Social Question

Mama_Cakes's avatar

I'm not anti-social, but I'd prefer not to have close neighbors. Have privacy of somesort. Are you like that, too?

Asked by Mama_Cakes (9915points) September 28th, 2013

I want to be able to sit outside in my yard and not have to deal with people peering over the fence, striking up a convo every time that I’m outside. I like the peace and quiet of having no one around. My partner is the same way.

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19 Answers

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Coloma's avatar

Holy fuck YES! haha
I am going crazy in my living arrangement right now. Nosey neighbors, the person I live with hearing every little thing I do, being nosey too, my cats confined to a fenced garden because some old biddy neighbor complained about them walking around the yard because of leash laws in this community. I am about to just get in my car and drive away. lol

The latest…last night while pounding stakes to secure the garden fence for my 2 cats, I hammered a wooden stake into the side of my palm. I have not had a breakdown like that in freaking years!
Yelled GODDAMN IT!!! loud enough to really give them something to talk about as blood spewed from my self inflicted crucifixtion. I have never been so unhappy in my life, not even when I was going through a bad divorce.

I cannot express how much I loathe living in city limits again!
Thank You for the opportunity to rant this morning. haha

JLeslie's avatar

I like both. I don’t mind having neighbors close by, or even living in a building. I also love being out in the countryside with nature all around and not many humans. More and more I appreciate the latter. What I am beginning to not be very keen on is the inbetween very suburban thing. Which I will be living in again where I just moved to. Ugh, I am not adjusting well to the idea. Although, luckily I like many things about being here.

The ideal is a small town within 30 minutes of a decent sized city. Harder and harder to find that.

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

I am one of those people who prefer living in a private, secluded area with very few neighbors. When I was growing up my parents moved us to a very quiet town, to a house in the middle of two big cornfields. No neighbors nearby, no city streets to play with my friends on. I was devastated. But now that I’m living in a city with neighbors galore, I miss the country life dearly. I wold absolutely love some peace and quiet with nothing surrounding me but nature.

Headhurts's avatar

Absolutely. Our neighbours are pretty close, but only on one side. The other side is a big field with a river at the bottom. If I am out in the garden, and the neighbours are also out, they want to talk. They want to be fence to fence and talking. I do not. They head straight for me. I purposely don’t look in their direction. A few years ago we planted bamboos along the middle of us. They have grown really well, and I’m short, so I don’t have to talk to them anymore.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Yes, extremely like that and maybe even more so.

ucme's avatar

I can’t fucking stand some of our neighbours, I just don’t do all that casual small talk crap.
A small part of me wants to smash them on the head with a large pan when they say something like, “oh I just love what you’ve done with your drive/garden/windows.”
Living out in the countryside would suit me just fine.

marinelife's avatar

Yes, that is why I am happy there is no one immediately next door to us or behind us.

anniereborn's avatar

Yes, I am very much like that. I would hate to live way out in the country where I had to drive far to even get a jug of milk though. Just give me enough space so that talking to someone would not even be possible.

Berserker's avatar

People like their privacy and peace, it’s perfectly normal not appreciating fuckers peering over the fence, seeing what you’re up to.
I’ve lived here for a long time, and some of my neighbors I still don’t know who they are, and that suits me just fine. You might be antisocial if you plan to murder them all in their sleep though. :p call me

Neodarwinian's avatar

People draw too fine of a dichotomy here.


That is perhaps the descriptive term you are looking for.

Am I like that?

Perhaps, but perhaps something else also.

tinyfaery's avatar

In a huge city you can never expect to be away from others. In a L.A. we have adapted by mutually agreeing to ignore each other, for the most part. We don’t feel guilty about not knowing our neighbors or saying hi to everyone we pass. It’s nice.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I’m out in the country on 21 acres and I love it. I’ve lived in apartment complexes and it’s okay and I got along with everyone, but give me my nature and my wildlife any day. It relaxes me more.

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

Wanting your privacy doesn’t make you asocial. There’s nothing wrong with prefering to use your backyard without a dozen pairs of eyes watching. When you enter or exit your front door, an occasional, friendly greeting can be nice, but not every time. Also, crazy neighbors – people who intrude, start fights, and create problems – are part of reality; a little distance between you and the psychos can be a very good thing.

DWW25921's avatar

My neighbors don’t like me at all. They were enabling a drunken retaliative for a few months and after I found out he was using my hill to drink and stash his empties we had something of a falling out. Anyway, we don’t speak. Solitude is bliss!

Coloma's avatar

^^^ Agreed! After 22 years, this month, on 5–10 acre properties, well..if I don’t get back to my Walden Pond scene I’m a ‘fearin’ I will become a grouchy, negative, city dweller. It so sucks!

AnonymousWoman's avatar

I already live in a neighbourhood like that (to an extent) and I enjoy it. it certainly helps that I live with several people, so I’m not lonely. If I move out, I might feel differently. I’ve thought about moving into an apartment. I like the idea of random friendly people talking to me on elevators, which sometimes happens when I’m visiting people.

EDIT: Just read all of the responses I can see to this thread… and they made me appreciate my neighbours a lot. I live in the capital city of Canada, but in a decent area of the city… and my neighbours tend to leave me alone when I’m out. I tend to leave them alone also. I’ve wondered if this makes me rude before (not feeling like having small talk with my neighbours most of the time)... but maybe it doesn’t. Phew!

LornaLove's avatar

I prefer a middle line. Neighborliness without intrusion. I think its important to greet neighbors and be willing to help if they have burst a boiler, fallen down the stairs or have gone away for a few weeks to watch over their home a bit. My neighbors and I for the majority of the time ignore each other which can be disconcerting when they are also in their back garden an arm span away.

poisonedantidote's avatar

Not me, I am just plain anti social.

However, since moving to my new place, I must say I really like my next door neighbor. Ever time I see him in the hallway, he pretends he did not see me, and I do the same, and we walk past each other in silence. I’ll miss him when I eventually move to a bigger place.

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