How can I get this off my mind?

I’m so sorry that you experienced this. Any car accident, even minor ones, leaves a caring person shaken from the incident. It may take a day or two for the shock of it to subside. It may take longer if it plays out through dealing with insurance companies, repair shops, etc.

To answer your question though, the best way to obtain a piece of mind for now is to focus on something else. Usually, reading an interesting book or magazine will do the trick. In a more stressful situation, it may take something that will generate more focus. Is there a TV in your bedroom? If so, it might help to watch a show that captures your interest. Or maybe it is a movie that you have seen before and enjoy. What I often do is, instead of counting sheep, mentally count all of the hinges in the house, starting with one room and working my way through the whole place. I rarely make it to the basement area.

Wishing you the best in getting a good night’s sleep and a resolution to the incident.

I’m in agreement with @Pied_Pfeffer. It’s nearly impossible not to be affected by something like that, so it’s normal that it’s on your mind. It’s best to get your mind busy with something else for now, so you can get some sleep.

Glad everyone was okay!

I agree with the jellies above, it’s nirmal to be obsessing about it a little immediately after the incident. You most likely will feel much better in a few days. For now do as @Pied_Pfeffer suggessted and occupy your mind with something else. I suggest doing something that does not cause more stress, like if you watch a movie, don’t watch a movie that causes anticipatory stress like a horror movie, or something very upsetting. It would be best to keep your adreniline down.

Also, don’t beat yourself up. I don’t know if you are young, it sounds like this might be your first accident? These things happen. You will be a better driver now. Just take it as a time of learning that now you understand better how these things happen so easily. Luckily, no one was hurt, I assume the other driver was not obnoxious towards you, and was not hurt, since you didn’t mention it.

My roomate when I was in my early 20’s had the person behind her hit her at a red, the light had not even turned green. I have had someone hit me when a light had just turned green (she admitted she was looking down at her phone). My dad was hit at red just turned green. It happens more than you would think.

Do you need to drive tomorrow? I recommend you do. Get right back out there like nothing happened.

Think of a safe place. Really describe it to yourself so that you picture it and feel it. Every time the accident comes into your mind substitute thoughts of the safe place. You will recover.

Consider yourself alive and fully functional when a traumatic event has lingering affects.
If you were unaffected then we should worry about your moral constitution.

It is appropriate to mull over the details with an eye toward avoiding a repeat in the future. Figure out at what points and in what ways you will do something different in the future and replay the event with you doing the right things. Well done then, you have done your ‘work’ and are responsibly responding to what happened.
You must also however forgive yourself, and not dwell on how bad it could have been.

Essentially, what happened with the car was a result of not paying enough attention to what you should have paid attention to, namely the relative position of your car and all surroundings, particularly the car in front of you. (That was minor. With people running red lights the way they do now, you also have to be concerned if you’re first in line and the light turns green; it’s still best to “look both ways” before crossing traffic, even if “it should be” stopped.)

So as a result of that momentary inattention and minor accident, your mind has moved you toward a state of hyper-vigilance, where you can’t relax because “boom!” you’re reminded of the result of your earlier inattention.

My own suggestion differs from that of some others here on this topic. I don’t think you can “learn to relax” about this, because the event still has emotional charge for you. It’s one thing to write about it here and discuss it in this way, but nothing beats “talking it out” with someone who knows how to really listen and ask the right questions to help you get the emotion out of it. The “therapist” you choose to discuss this with doesn’t have to be a doctor or trained counselor; it might be a driving instructor or even a fellow driver. But you do need to “talk this out” to get out from under the emotion that’s keeping it so alive for you. You need to talk it out until you are bored with the story.

A year ago, nearly to the day, I was in a minor bike accident. The only reason it was minor, though, was because I was extremely fortunate (for which I credit and thank God, but that’s not really part of this thread). If any of the infinite factors involved had been slightly tweaked, that day would have seriously impacted the rest of my life in a very tangible way. As it is, though, the only impact was psychological (and I spent a lot of time in the chiropractor’s office for a few weeks).

I know what you mean about not being able to sleep, and just replaying that moment in your head. I probably watched it play out fifty times a night, until I just passed out from the sheer exhaustion. Pedaling up to the crosswalk. Pushing the button to get the “walk” sign on the stoplight. Getting that sign. Hearing the thing that the stoplight plays for blind people. Looking around and making sure the cars next to me were stopped. Starting to move again. Going through the intersection. Seeing out of the corner of my eye that this van I was moving in front of was starting to move. Speeding up to get out of its way. Feeling the van hit my hip and back wheel. Struggling to stay upright and keep from getting pushed into busy traffic. Messing up my back. Getting to the other side of the crosswalk. Taking a breath. Looking behind me to see the van going off into the distance. Breaking down into tears. I remember it all very vividly, and I just couldn’t get it off my mind. It really made me think about why I’m here on this planet. I couldn’t help but ask myself for weeks on end: Why wasn’t I killed? Why wasn’t my life severely altered?
So yes, that’s my story. Sorry if I got off on a tangent there. Here’s what actually applies to you.

I agree 100% with @CWOTUS‘s statement that you need to talk this out to get out from under the emotion that’s keeping it so alive for you. For me, it was those ”why” questions – I needed to figure out for myself why it played out the way it did. I believe the Lord used it as a tool in my life to remind me why I’m here, how I’m here, and that I need to be making the most of each day, because I never know how long I’ll be here. The answers I came to after thinking long and hard (and talking it through at the camp where I was working 3 weeks after it happened) have shaped my every decision since then. I believe it was important to have thought about those issues then, because having that nailed down in my head has been important for the struggles I’m having right now with some health problems. But anyway. You need to figure out what’s keeping this so alive for you, and see if there are any bigger questions you need to think through in order to move on. A counselor may be a good idea, or just a good friend or family member.

@CWOTUS‘s other statement that you need too talk it out until you are bored with the story is very true, too. What I did was tell every friend or family member I talked to about it. Usually I’m pretty reserved about things like this, but for some reason, I needed to talk. To everyone. After so many times of going through the story, I really did get tired of it. Once I had healed, I moved on. That’s what you need to do – you need to heal and then move on. It only works in that order. You may only be able to talk to a counselor, but talk. Work through it.

The two situations are very different, but if you want, feel free to PM me any time.

Wow, that got long. Sorry. :)

Try to think of this incident in a positive light. Neither you nor the other driver in ‘the poor car’ (I like that) in front of you were injured. Added benefit: You personally will probably be a better and more careful driver for many years to come because this happened.

Listen, every one of us makes a mistake of some kind occasionally. The only people who should feel endlessly bad about things like this are the pinheads who never learn from their mistakes, and keep making them over and over again at the expense of everybody else.

You sound smarter and more caring than that to me. Give yourself a break.

Oh alright, if it makes you feel better, go directly to jail…..but DON’T collect $200.00 after passing ‘GO’....
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