General Question

LornaLove's avatar

What have you done to help yourself?

Asked by LornaLove (10037points) October 29th, 2013

The other day during my psychiatrist visit I was told that my anxiety medication was to be stopped. I was devastated as it takes so much for me to even swallow a pill and these had helped me so much. Plus, I was undertaking them (being responsible I suppose).

I suffer such bad anxiety that I feel like I am going to lose my mind. Anyway, I had some hidden away so I am cutting them into tiny quarters. The main thing is though that she said I need to do things to help myself. Exercise, routine and that sort of thing.

What things have you done to help yourself with say for example depression, anxiety whether long or short term. How did it pan out for you? (I am bipolar).

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35 Answers

BosM's avatar

I suggest you get a second opinion as discontinuing medication used to control a anxiety/bipolar disorder does not seem right to me.

jonsblond's avatar

I step away from the internet and enjoy a good hike.

Sunny2's avatar

The thing that helps me, is thinking of others more than myself. I suggest doing a volunteer job that will give you something to do for others.

anniereborn's avatar

I suggest you get a second opinion on all this. I don’t know if you are on any other medications. But, if you are Bipolar you NEED to be on something. I also have Bipolar. I would be a basket case without them. This is not to say you shouldn’t do work on yourself as well. But, I don’t see how you can work on yourself if you have such horrible anxiety.

ninjacolin's avatar

I imagine this must be like walking without crutches for the first time after a long while. I imagine it will feel unfamiliar but only because you’ve never been this age, this wise, this you without crutches. Take ‘er for a spin! :)

I think the volunteering suggestion is a familiar one we’ve heard before and likely an activity worth pursuing. But I hear that suggestion often and there’s something about it that I think gets left out a lot.. @Sunny2‘s first sentence says it all: “Think” of others. I’m not sure volunteering itself is the only way to do that. I believe the many power in that idea is simply not spending so much time in your own head dwelling on yourself as the subject matter. You’ve made it this far in life, trust that that’s just how things go: you get on somehow. Instead of worrying about yourself too much, spend time in your head thinking about the needs and concerns and well being of other people in your life. And I don’t mean in a busy-body kind of way. I mean think about your friend’s struggles or your relative’s. Think about the good things your peers have done. Don’t be envious be happy for them. Congratulate them. Ask them how it’s going. Do an activity with someone because you know they like it. Don’t expect to be very good at it, just expect to be present with them and try to see it through their eyes. Spend time really thinking of others… It’s something I do in my own way to help myself. Such thoughts eventually lead to actions, which lead to memories in my head and in the minds of others.. which ultimately snowball into more thoughts and actions on both our parts.. It makes a difference and it helps me.. even if not immediately.

Headhurts's avatar

If I am not suffering too bad, then exercise is a great help. I try and exercise at least 3 hours a day on non working days.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I have bipolar disorder type one and generalized anxiety disorder, and the thought of not having medicine for such chronic illnesses scares me.

I was diagnosed with the illnesses twelve years ago.

In the intervening years, I’ve learned a few things. Such as:

No amount of positive thinking by itself will cure me.

No amount of exercise by itself will cure me.

No amount of psychotherapy by itself will cure me.

No amount of volunteer work by itself will cure me.

No amount of time concentrating on helping another person by itself will cure me.

Actually, there is no cure currently for bipolar disorder. There are many things which can help, but the most important element of help I’ve discovered is medicine. I must have something to assist my brain to function better.

I concur with what others have said and suggest you get a second opinion.

JamesHarrison's avatar

I think you need a place where you’ll find peace. Meditation is the best way to control yourself from any bad situation.

JLeslie's avatar

Doing some of the things that create anxiety for me sometimes releives my anxiety. What I mean by that is worrying about things for days and weeks instead of just doing them creates more anxiety. Some things it doesn’t work. It really depends what it is.

Exercise does help me, but mainly because I love the exercise. If it was doing something I didn’t love, the endorphins would not be enough. I do zumba and swim. I used to take ballet, which I loved, but haven’t been able to in a long time.

