Social Question

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Supposing you could choose the family you were going to be born into, let's say you knew the circumstances you would be entering just before you came into this world. Would you choose the same parents again?

Asked by ZEPHYRA (21499points) April 25th, 2015

Would you go the same way or choose a totally different way. I would choose the same parents a million times over but hopefully my major life decisions would be different.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

36 Answers

Afos22's avatar

No. Baby boomers are the worst.

dxs's avatar

Depends. What are my other options? If it’s a lottery, I’d take my parents.

Mimishu1995's avatar

Uhm… tough decision. I love my parents but sometimes I wish they could be more open-minded. If I changed, I might have what I want but I would never see them again. I can’t really decide…

ZEPHYRA's avatar

@Afos22 what upsets you about the baby boomers?

tinyfaery's avatar

Hell, to the motherfuckin’ no.

Afos22's avatar

@ZEPHYRA Ya know. This and that. lol

ibstubro's avatar

I was going to apologize for profanity this answer, but,
Fuck no.

marinelife's avatar

I think that I would choose to struggle with different issues, so no.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

A huge, huge part of me wants to say, “FUCK NO, I wouldn’t choose the same parents!” Their parenting was beyond horrible, and my childhood really screwed me up in a lot of ways.

However… it’s not that easy for me to answer – only because I met some people along the way that I never would have met if it wasn’t for my fucked up life, and the idea that I wouldn’t have been able to meet them makes me really sad. So… I’m not sure. It’s a tough question for me.

Uasal's avatar

Ah ha ha! Hahaha! Bwah ha ha ha haaaaaa-no.

snowberry's avatar

Not a chance. Even if you paid me any amount of money.

jerv's avatar

With no guarantee who would replace them or how things would turn out differently, no, I wouldn’t. If you ever watched The Butterfly Effect, you’d know what I mean.

Apparently_Im_The_Grumpy_One's avatar

I would choose the same. The best part of my life so far was my childhood. They made that happen.

fluthernutter's avatar

Despite all of their flaws, I love them too much to choose otherwise. Plus, I wouldn’t be me without them. All of it…nature, nurture and neurosis.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

I’d choose the same parents. I just wish they could have both lived longer.

ucme's avatar

But that would be taking a giant shit on your actual parents, so no.

Uasal's avatar

Um… Are we all saying “no” because the question was unclear?

I’m saying no because my mother is a tragic waste of carbon, and I can’t bring myself to care about her enough to hate her. I would never choose to live with her.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I would choose the same parents, my childhood wasn’t that bad, only thing I might change is skipping the part meeting the asshole that mom would eventually leave dad for.

janbb's avatar

@Uasal I didn’t find the question unclear. I’m saying no because my mother was a manipulative narcissist and my Dad ineffectual and they didn’t protect me from an abuser.

canidmajor's avatar

I would choose my Dad, I would opt for a different mother.

CaddieDogGuy's avatar

I would choose differently. The man who provided for me was mentally abuse and never let escape an opportunity to belittle my mother, minorities, or any one different than he. My Mom was passive aggressive and permitted abuse because she was weak and didn’t want to either stand up for what was right. She eventually divorced him and he left her penniless. He died alone and was cremated because no one, not even his four other children would pay for a casket or funeral plot. He praised Hitler, but was too much of a coward to be public about his racism, bigotry, and ultra right wing-based hatred. My Mom will die alone too for passively abandoning me in my childhood to his abuse and for defending him to this day rather than admit she spent her lifetime refusing to defend and protect her first-born son. May they both receive the afterlife their spiritual provides to them.

cookieman's avatar

Questions like this are tough.

On the one hand, would I like to have skipped out on the drama, chain smoking, addictions, mental illness, and screaming? Sure.

But on the other hand, I would also have missed out on all the great stuff (and there was plenty of that too).

