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15barcam's avatar

I found the guy I like making out with one of my best friends. Help?

Asked by 15barcam (756points) October 20th, 2013

First of all let me make it clear that the girl in question did not directly know that I was interested in this guy, so I don’t really blame her for anything. Now I’ll tell you how it happened. I’ve known this guy vaugly for about 5 years but just recently really gotten to know him. He is attractive, and extremely nice and smart. While at a party with my bff and my crush, he and I were flirting quite a bit. He made a big scene about putting his number in my phone so we could “text 24 -7” and kept hugging me, playing with my hair, laying in my lap on the couch, and and stuff like that. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, his attention turned to my friend. He started obviously pushing me out of the conversation and would only address my friend. Feeling confuse and awkward, I went to get some food. When I came back, I saw him and my bff making out in a corner. I just don’t know what changed or what happened, and he definatly isn’t the player type, so I’m confused and hurt. I kind of talked to my friend about it and she said it just sort of happened and she does’t really want a relationship or anything like that. I didn’t tell her I was interested, because I didn’t want to make her feel like I was mad at her or anything. What do you think happened? Why did he change his mind? Did I read the signs wrong in the first place? Do you think I still should try to get his attention? Do I even have a chance?

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18 Answers

Seek's avatar

Sounds like he was looking for some fun, and took the easiest road to dryhumpville.

Don’t look any further into it than that.

chyna's avatar

What makes you think “he definitely isn’t the player type.” He showed you he was.
He just wanted to make out and it was taking too long to get to you. Your friend was more willing and he went for it.
Only you know if this is the type of guy you want to persue. I wouldn’t.

livelaughlove21's avatar

I’m going to assume you’re young. My guess is that he’s doing what most young guys do – getting female attention from whoever he can.

Not the player type? Doubt it.

JLeslie's avatar

I’m guessing your bff seemed like an easy target for a make-out session so he went for it. He is going to kiss anyone who will kiss him I am guessing. Most young men are a horny mess. Not only horny, but they like the power and ego trip of getting girls to kiss, suck and f—k them. Your parents have probably warned you about boys, sorry to say they are right. Not all young men are like this, but a lot are. Seems like your girlfriend is maybe like that too. Or, maybe in your circles it is normal for people to just make out with each other. I had friends like that. One of my college roomates said she would kiss anybody. She thought it was no big deal.

Just to clarify I don’t mean all young men are forcing themselves on young women or anything like that. I only mean if the girl will go along the guy is right there ready to participate.

Coloma's avatar

Babycakes, the answer is NO!
Immature males are so not worth it! Move on and wait until someone is so hot for you that you;re their 1st makeout choice.
Do not make the mistake many young women do, going for the bad boy, unless you’re into pain and humiliation.

LostInParadise's avatar

My first inclination is to go along with the others on this. The guy is a typical young horny jerk. The way he treated you at the party was definitely rude. On the other hand, you feel that he is worth knowing. There is no harm in speaking to him and getting better acquainted. You can even discuss with him the way he acted at the party. Whatever you do, don’t sell yourself short or allow yourself to be compromised. Keep your eyes wide open and allow this to be a lesson on life, regardless of how it turns out.

Eggie's avatar

Ill get in trouble for saying this…but as a male who has done something like this before…he is the player type. I was this guy so it really looks like he just wants the easiest way to score. He is bad news..move on!

ebasboy's avatar

Every one is right about this guy you seem to cherish and defend though he just reflected his insides. One thing you should maybe understand about we guys is that; sometimes we are acquainted to some girls and decide to keep it less that a romantic relationship because we are not wholy compatible with girls.

A guy can prolong proposing a girl just because he is intimidated by certain features of that girl. For example; a boy may be intimidated due to thinking a girl might be too serious into the relationship while he the boy is on satisfying his horniness. On the way shall a boy find a weak point he rush in and capitalize…Thank God the guy didn’t get to using you with some deceitfull tactics.

Katniss's avatar

Ugh! He is a player. Don’t waste your time!

Pooh54's avatar

Sorry to say, he sounds like a player. If he really likes you, you would have been making out in the corner with him-not your BFF. Look for someone who is a little older – mature – and will treat you as you deserve to be treated – like a wonderful woman and not just an orifice to plug into. You are worth more than second fiddle.

Coloma's avatar

Problem is that by the time most men are “mature” they have burned all their bridges, er, vaginas, and mature women are no longer interested. lol
I’m almost 54 and the volume of loser players is still at critical mass. haha

livelaughlove21's avatar

@Coloma 50-year-old players? Yikes.

Coloma's avatar

@livelaughlove21 Oh yeah, you wouldn’t believe the volume of old perverts, sex addicts, peter pan men and married guys wanting affairs. Pathetic really.

Katniss's avatar

What are “Peter Pan men”? lol That sounds revolting.

Coloma's avatar

@Katniss Men that never grow up. Revolting is right. haha
There was a great book in the 80’s called “The Peter Pan syndrome” men who never grow up.

Katniss's avatar

@Coloma Oh yuck! What could be worse than a 50 year old man acting like he’s 20? Blah!!

Coloma's avatar

^^^ It’s also part of extreme narcissism for many.Their body has arrived at the head of the table but their mind is still in the playpen. lol Gah!

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

What do you think happened? Why did he change his mind? Did I read the signs wrong in the first place?
What happened is he seen better meadows. You said *”He is attractive, and extremely nice and smart.” it is possible other girls think so as well, at least the good-looking. You read it wrong and upset the outcome did not factor as you liked.

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