I make an effort to connect with old friends, or make new friends.

Lately, I have been feeling anxious, so I am going to try to go back to work, I have not worked in a few years. I think having my mind occupied with other things and meeting new people will help. I also think I need to do something that will give me a sense of accomplishment.

If you are coming off of bensos definitely wean down. Don’t just stop. Did your doctor not tell you to reduce your dose over the next week? I’m glad you are doing that. I know how scary it is to think you won’t have one of those pills if you get very anxious. Usually I would say that is a sign you could be becoming dependent/addicted to them, but since you are bipolar special consideration is needed for what medication you take.

I assume you are in therapy. If not consider going. Talking things through should help.

Possibly consider a second opinion about the medication you take. A different doctor might have a different perspective. Or, a different medication combination to try if you are not feeling well with your current regimen.

I hope you feel better, feeling anxious is horrible. For me it feels like a huge loss of control. The physical aspects of it bother me the most. I am not bipolar, so I don’t venture to guess what that is like, but I have been depressed and anxious at times in my life.

JLeslie's avatar

I forgot to add make sure they have tested your thyroid. Simple blood test. Thyroid conditions are very common in people with a bipolar diagnosis and can greatly add to your symptoms if it is not controlled. Bipolar can be mistakenly diagnosed when someone actually has an overactive thyroid, or the diagnosis can be correct but overactive thyroid can exacerbate mania and cause extreme anxiety. Underactve thyroid can cause depression like symptoms.

LornaLove's avatar

@JLeslie Yes I think that is what she was advising. The drug I was using is a benzo, used quite successfully with BP since it is also used with epileptics as are a lot of BP meds. It is also slow on onset which does make it less addictive. I know what you are saying though in that one can rely on these instead of changing things? I don’t feel as though I do since I leave it all day before I take it. I am so not fond of pills in any form. The result has been panic attacks and bouts of crying as well as withdrawal and feeling unwell. I was weaned off even though I had some left (as I was undertaking them). I’ve also had huge life changing events happen over a period of a months and a death that was quite shocking. I don’t feel up to much right now to be honest. Anyhow I am going to the doctor today to chat about it and other issues. Thanks for your answers everyone.

JLeslie's avatar

@LornaLove Actually, no I am not saying ditch the pills and change things. If you have been through, and are still going through some sort of accute situation right (now I don’t remember if it is you who recently lost your mom? Sorry if I may have mixed jellies) then I think you deserve some time to be miserable. One of the worst times in my life, when I went through the most extreme anxiety, I remember not wanting to feel better for a few months. I wanted the physical elements of the anxiety to go away, the loss of appetite, the shaking, the dry heaves, but I didn’t want to stop crying or mourning for a couple months. Eventually, I wanted to be over it. Eventually I wanted to move forward. But, it took a while.

I am not bipolar, so my situation is different, because if you have had some life changing events recently it understandably might be more difficult for you.

I hate pills too. Xanax was a life saver for me. I took is about 6 weeks and then weaned myself off, the doctor would have kept prescribing for me. But, I can’t compare my needs and how my brain works to yours. Everyone is different.

I also don’t know what you are doing? Are you working? In school? When I went through my worst I was in college, and really screwed up my GPA. In retrospect I wish I had withdrawn out of the majority of my classes or maybe an entire term. But, I do think it is important to not stay out of everything too long.

People will tell you to pamper yourself and do things you love. I think it is good advice, but be warned that those things may not give your the joy they used to for now. But, they might be things that you can get through. That you can tolerate.

Also, it is not one or the other. In my opinion it might have been better to continue your meds for a few more weeks and make a real effort to do something new. Two things new, and see what you like best. I didn’t stop my meds until I was feeling a little more in control. I was still a mess, but some of the most extreme symptoms had subsided.

JLeslie's avatar

I just reread your last answer. You were not taking the benso regularly? Just as needed? Is that correct? Being on and off might have been worse depending on how often you did take it. I had a friend who took Xanax every night when she went through a bad time. I thought that was a bad idea. To me it meant every day, in the middle of the day, it was wearing off.

janbb's avatar

@JLeslie Please don’t comment on other people’s medication routine. You don’t know what they need and what they have discussed with their doctors. Anecdotes are not always helpful.

