General Question

meehawl's avatar

Let the age-old debate be put to bed: bear vs monkey?

Asked by meehawl (4points) July 8th, 2007

Ok, so bird flu or SARS or whatever wipes out the human population (like gone) leaving practically the entire rest of the ecosystem intact. Bears and primates battle for dominion over dry land. Who wins?

Ok, here are the rules:
1) No peaceful resolution; coexistence and/or isolationism be damned! The bears and the primates want it all and they want it now.

2) No write-in candidates. The dolphins are not taking to the streets. The armadillos do not take charge in the 11th hour for the upset.

3) No other animals as key victors, however they may enter into combat (strategically or otherwise). The monkeys can form an alliance with the lemurs, but only insomuch as the US formed an alliance with Romania to help fight the war in Iraq.

4) We left all of our toys behind. Cars, grocery stores, indoor plumbing, strip clubs. And a lot of human carcasses.

All right, so who's your money on?
© es_de_bah

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4 Answers

fruitvale's avatar

I'm not sure about this monkey vs. bear, but I have previously tackled the question of who would win in a fight between a penguin and a lemur:

skfinkel's avatar

From what I have heard about bears, they win.

GD_Kimble's avatar

MONKEYS. No contest. Quick, agile, can grasp and use tools/weapons. Any creature that knows to throw poo to annoy you, can easily figure out what else to throw to harm you.
Monkeys learned how to pilot spacecraft, and wipe our chins during mealtime if we've broken our necks. They'll put together something special, I'll betcha.
Imagine a glorious army of 100,000 monkeys charging the field of battle, brandishing steak knives like sabers, riding on the backs of 100,000 dogs. Or monkey sabateurs waiting until winter and leaving poisoned berries in the dens of hibernating bears.

Bigfish's avatar

Although there is a strong case to be made for monkeys, I'll bet the Grizzly Man would rather have spent his last day with a monkey.

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