What's your comfort level?

It would depend on the length and level of our friendship. Hard to make a generalization. Your feelings are usually a giveaway. If you are embarrassed, then that is how you feel.

I was embarrassed. ..but I don’t understand. How is that a giveaway?

I have seen co-workers in their underwear due to changing clothes while being on a softball league. I have seen co-workers unzip and unbuckle their pants as they talk to me to tuck in their shirt. It doesn’t bother me at all and it has never been done in a sexual manner.
You feel how you feel and no one can change that you were embarrassed.

Maybe I’m too old fashioned. ..

Is this the same guy that doesn’t joke with you? This would have been a perfect opportunity to joke with him. “Oh, didn’t realize I was interrupting something….”

Actually, yes. And I did kid him about it in an email a bit later…just said I was never going to knock on his door again, lol!

I can’t think of any reason for a woman to blush at the sight of a man’s bare chest. Am I missing something?

Maybe I can just turn my head in some other direction and say “I haven’t seen you, its okay”.

I’m pretty comfortable with something like this. Complete nudity and casually strolling about would be a bit much, but a bare chested man, someone wrapped in a towel, no biggy.

I don’t think I’d feel any way about it. It’s a dude’s naked torso – and? If he came out completely nude, that would be different (and just a tad unprofessional), but the human body doesn’t typically make me uncomfortable.

I’m also not sure if “I’ll never knock on your door again!” is much of a joke. Seems like that would make things even more awkward. However, would I be way off to suggest you might be into this guy? First it bothers you that he jokes with everyone but you, now you’re embarassed to see him half naked. Hmm?

It wasn’t even all that @livelaughlove21…just a shoulder.

I think it would depend on the work environment and how long people have worked together and the friendships that have developed. I can’t imagine anyone I work with now stripping to the waist in front of me. It wouldn’t be appropriate. I’ve worked in other places where I wouldn’t have batted an eyelid because we’d worked together in the same office, talked about our lives and become good friends as well as colleagues.

He didn’t strip to the waist in front of me, lol! He must have come to the door in the process of putting on his shirt.

Nonetheless, he was shirtless in the office. Same argument applies. It depends on the work environment. It wouldn’t bother me, but I can’t see anyone doing that where I work. It obviously bothered you.

I’m sure his door was closed (until he chose to open it, so that part wasn’t wrong. I was just taken aback.

I find nipples very embarassing. I don’t like being forced to see people’s disgusting bodies. Gross.

From what I’ve seen, there’s nothing disgusting about his body! (Do not read more into the above statement than is there. ..

@yankeetooter “Do not read more into the above statement than is there…”

Kind of hard not to at this point. You got flustered looking at this guy’s shoulder, you wish he’d joke around with you like he does with everyone else, and you just made the comment that there’s “nothing disgusting about his body!” Pretty sure you want this dude.

I do, but I shouldn’t.

But I really just meant he is very athletic, tall, etc. I didn’t mean to imply I had seen more than would be proper.

Only if there’s sexual tension.
Or if he has a third nipple.
Or if there’s a third nipple and sexual tension.

@yankeetooter and hot-shirtless-guy-who-doesn’t-joke-with-her sitting in a tree.
K-I-S-S-I-NG!

Lol! @fluthernutter…

My first thought would be that this person is socially inept, and that he’s likely to do other things equally inappropriate. I’d be…for lack of a better word, wary around him.

Why would you think he’s socially inept? @snowberry

Coming to the door of an office partially dressed is inappropriate unless the building was on fire. I wouldn’t do it in my home, and certainly not in an office. I’ve run a business, and I certainly would not tolerate that nonsense in an employee either. It doesn’t matter what or why. He could have waited to be fully dressed before opening the door.

I don’t know why I should have to even explain this. It should be common knowledge. But apparently it is not.

Some offices are more casual than others. Also, some people are too uptight. It’s not a big deal unless you make it one.

@livelaughlove21 LOL, Oh, I wouldn’t make it a big deal, unless it were my employee. Then I wouldn’t make it a big deal either. I’d just fire him.

This guy has a shower in his office? Do others on staff routinely take showers at work? Was this encounter during business hours?

Sigh!

It would completely depend upon the actual relationship I had with the guy. Where I work, there are several males, with whom I’m also friends with outside of work, so with those people it wouldn’t be weird or awkward. Even one of those dudes is my boss, so no problem there. If it were someone I didn’t know well, or only knew as a work colleague (rather than also being a friend outside of work) it might be a bit awkward, but the way you’ve described it, it seems like a fairly normal situation, since the guy was just getting cleaned up to go to the airport, and a shirtless male is not the same thing as a shirtless female.

I probably would have said something like, “Ooops, sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude.” Even though you weren’t intruding. Just said in a calm fashion, as if you’ve accidentally bumped into someone, or stepped on their toe.

In my case, if this guy had been one person in particular. I probably would have shoved him back into his office, with me following, shutting and locking the door and ravishing him on the floor : P But that’s just me.

Back to you. I don’t think you should have told him in an e-mail (or at all) that you’ll never knock on his door again. By saying that, you turned a non-situation into an awkward situation. He might now think that he has inadvertently offended you, or that you might put forth a sexual harassment complaint against him, because it sounds like you were shocked and upset. I don’t think that YOU feel that you were sexually harassed, but your comment to him might make HIM think that you do feel that way.

I think that you kind of like this guy, and he was pretty cute, and the view of his naked chest was unexpected and you kind of over-reacted rather than taking the chance that you had, in making a light hearted joke/comment to him at the time.

Do you think that there will be a time in the near future that you might need to knock on his door again? If so, knock and casually ask, “Are you decent?” Then smile at him when he opens the door. Don’t build this up in your mind as this BIG situation.

@Kardamom…a couple points to address.

I did politely excuse myself.

This guy, well, if the general situation were different, well…er, no comment as regards shoving him back in the office, etc., although I could never do that. blushing

The email was sent in a joking manner, with the required attached “lol”. It was taken as intended.

No naked chest (alas!), just a bare shoulder. I do have feelings for the guy, but I’m channeling them into a friendship. That’s all that is ever going to be.

And it turns out that the friendship is enough…and we have talked and then some since then…and everything is more than okay. He has shown me what a great guy he truly is this past week.

@yankeetooter As long as you added the lol, then it’s probably OK. Does he know you have a crush on him? If he does, he really needs to tread lightly. It’s hard to back out of a crush when you are actively seeing him on a regular basis (at work) on purpose (because you are).

I just don’t want you to end up getting hurt again. I’ve been in that situation, where I get my hopes up, things aren’t as they appear, I get a crush that’s hard to shake, and then no one is happy. If you really want to be “just friends” with this guy, get to know and like his wife. Be an advocate, not a potential rival.

He doesn’t know (pretty sure). No worries…I would never pursue, even if there was a chance my feelings were reciprocated (I’m not the least bit attractive, and at any rate, he has integrity).

I am an advocate…don’t worry.