I would question your doctor about why s/he doesn’t want you to take the anti-anxiety meds. It certainly sounds like you still need them. You could certainly work on other stress-reducing techniques at the same time.

I have been on and off depressed over the past several years. The thing that has gotten me through the best has been a circle of friends with whom I can talk and be. I try very hard not to constantly be a “Debbie downer” – nobody wants to see you coming if you are always mopey. Another thing has been exercise. I joined a walking group right after my husband left and that has provided me with both outlets. And work is both a distraction and a social outlet.

I have used Xanax at times to help with anxiety attacks and my best friend is bipolar and suffers from PTSD. He could not make it without his meds; with them and life changes that moderate his stress, he is a lovely, warm productive person.

JLeslie's avatar

@janbb I took Xanax when I was 21. I am 45. Inbetween I had a successful career, marriage, but recently am having what you have seen me call my midlife crsis. I agree I have been going through a stressful time, which I mentioned, and I am going to try to go to work and am considering going back to therapy.

I never told the OP to stop taking medication, in fact I kind of said the opposite. And, let me get this right, you are telling me, advising me, to take drugs, but not give advice? I stated to the OP I cannot directly compare myself to her. I told her to seek therapy, she knows I am not a doctor, and I told her to consider a second opinion.

My friends are great to me too, and I agree about the debbie downer statement, but we also get a chance to mourn. I don’t know how long this has gone on for the OP. The fake to you make idea I think is helpful. Put on a face, go through the motions, eventually it becomes real hopefully. The smile is real, enjoying life again can become real.

Tell you what, I am done with answering anything medical here. At least for a long time. I know that will make a lot of people happy. If people want to ask me, they can PM me. OP’s always seem to understand they can not substitute jelly advice for real medical advice, but the jellies in the answer column never seem to be able to differentiate. I can see who is talking to whom. I’m tired of it. I think you are wonderful, and I don’t mind if you clarify for the OP she should seek medical advice and that internet advice should not be substituted for real medical advice. I wholly agree with that. But, people come here for advice and other people’s experience. Read the main question, what have you done to help yourself? She asked us our stories.

janbb's avatar

@JLeslie Oh sorry. The first comment was only to you. The rest of the post was directed at the OP. I should have made that clearer; I thought it was. I try not to give unasked for advice.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Reading works for me, it completely distracts my mind from thinking of problems. :)

Pachy's avatar

Last year, on the advice and with the help of my doctor, I slowly weaned myself off an anti-anxiety Rx I’d used for years. The only thing it was doing for me was giving me some unpleasant side effects. I’m so glad I did this.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

I really don’t understand mental/emotional problems at all. I can’t even conceive having to take drugs to make your mind work right, so I know I am ignorant and can’t relate, but my sister has been going to a psychiatrist for the last 20 years or so and the meds she has taken for so long has made her verifiably, clinically insane. So, I would say, if you can get off the meds, do it. Personally I don’t think there was a darn thing wrong with my sister, except that she was a self-centered, attention-grubbing, drama queen all her life. I think she just wanted a psychiatrist to validate her claim that there was something wrong with her rather than just being a jerk. She was diagnosed with anxiety disorder, bi-polar, OCD and ADD, and all the other meaningless labels that they give people who just need to straighten up and fly right. I don’t mean to insult those who have disorders, I don’t want to argue whether they are real or not. I just implore you to get off the meds or cut down if you can, because you can wind up like my sister. It is the long term use of the mind-altering drugs that made her crazy. She was just a little annoying before.

