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marinelife's avatar

Have you ever felt out of step with the world and what did you do to get yourself out of it?

Asked by marinelife (62430points) June 16th, 2008

I am dealing with my Mom’s serious illness (we almost lost her). I am 3,000 miles from home and dogs for more than two weeks so far. I am stressed. I just feel down and cynical and out of it.

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13 Answers

jlm11f's avatar

i am sorry to hear about your mother. I hope she gets better and soon. Do you keep a diary? I feel like you would be one of those people who do. It always helps me to write down (and unload) my feelings/thoughts when I am too stressed. that way, i can look back and analyze it as objectively as possible. At times like this, it is important to try to maintain a very positive outlook and spend as much time as you can with family, and just be there for your mother in whatever way possible. Also, reading something lighthearted might help you go into a “safe” place for a bit and refresh your mind that way. Also, make use of your friends and support system by talking to them because it always helps just knowing that you have people rooting for you. In serious times like these, you can either be the constantly worried, pessimistic person or you can be the one who tries to make others laugh, be happy regardless of the situation because you realize that life is short so you might as well live it by laughing and making others laugh. i strive to be like the second person, even though its hard at times. Don’t forget, the Flutherers are here for you. Good luck and keep us posted :)

kimmielittleone's avatar

I know what will help. Get a book ( that’s fun ) and read it to children at local Children’s Hospital.

When Y/you see us ~smile~...Y/you will ~smile~ inside.
Trust me. ~SMILESBRIGHTLYATCHAS~
kimmie

ebenezer's avatar

that is a tough one. I am sure you will get back in step soon. Maybe sit and look at the moon or get out to where things are bustling. Something unexpected will lilkely get the mind moving in a good direction.

Notreallyhere's avatar

Go for a walk or a drive. Try to explore somewhere new. Rent lots of movies. I hope she gets better soon. Good luck.

marinelife's avatar

Thanks for all the suggestions. I went to the beach yesterday and walked for an hour and picked up rocks and shells. As always, the water, the mountains, the trees put me to rights and my puny problems in perspective.

gailcalled's avatar

When I spent a week with my brother with the open knowledge that he was dying, I took a fast 4 mile walk every day. This was in Olympia, WA and I hit a stretch of perfect weather. I ate wild blackberries, watched the seals play on the barges hauling lumber and smelled roses the size of dinner plates. It helped me to be with him in ways that he needed and to say “good-bye,” which I knew I was doing. Everyone is different, of course.

I flew home and flew back 3 days later for the funeral. (Whinge and complain to us as much as you need to.)

thebeadholder's avatar

I have been there recently, as my dad isn’t doing so well. Waiting for the inevitable to happen can be physically and mentally draining. I went home and spent eight days with him and my mother. No kids, no hubby…a much needed break from them, but more importantly to spend some quality time with my dad. I just listened to him, went to the doctor with him (I think this meant a lot to him), cooked for him and enjoyed doing the little things with him that he is still capable of doing. My mom also needed me there to vent to. When her and I needed to get away, we would go to the pool and swim. I also went to the beach. It is such a healing place to be. I wished I had my beads to make jewelry (didn’t have time to pack them). Beading is always healing for me. I hope you are keeping busy and spending that quality time with your mom. Say all the things you need to say because we don’t always get the chance.

marinelife's avatar

Thanks to all who offered support, both here and via comment. My Mom left the hospital today and will spend some time in a rehab facility, but is off oxygen and is expected to be able to resume her independent life at her home within the next few weeks.

I hope to go home by the end of the week to a husband who is expressing great happiness at that prospect.

edmartin101's avatar

Something that may help is drawing pictures that make you feel relaxed. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know how to draw, it just helps you vent your feelings. Now, it would be really awesome if you can do this at a water fall or a river where you feel water is moving, this will allow you to blend with the environment and feel you are part of it.

marinelife's avatar

@edmartin101 I will try that. I am not much of an artist so I don’ think of it, but it does call on the other side of the brain, which is a good thing.

scamp's avatar

I’m sorry you Mom is so sick. I know how draining it can be to care for an ailing loved one. The others gave some pretty good ideas. The main thing is to do something daily just for you to keep your spirits and energy up. Try to make sure you eat healthy stuff, and get as much rest as you can. People are usually very good at asking how the sick person is, but they forget how wearing it can be for the care taker.

While she is in the rehab, try to get out and get some fresh air as much as you can. When she comes home, use the time when she has visiting nurses to go and take a break. You can’t do everything so don’t be afraid to ask for help from time to time. I hope both of you feel much better soon.

marinelife's avatar

@scamp Thanks, all great, supportive ideas.

scamp's avatar

My heart goes out to you Marina.

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