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jimmy1014's avatar

Should I tell my best friend I'm in love with her?

Asked by jimmy1014 (23points) July 7th, 2008 from iPhone

I’ve been in love with my best friend for almost three years now. I send her signs and sometimes she sends them back. We hold hands and cuddle and stuff but each time I think she is into me she gets a new boyfriend should I tell her?

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24 Answers

MissAnthrope's avatar

If you hold hands and cuddle, that’s a pretty good sign.. maybe because you haven’t made a move yet, she thinks you’re not really interested. I would personally take the risk because there are signs that she likes you back.

marinelife's avatar

At this point, you have nothing to lose. Either she returns your feelings or you are her in-between man, a friend she uses for romance in between guys. Either way, if you are in love with her, you need to know so you can move on. If it is the latter, you deserve better, and three years is way to long for no definition of your relationship.

If it does go bad and she says she wants to stay friends, say manybe later. For your sake, you need a change.

PupnTaco's avatar

Tell her how you feel. If she doesn’t feel the same way, it’s probably best to end the friendship & move on. You’ll have all these feelings you can’t turn off and nowhere to direct them until you fall in love with someone else.

Iphone35's avatar

listen, she’s obviously playing around with ya, so you cuddle, hold hands and as you mentioned, she “sometimes” sends back the signs you send. The key thing here is she’s always getting into a relationship and it’s not with you, if she really was into to you as you are with her, she would’ve done or said something to you thuss you two would’ve have hooked up a long time ago.

ebenezer's avatar

I would start making a point to start spending much less time with her. It may help ferret out her true feeling if she is deprived of your company. Tell her or don’t but it sounds like it is time to make a move in some direction.

Also if she has a boyfriend at the moment she will probably play that card as an excuse for not telling you her true feelings. Maybe in order not to hurt your feelings or maybe because she wants to keep you around (without being your girlfriend).

Spargett's avatar

Go for it.

Otherwise you’ll just be her friend forever. There are many things that define being a man. One of those is having the balls to be straight up and go after what you want in life. No one else is going to do it for you.

Be confident and respectful when you do this.

pattyb's avatar

your supposed to love your best friend. Are you saying you are romantically, sexually, and emotionally attracted to this person. Be careful, if have have given her signs for this long and she has not acted on them, I would say she accepts your mind and heart, but not your body( and I dont mean your physique) but the whole physical package

Beckquador24's avatar

Having been through what sounds like the same situation all the way down to the hand holding and the cuddling.
Its not a healthy way to live put it out there clear as can be.
If things don’t workout it going to be tough to remain close more than likey she will turn into an acquaintance for a while.
It was a huge burden off of my chest
Hope i was some help.

jimmy1014's avatar

It just sucks because she is the first girl I’ve ever fallen in love with..I love everything about her and even in allbif her flaws she is still beautiful to me..I love the way she looks at me and it just feels like in a room full of people we can just talk and laugh for hours..I can describe it but it breaks my heart everytime our days end..I want to tell her but something always stops me and the it would be so hard to move on when she’s all I want..I look at other girls but I can’t picture myself with anyone but her..

chatnoir's avatar

You can’t always have what you want and lots of the time, it creates a space for something way better than you could imagine to enter. Keep an open mind. It must feel awful when she finds a new boyfriend. I am sure there is some magic just around the corner waiting for you, but you may miss it because you are staring at the difficulty. Snap out of it!

PupnTaco's avatar

@jimmy: that’s all just a part of being young and learning about love. I’ve been there more than once in your same situation. If I could go back in time and tell myself one simple thing: “you deserve someone who feels the same way for you.”

marinelife's avatar

@jimmy1014 I hear how painful and wonderful this is at the same time. Probably what stops you is that some part of you knows she does not feel the same way, but ask yourself this: Are you truly experiencing love? You are sitting at her table waiting for crumbs to fall. You are so focused on her table you don’t even see all the other meals out there. You are half alive and half in love. The something that you have is not better than nothing.

jimmy1014's avatar

alright should I ask her out to dinner tomorrow and tell her there? Or..? What? Ha

pattyb's avatar

when physical and emotional attraction is only felt by one half of a friendship, it can get very very very complicated. In the end one person is going to take a fall, and the freindship can be damaged. By keeping your emotions in check , you might be able to avoid a situation.

flameboi's avatar

yes, but be aware that u can lose her friendship, is better to tell her than not knowing what would have happened, good luck!

marinelife's avatar

If it was me I would be doing whatever you guys do when it is great, and just turn to her and say something like (in your own words): “We have something really great between us. I think it’s more than a friendship. I’d like us to start dating. What do you say?” If she says yes, then ask her to dinner to celebrate.

That way you tell her you care for her in that way more than as a friend with no ambiguity, but if she says she is not into you that way you haven’t laid your entire heart on the floor for her to trample on.

jimmy1014's avatar

Marina you rock! Best advice!

scamp's avatar

Good luck jimmy1014! Let us know what happens.

wallop123's avatar

im in the same situation i love my best friend and ive approached her before like marina said and it didnt work out and now its really awkward between us. i still love her but she acts really akward and unsettled around me. but i wish you the best of luck mate you clearly really like this girl tell us what happens.

jimmy1014's avatar

well turns out she has feelings for me too we have now been dating for a few weeks in fact, I’m taking her out tonight! I’m in love with this girl and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been! Thanks everyone!

MissAnthrope's avatar

Congratulations! I’m glad it worked out for you. :)

marinelife's avatar

@jimmy1014 That is wonderful. Congratulations!

dreamer2010's avatar

wallop123 Im in the same situation you are in in fact its the exact same situation It gets awkward every time we hang out now which hasnt been that much latly but i didnt approach her and ask how she felt about me… we were hanging out 1 time and i was leaving then b4 i left i went to hug her she kissed mei then i got confused then went home i thought about it and after that i dreamt about her for a whole month after that and in every dream we got closer and closer then i wake up try to ask her out and tell her i love her but she never answers my calls or texts to ask her to meet somewhere we can talk. btw congats jimmy1014 i hope it Goes very good for u 2

dreamer2010's avatar

And i just cant c my self without her in my life she makes me feel better when im around her b4 it got awkward And its just what i love in girls so if u got advice plz let me know something i can do!

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