Pooh54's avatar

I think a second opinion is in order also. My sister is bipolar and I understand needing your meds but there are times where I don’t think my sister wants to help herself. I might make a suggestion that she take her dog for a walk. She loves her dog. She just tells me she doesn’t have the energy. I try to explain that if she walked, she might feel better getting out in the frsh air, but she won’t do it. I know it is hard for her and I want to help any way I can but sometimes it is hard to tell if she is so content in feeling depressed that she is comfortable or she really can’t do anything. Her dr won’t take her off something without giving her something else to keep her meds balanced. good luck.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@Skaggfacemutt I don’t understand your post. I’m gobsmacked by it, in fact. You state, “I really don’t understand mental/emotional problems at all. I can’t even conceive having to take drugs to make your mind work right, so I know I am ignorant and can’t relate,” which you end with a comma when a period—in other words, stopping there completely and not continuing—would seem appropriate.

Instead of stopping, the post continues with the story of your sister whom you call insane and say it was the medicine prescribed by a psychiatrist that made her so. Unless you have a background in pyschopharmacology, you simply aren’t qualified to comment on the efficacy of the medicine anyone is taking.

The post further states, “Personally I don’t think there was a darn thing wrong with my sister, except that she was a self-centered, attention-grubbing, drama queen all her life. I think she just wanted a psychiatrist to validate her claim that there was something wrong with her rather than just being a jerk. She was diagnosed with anxiety disorder, bi-polar, OCD and ADD, and all the other meaningless labels that they give people who just need to straighten up and fly right.” Why, if you are not a medical doctor with a specialty in psychiatry, do you think you’re able to diagnose your sister?

More importantly, why do you call them “meaningless labels”? They aren’t. They are real illnesses, and your words are insulting. I do understand you go on in the next sentence saying you don’t wish to be insulting, but those words were indeed insulting. I have bipolar disorder type one. It is not possible for me to simply “straighten up and fly right.”

Your imploring the OP to “get off the meds” raises the question of your qualifications to give such advice. You open the post by telling us the opposite. You say yourself you don’t understand.

I would like to suggest that you, please, don’t give medical advice on the Internet.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

I think I am better qualified to give advice than any psychiatrist or psychologist. We know so little about the human mind, how can any of us profess to know how to “fix it”, especially when you are talking about “mood disorders.” I am giving advice, which in my opinion is just as good as anyone else’s, and drawn from personal experience. I really believe that my sister would be fine today if not for all the mind-altering drugs. It doesn’t take a doctor to know that anything you take that alters your state of mind can’t be a good thing. And if you take it long enough, then like any other foreign substance you subject your body to, you become dependent on it. Then, if you go off of it, of course your body is going to “freak out.” And then you go back on it again, just to feel normal. That is, if you don’t commit a mass shooting or something first.

If I can save even one person from this cycle, then I will chance your ridicule and put this out there. Call me whatever you want. I lost my sister due to psychiatrists, playing with her mind, and pharmacutical companies getting rich off of her. So, @LornaLove , please take the advice of those who have given you ways to help yourself get off the meds. It may be difficult and sound impossible, but like anyone who is hooked on anything, you can do it.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

One or two Psalms or Proverbs a day, if not that toothpick sculpture (only as a hobby ofcourse)

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@Skaggfacemutt You wrote: We know so little about the human mind, how can any of us profess to know how to “fix it”, especially when you are talking about “mood disorders.”

Actually, I believe we know quite a lot about the mind. The fallacy that we don’t is dangerous. It leads some individuals to think the mind is some type of supernatural force operating above the realm accessible by empirical inquiry.

The mind is real. It can be studied, and indeed has been done so since the time of Socrates and Plato.

The fact that illnesses of the brain can be diagnosed and treated is wonderful. It allows me, a person with bipolar disorder type one and generalized anxiety disorder, to live a more balanced life. Without the medicine I take and the psychotherapy I receive, I would not be able to function on any reasonable level and would be locked in an institution.

Why do you place the words mood disorders inside quotation marks? The implication is that you believe they aren’t real. I can give firsthand testimony that they are quite unpleasantly real.

You also wrote: It doesn’t take a doctor to know that anything you take that alters your state of mind can’t be a good thing. What if the state of mind is sick to begin with? Would you deny a sick person the medicine that is going to help? If you catch a cold, do you take anti-histamines? If a person has diabetes, shouldn’t they take insulin?

