Social Question

Shippy's avatar

Would you do "this" if you were never found out?

Asked by Shippy (9870points) November 24th, 2012

OK, so this is in part a fantasy question. Reminds me of a book I read cannot recall the title where some friends found a suitcase filled with a million bucks. Should they take it? Should they not? But that is not the question.

If you had the chance to “have an affair” or a brief encounter with the most delicious person you know, or have met already, and not be found out, would you?

If you decide not to, why? It’s not like you will be found out.

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36 Answers

marinelife's avatar

I would know that I had violated my code of faithfulness. I would have cheated.

Aethelwine's avatar

No, because my husband is the most delicious person I know.

wildpotato's avatar

If I met someone I wanted to be with, sure. I have not encountered anyone else I want to be with, particularly, in the eight years since I’ve been with my fiance – but if I did, I don’t see any reason not to. As long as I did tell my partner, that is – I would never keep something like that from him. I think the only problem with sleeping around (as long as it is done responsibly, of course) is lying about it.

tups's avatar

Yeah I think so, why not?

ZEPHYRA's avatar

No, it would be going against everything I believe in. I would be disappointed with myself at some point and end up living in regret.

hearkat's avatar

I’m with @marinelife on this… I’d know, and my conscience is really the only person I have to answer to. Besides, at this point in life, I’ve had enough fun and adventures to have learned that sometimes the reality doesn’t live up to the fantasy – especially on sexual terms. And nothing would be worth jeopardizing the wonderful relationship I have.

sgrob's avatar

No. Integrity is a precious thing. You are who you are when no one’s looking.

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

Each of us gets just one chance to live a life of honor and integrity. Certainly, nobody’s perfect, but if an act or deed violates my ethics, and if I know that it’s wrong, I shouldn’t do it. Bad things diminish who and what we are.

Coloma's avatar

I value my integrity too much and besides, the “nobody ever knowing” is delusional thinking. I would know and I prefer liking myself and strive to always have a clean conscience. The man/woman in the mirror knows and you can’t hide from yourself.

You can try but unless you’re a complete sociopath your psyche will know you are of fraudulent design.
If having a good self esteem isn’t important to you then go for it, all you have to lose is your own self respect.

@PaulSadieMartin Well said,welcome to fluther! :-)

TheProfoundPorcupine's avatar

No I couldnt do that it would eat away at me until it destroyed me from the inside.

zenvelo's avatar

I am completely single right now, so sure. But i would not do so while in an exclusive relationship.

Luiveton's avatar

Yes because they’re delicious.

whitenoise's avatar

I know myself and the power of feeling guilty. I wouldn’t.

amujinx's avatar

If they are delicious, I wouldn’t want to fuck them since I would want to eat them, and I don’t fuck what I eat.

Like @zenvelo, I’m single at the moment, so yes, but if I wasn’t then no. I would be aiming more at a relationship than just a brief encounter still though.

Judi's avatar

Maybe I’m old fashoned, but sex changes me. If I did that I wouldn’t be the same person when I came back to my husband. And, He is the most delicious person I know anyway. I am blessed where I am.

flutherother's avatar

I might, but I fear a ‘brief encounter’ with someone delicious might simply ruin the deliciousness for me so I might not.

Unbroken's avatar

I am single so there is the why not factor.
But in fact the why not factor is quite clear to me.
If I really want someone I want them without limitations or at least in an arena where I can negotiate for more. Quite frankly if I were I happy with one night stands I would be having a lot more sex. The act itself is often a hollow completely expendable preformance if not accompanied by something more then fickle hungry lust.

On the other hand if it were more a “brief encounter” I would be regretful if I did not explore. Very rarely am I elementally drawn to a person. You know the feeling, you recognize something that makes you quiver like a school girl. Life is about enjoying and taking calculated safe risks. Being brave enough to persue what you think you want. Even if it fizzles. At least you know.

deni's avatar

If I was not in a relationship and this happened of course I would do it. However, I am not currently single so though I’d never be “found out” I’d still have to live with knowing this myself, which is almost worse. So no I would not. Also I prefer sex with meaning, and since I have that right now, I have no desire for much else especially meaningless purely physical sex. It has it’s place but I’m not currently looking for it.

augustlan's avatar

I’m married, so no way. I’d never be able to live with myself.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Supposedly there are statistics that say 60% of males and 40% of females admit they have had affairs. Somebody out there must be doing it.

