What the hell did you do with the kid”? The first time she did it, I thought she was dying.

gailcalled's avatar

Not offended; using hyperbole to indicate my annoyance only at Milo; never at you, my best-beloved cat handlers and advice-givers.

Update; my daughter pulled down the driveway in her car at supper time, on her way to Providence. Within ten minutes, Milo was in my lap, purring and stroking me – he is just a Lothario, I guess.

I loved the line from Elchoop: cats don’t have owners- they have staff. That goes into my Hall of Fame.

DeezerQueue's avatar

I didn’t think you were offended by Milo. I know when I first experienced it I was a mildly annoyed as well. But then seeing the cats repeat the behavior made me realize that they’re just inclined to want to hang out with the new, yet familiar.

syz's avatar

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
Terry Pratchett

MissAnthrope's avatar

Cats are weird. When I had my first girlfriend sleep over for the first time, my cat spent the entire night sleeping on top of her, a completely random behavior she never did with me, nor ever repeated after that. She often didn’t spend the whole night sleeping inside, she’d go out for hours, come back for a bit, etc. The only thing I can think is that the GF was sleeping on the kitty’s side of the bed, or maybe territorial? I dunno. It was weird.

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