I take medicine, because of the bipolar disorder I have. It helps me. Before I was diagnosed and before I was given the medications, my life was awful to say the least. I would stop short of calling my life “good” at present, but I am able to take care of my daily needs.

Your sentence “That is, if you don’t commit a mass shooting or something first.” is infuriating. It’s obvious you believe persons with mental illness and those being given medication for it are homicidal. I am a Hawaii Certified Peer Specialist in mental health and work with people just like me who are mentally ill. We are no more dangerous than any other person.

I am very sorry to read your sister has such trouble. I can sympathize with her that mental illness is horrible. The misunderstanding of and stigma against mental illness are tremendous burdens to bear. I understand what it’s like to have members of one’s own family ridicule me for what they can’t see and assume doesn’t exist somehow. My father has all but laughed in my face and has overtly told me I’m not living my life right. I cannot begin to express the deep pain that causes me. When people close to us reject us, it hurts beyond words.

Headhurts's avatar

@Hawaii_Jake So well said. @Skaggfacemutt‘s response was absolutely appalling.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

I have fought depression and anxiety for decades. The key to my success has been to monitor my thinking for maladaptive negative thoughts that tend to sustain my symptoms and sometimes make them worse. I had learned to challenge those negative thoughts that are false and harmful to me and to substitute correct cognitions that help me eliminate depression and anxiety. Getting outside and doing things that used to bring me satisfaction or pleasure helps me a great deal. Check out the following website for excellent explanations that go beyond what I could write here. Medication alone is not sufficient but it can be helpful to get you started. It takes action and effort on your part to regain control over you symtoms. If you are indeed bipolar, some medication is generally used to help control the symptoms of that disorder. You may need to consult another psychiatrist if you cannot work out a solution with the one you have been seeing.

LornaLove's avatar

I saw the doctor today and he explained things a little better to me. (Not the psychiatrist). If they increase the BP meds which are for mood stabilizing then the anxiety will reduce without using the benzo. I still want the benzos for emergency or when I simply cannot ‘come down’. We discussed a 7 day plan of increase on BP meds and continued on small dose clonazopam. That seems like a plan. I did not realize how much anxiety featured as part of bipolar. It is radical. So bad I have actually crawled into a tent like structure I have made. I know that sounds crazy but it helps.

I lost two parents, an ex husband and I moved countries then I got severely ill for 7 months. I am due for a biopsy soon too. It has just been too much at once. Having said that I understand a bit better how anxiety can be a major feature and should I increase the mood stabilizers my brain chemistry should change to remove anxiety a lot.

I appreciated all the answers I know there are no doctors here except Dr Lawrence, but shared experience really helps and I have always found @JLeslie answers very helpful and hope you do not stop trying to assist. @janbb You are right getting out there and chatting to people and getting on with it helps. Being so ill I couldn’t but I can see myself doing it. I just feel quite positive today which I haven’t for a while. @Dr_Lawrence My doctor a buddhist spoke of mindfulness and changing my thoughts. I have been aware of this for a time and it is harder than most think when you are in the midst of raging anxiety and panic attacks. However, it is something I want to know more about. Thanks for the website. I am also going to be undergoing EFT and light therapy which I am excited about :) and am seeing the therapist tomorrow to discuss. For the longest time I have felt my life was over but see now I have a future. It is exciting.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

Well, I knew I would get a lot of flack for expressing how I feel, and if I were discussing this topic in polite company, I would just nod and keep quiet (and walk away) because I only have faith in doctors to a point. Medical doctors more than psychiatrists and physchologists. At least medical doctors can take a blood test, a urinalysis, an x-ray or scan, and actually see or measure a problem. I still stand behind my statement that we don’t know very much about the mind. Any responsible scientist or biologist will tell you that. So, as a result of that, I am very leery of mind-altering drugs. They give it to you, it helps you feel better, they are not really sure why it helps or what it might do to you long-term. My sister was fond of drugs in the ‘60’s, and was more than happy to get feel-good drugs legally as an adult. I watched her mental state deteriorate as her drug use increased. I just worry about you guys, and wonder if the psychiatrists are taking advantage of you. I hope not.

