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Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Ladies, when was the last time you realized that you were ”just a girl”?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (26798points) March 17th, 2015

When was the last time you figured you were just a number on the wall, when he had no one else to call, that you were just a girl, the backup plan? How did you come to that realization? You could never get him to take you out anywhere? He invites you over and seemed annoyed if you were not headed for the bedroom within 12 minutes? Never had conversation for you if he didn’t strike out getting with some other gal? What was the tell, tale signs?

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12 Answers

trailsillustrated's avatar

I’ve never been treated this way. This would be a total dbag that would get no dates. Ewww

JLeslie's avatar

With this one guy I dated in college. It was very short lived. He pursued me for weeks. We were “together” maybe two weeks, I barely remember. He was an ass.

cazzie's avatar

Never. My ‘asshole detector’ would have gone off well before.

Coloma's avatar

Many moons ago, but, it was a mutual use.
A FWB before that term was coined. lol

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@cazzie Never. My ‘asshole detector’ would have gone off well before.
How quick, the first three dates, the first meet, the first time he begged out of seeing you if a romp in the sheets was not on the menu?

@Coloma Many moons ago, but, it was a mutual use.
A FWB before that term was coined. Lol
Technically if you were not expecting anything but sex from him, and used him almost exclusively for such, you were not ”just a girl”, a fall back plan when he struck out with all the others he had in front of you. In a FWB arraignment, you are the one, or in the normal rotation. If you were hoping something would come of it but nothing never did, all he did was hit it and quit it, (until next time), you would have ended up as ”just the girl”. :-)

Pandora's avatar

I don’t really know. I kind of always dumped them before it got there. Before my husband the longest relationship I had was 3 months and prior to that 2 weeks. The rest where usually dumped after one or two dates. The two week one was 2 timing me but I was already on the verge of dumping him before I found out because he stood me up. When he decided that he wanted me and not the other girl, it was too late already. I lost all trust in him

Tell tale signs where not having time for me. None of the guys I dated got past first base with me. They all knew my reasons why and it was also the reason why so many wouldn’t go beyond one or two dates. I made it clear that they were not going to get anywhere and if they didn’t like it, I wasn’t going to try to hold on to them. There’s the door.

A guys who is really interested in you will make time for you. Not because he feels he has to do it. He will make time because he has a need to really get to know you and build on a relationship.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Pandora They all knew my reasons why and it was also the reason why so many wouldn’t go beyond one or two dates.
Do you believe that was part of the allure, the mystique, to be the 1st to enter @Pandora’s box, and when they couldn’t they grew frustrated and quit, or grew bored?

cazzie's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central I can spot one on the first meet, now. Back when I was young and a bit more naive, I may have gone out on a ‘date’ with one if the alarm bells didn’t go off on the first meet, but it never took more than that to know he wasn’t worth my time. I had my heart broken once when I was about 16 by a guy like this and I’m a quick learner. (I was a good girl and never gave in to his pleading…. he moved on to the next girl who would help him use up his box of condoms, I learned my lesson and developed ‘radar’.)

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

It was when I was 17 (34 years ago). Brian was charismatic and it didn’t take long to pick up on this. His personality was intriguing enough to keep seeing him sporadically as we lived in different towns. When he told me he would be going to all of the high school proms in all of the counties in our area, I point-blank told him that he wouldn’t be going to mine.

When I told my mom that I wouldn’t be seeing him again, she said, “Thank goodness you got rid of that SOB.” Shocked, I asked for an explanation. She said, “SOB: Sneaky ol’ Brian.” It was one of a few times that she displayed a sense of humor. Then again, she was spot-on.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, I dated a guy in HS for over a year. Then we broke up. We got back together a few times, specifically for sex, then I ended that.

Misspegasister28's avatar

In 8th grade I was dating some kid. Things were going well at first, but he was kind of controlling and wouldn’t let me watch the shows I wanted to watch lol. Near the end of our relationship he started writing in other girls’ Yearbooks “You’re so pretty!!” and would ignore me and take days to text me. When he did, I’d ask him what he was doing and his response were things like “I was downstairs”. I ended the relationship the night before our 6 month anniversary.
But now that I think back to it I laugh, really hard. Oh, 8th grade. So serious.

Haleth's avatar

Weirdly enough, I once chose someone for exactly this reason.

I spent most of my 20s in a terrible long-term relationship. The guy was possessive and controlling, and he wanted me to spend all my free time with him. It left me cautious and jumpy about dating.

After my breakup, I didn’t go near a guy for the next year. I’m still not sure when, if ever, I’ll enter another relationship. But last summer I started to get curious. What about just getting laid, could that happen?

Dave is a loosely-affiliated member of my friend group. I see him at parties and get togethers, that kind of thing. If you’ve seen the Thor movies, you’ve met him. He’s a foot taller than me, built like a linebacker, has a cute scruffy beard, and he is so enthusiastic about everything. He’s always falling head over heels for some new girl, and each time it lasts about a week, bless his heart.

Reader, I banged him. All that energy and enthusiasm? Oh yeah, he brought it. He has a HUGE… personality. Unfortunately when we were hooking up his sister was in the house, and she started pounding on the door because she couldn’t find one of their cats. It was far too late to stop by then. He forged ahead like a champ.

A couple months later he texted me to say, “sorry I dropped off the grid there! I was sooo busy :o” This was at 2 AM; he was angling for a booty call. I was wearing sweats and drinking wine and eating cookies on the couch, so not really up for it. But I got a very impressive dick pic out of it, which I treasure to this day. He was exactly what I needed when I needed it. What a precious, perfect man! What a gentleman and a scholar.

Also they found the cat, so disaster averted I guess?

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