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syz's avatar

Do you have any direct experience with resources for elder care?

Asked by syz (35649points) December 29th, 2014

My father has rapidly progressing dementia. Mom is taking proactive steps to look to the future (she just sold the house, moved to the same town as my sister and I, set up financially safety precautions).

Dad has been turned down for extended care coverage for having 3 strikes (heart disease, diabetes, dementia). He has too much money for many programs, but not enough money for long term care (when he gets to that point).

I guess what I’m looking for are resources to help my mom cope. Have you been in this situation? Are there resources that you can recommend?

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2 Answers

janbb's avatar

A Place for Mom is a reference and referral service for senior facilities that a friend of mine had a great experience. There are also gerentological lawyers and social workers that you can probably find in your area through Google or the Yellow Pages. I have been reading a book called “The Other Talk” that is aimed at aging parents of adult children and has advice for how to make decisions about elder life issues and discuss them as a family.

My own parents moved first into a retirement community and then into a continuing care facility where they were at first in an independent apartment with some meals provided. When my Dad become more ill and demented, he was moved into the nursing care wing on the same property and my Mom stayed in the apartment and could see him daily. There was a buy-in to the apartment and monthly fees with an additional fee for the nursing care but that was not exorbitant.

There may also be respite care or day programs in your area where your Dad could go at times to give your Mom some time off. These are sometimes run by social services, attached to hospitals or through religious institutions.

Hope this all helps.

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