Or maybe Fluther attracts mostly nice, honest people.

Dsg's avatar

I say No. For many reasons. 1) I am in love with my SO, 2) my SO is yummy and satisfies me, 3) it goes against what i believe in…trust and honesty, 4) i wouldn’t want someone to do that to me. I have been cheated on 2x and it isn’t a very good feeling.

wundayatta's avatar

I’m not interested in an affair or a brief encounter, so I wouldn’t do it. At least, I can’t imagine something short involving love, and love is the only thing in the world that truly interests me. When I am strongly drawn to a person, well, I guess that’s not enough. I’d have to fall in love. And then I wouldn’t want anything brief. For me, sex doesn’t separate from love. To have sex with someone, I’d have to be in love with them, and the relationship would have to last.

Unbroken's avatar

@LuckyGuy I was not always so smart. I did it once in the past with a SO. Even though our future was not going to be entwined in the long run and we both knew it. I felt guilty and sad. And even during the moment incapable of achieving pleasure.
I was never caught and didn’t confess. I am still upset by that and how dramatically different I felt stays with me.

I guess I may not in fact completely regret doing it only in that I learned I was not the type of person who could do it.

And luckily I learned with someone who I loved deeply but could never have a future with.

Dsg's avatar

@wundayatta I totally agree with what you said. I don’t want , just sex. I have to be in a relationship to have sex. Sex is very meaningful and supposed to be shared with 2 people that are both interested in a serious relationship and feel deeply commited. Sex is a special connection that only 2 people share in love making.

rooeytoo's avatar

If I were young and single, probably. But I am old and married and I know that I am only as sick as my secrets, so no way, it wouldn’t be worth the long term consequences.

Coloma's avatar

@rooeytoo Yes, good saying.

Ya know, the more in depth I ponder this I know, for certain, that I could much more easily rationalize robbing a bank rather than cheating in a significant relationship.
If I had to choose guilt it wouldn’t be on the level of intimate betrayal. Sooo, what’s that say about me?
I guess it says I’d be more comfortable with fucking over 10,000 strangers over one intimate.
Maybe I am a sociopath! lololol

newtscamander's avatar

No. I can’t imagine wanting to have anyone else while I’ve already got someone.
And even if someone came along that changed this, someone I want to have despite being in a happy relationship, I would not have an affair because I know that I would have to tell my partner about it due to a guilty conscience and I really could not live with the consequences and myself after having screwed everything up. Also, as mentioned several times above, I can’t imagine finding anyone else delicious.

Bellatrix's avatar

No, because I totally adore my husband and I cannot imagine anyone being more perfect for me so to risk that for some form of instant gratification makes no sense.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Nope, because I would still know and it would eat away at me. This is why my husband and I have a free pass arrangement, specifically for our favorite celebrities. Although… I doubt I’ll ever have the chance to seduce Johnny Depp or Daniel Craig, more’s the pity.

thesparrow's avatar

I wouldn’t.

choreplay's avatar

Wouldn’t. My conscience is about me living with me not what other know about me.

nofurbelowsbatgirl's avatar

I wouldn’t do it.
15 years ago maybe, but that was when sex was just for pleasure.
Now I’m older and having an affair would be hard for me simply because I am not just connected to a persons hotness. There are many other things that turn me on or off now. All my senses must be aroused not just my sight and/or my loins, that only works for me in fantasies.

Only138's avatar

I’m single, so what the fuck? I’m there!! :)

pikipupiba's avatar

I would get my girlfriend in on it! Since nobody ever has to know, then she can experiment and I can make sweet, tender sex at another delicious lady. Everybody wins!!!!

downtide's avatar

If the other person was female, then it falls within the agreement I have with my partner, so yes I would. I might even be able to persuade him to join in.

MollyMcGuire's avatar

No. I don’t cheat. Period.

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