LornaLove's avatar

@Skaggfacemutt I appreciate a lot in your posts in that I agree the wrong medication can be detrimental to people. Sometimes too medication can be a trial and error type of thing particularly with more serious disorders like BP. I also agree that certain drugs used can be addictive and cause addictions issues. We all know someone who has a mental illness some are doing well some are battling. The variations are too many to mention each person is different.

Just as you get bad doctors you get bad psychiatrists I feel. I also feel many people are diagnosed too quickly for different reasons. (One being medical insurances get paid faster).

You cannot group everyone together, nor can you group their drug usage. I wish I could do without drugs I despise them. For me that has been one of the biggest hurdles to my recovery.

Psychiatry is a science and there are physical ways of finding out if people are in fact ill

There is so much about that on the Internet if you wish to Google it.

A lot of psychology and psychiatry is dedicated to statistics with measurable data which is both qualitative and quantitative. Most Psychiatrists are medical doctors to start. Psychiatry is primarily the study of the brain organically and effect of medicine.

You seem to have based your own opinion mostly on your sister who you seem angry with? You cannot group all human beings using this frame of reference since that would prove ignorant.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

Thanks, @LornaLove for the info. I am not angry at my sister. When I say that she was always self-centered, needed to be the center of attention, and dramatical, I am just stating a fact. I still love her. Isn’t it normal for some people to be high strung and some to be laid back, some to be easy to get along with and some to be high maintenance, some who are always happy and others who are often melancholy? Some who are very even-keeled and some who are very emotional? All I know is that my sister was fine, even though she was a dramatical person who needed lots of attention. It doesn’t help my confidence in psychiatrists and psychologists to know that every doctor she has seen in the past 20 years has given her a different diagnosis from the last, changed her meds and told her that the last guy was wrong. I think my sister started out liking the attention that the psychiatrist paid her, and also liked the buzz that she got from the meds. But now after decades of taking a coctail of anti-depressants, anti-anxiety meds and anti-psychotic meds, her brain doesn’t work in any semblance of normal anymore. Like I said, I don’t know that much about it and have never had a mental or emotional problem myself (so probably makes me less sympathetic, and I’m sorry for that) but I witnessed my sister going to several psychiatrists and psychologists, and all said something different. Surely at least one of them should have been good, you would think.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Psychiatrists are medical doctors. They hold a medical doctorate, thus the M.D. after their names.

Psychologists hold a Ph.D.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

Well, she has seen both. Each time she changed doctors, the next one would say “he was giving you WHAT! Well no wonder you’re all screwed up! Here, I’ll fix you up. We’ll take you off of this and start you on that..” and yadda, yadda. Then she would get worse, change doctors again, and the new one would say “he was giving you WHAT! Well, no wonder you’re all screwed up. Here, I’ll fix you up. We’ll take you off of this and start you on that…” and on and on and on… One would diagnos bi-polar, the next would diagnos depression. The next would say ADD, the next OCD, anxiety disorder, PTSD, psychosis, neurosis. If she didn’t have it before, she had it by the time they were done with her.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@Skaggfacemutt Please, tell you sister to get an account on Fluther so we can hear her story directly from her instead of hearing your filtered account.

snowberry's avatar

As for what I have done to help myself, I’ve embarked on a whole-body detox program. It’s working quite well. I thoroughly investigate anything a medical doctor tells me to do, and then I make up my own mind. I often do not follow their advice because I’ve found a better way to resolve my problem (better as in less invasive, less costly, more effective, etc).

When I started this program I was in excruciating pain and on serious pain medication. Now I’m not on any pain medication, I have lost 35 lbs, and I look and feel great. The biggest change as far as pain management goes, was diet. It’s a gluten free (gluten is inflammatory) alkaline diet.

LornaLove's avatar

@snowberry I am so glad that it is working out for you and I know you practice what you preach. I do believe that diet can help. I just haven’t been able to pull it together for myself. Not that I eat all bad things or negative foods at all. I am mindful most of the time. Diet can change ones life. :)

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