Ultimately, I’m me because of and in spite of everything and everyone in my life. So, no.

janbb's avatar

^^ Can’t one still be oneself – just with different parents? :-P

cookieman's avatar

@janbb: I don’t think so. I’m pretty convinced that “nurture” plays such a significant role that different parents = different experiences and circumstances = different you.

anniereborn's avatar

@cookieman Yep, I agree with you there. I’d be okay with being a different person. There are definitely some things I love about who I am. But, I’d say they scales tip over more the other way.

Coloma's avatar

I’d choose to be born a completely different species. haha
Maybe a turtle ( life of leisure, I love swimming and virtually no predators ) or…a pet that belonged to someone like me.

@Afos22 Hey there dude, no boomer bashing, and, besides, there are several segments to the boomer population. I’m a young boomer at 55 and quite an awesome person. Don’t be a cocksure young buck and lump millions of people under one blanket that has been soiled by a few.
The boomer generation is responsible for many, important social changes, environmental changes, civil rights and of course, we were the leaders of the pioneers of the rock-n-roll era.
Lots of good things arose from the the boomer zone.

talljasperman's avatar

Same mom different dad.

Inspired_2write's avatar

Yes I would.
Also in Buddhism in regards to their beliefs in Reincarnation it states
that every Soul chooses their life path in this World in order to learn and teach.
Bascially we are here to learn lessons in whatever form it takes to impress upon
each of us our lessons and then impart those insights into teaching the world to
be a better place.
I found that an interesting concept, that gives hope to all who had survived what
seemed hopeless situations during their lives to become much stronger
individuals because of it and not destroyed by it.
It teaches courage and how we as individuals can overcome some dire
circumstances and can still come out ahead to teach hope to others.
Yes I would still pick my family as in the process of many challenges that
we as a family faced we have come far in our understanding of the human
condition to be able to become strong in the face of adversity anyways.
I always find different Philosophical viewpoints interesting so I am always open
reading about them.

sahID's avatar

Absolutely different parents living in a different part of the country (the greater New York/Tri-State area comes to mind). My mother battled a variety of health issues—asthma, Systemic Lupus Erythematosis and cancer, for starters—all of her life. My dad was even worse: as a high-functioning Asperger’s Syndrome adult, he was unable to cope with many areas of life, was hopeless when it came to managing his finances, was hyper religious to an extreme degree, and generally made life miserable for everyone around him.

Plus, replacing my mother would also get rid of her family, which included an uncle who was a violence-oriented bigot who hated Native Americans with a passion, hated my dad, and used threats of violence to coerce me into majoring in business (instead of science) in college. (His sole remark when I told him I was a chemistry major was “Chemistry? You can’t get a job (he pronounced it “jeb”) with a degree in chemistry.”)

With different parents, as has already been touched on in this thread, I would meet different people, visit different places, have different experiences, but I don’t see those differences as negatives. Yes, I would be different than I am now, but I see that as a good thing.

stanleybmanly's avatar

Oh yes, I would keep my parents. The only handicap involved with my childhood was the fact that things were so good that I had (have) no desire to grow up.

snowberry's avatar

And to clarify, I wouldn’t go back and do it again because although what I went through in childhood made me what I am today, it was so excruciating I’d never ever sign up to do it again. God has healed me of all of the pain of my childhood now. And because of that, I can now speak with credibility into the lives of people who are going through painful times themselves.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

@Uasal No, the question was also clear for me. But I’m not even going to list the biggest reasons a large part of me wanted to answer “no” to having the same parents again.

OpryLeigh's avatar

I would choose my dad a million times over. He is a great man and did everything he could to make sure my brother and I had the best start in life despite some shit situations and financial hurdles.

I love my mother but some of her choices (some of which were due to mental health problems admittedly) during my childhood have made me struggle at times with our relationship. I wouldn’t choose a different mother necessarily but I would change the parts of her the affected my childhood and our relationship negatively.

cazzie's avatar

Nope. There is no way being the last, unwanted child of 9 was a good start.

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther