Social Question

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

How important is it to women in general (not counting your personal feelings) for women to feel attractive and sexy?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (26821points) April 30th, 2015

disclaimer This question is generally applied to the female populace where you live, not worldwide or in cultures or nations you don’t reside, your personal endorsement or aversion notwithstanding.

Thinking of the culture you live in, how important is it in general for women to feel sexy, attractive, and desirable by men? To gain your consensus use media, personal experiences through friends, family and acquaintances, etc. No one will have an all-inclusive idea, but from the facts present one should have an idea that is at least better than 50% on the mark.

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10 Answers

josie's avatar

If I did not occasionally give GF feedback that she was attractive and sexy, I would risk that she would be distracted by someone who did.
On the other hand she returns the favor by BEING attractive and sexy.
I think the word is symbiosis

Mariah's avatar

It is hard for me to speak on behalf of all women in my culture.

I think it is fairly important to most people that they feel sexy or at least comfortable in their own skin. I think there is a big difference between the desire to feel sexy and the desire to feel desired by men. I like to look nice on days when I won’t see my boyfriend and I’m certainly not aiming to be eye candy for other men. It is just a self-esteem thing. I feel best when I feel I look my best. I think that’s pretty common.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Mariah I think it is fairly important to most people that they feel sexy or at least comfortable in their own skin.
At the crux of the biscuit being comfortable in your skin and being sexy are not the same. A person can be comfortable in their skin by walking around a nude beach with all their cottage cheese, bulges and saddler bags hanging out and not care or feel ashamed. That is not the same as one who can walk the beach uninhibited but still have guys snapping their heads around and trying to stem off a raging erection.

OpryLeigh's avatar

I can only speak for myself and my female friends but I think @Mariah hit the nail on the head. I too like to look and feel attractive even on days where I won’t be seeing anyone. I’m not consumed by my appearance but I do make an effort and it is important to me that my boyfriend finds me attractive and sexy.

Most of my friends appear to make the same sort of effort that I do. I have other friends who clearly don’t find looking attractive as important, I’m not saying they look rough or unattractive, but they don’t go to the lengths that many women do to look pretty (make up, hair, clothes etc). They obviously feel comfortable enough in their own skin that they don’t need to worry about those things.

jca's avatar

Since the question specifies women in general without my personal feelings, it’s hard for me to say about women in general. I can only say for myself (in other words, my own personal feelings) because that’s all I really know. I know for myself, I try to look good so I feel confident. I do my hair and put on makeup and decent clothes so I feel proud of myself. At work, my day might include a sudden, unscheduled meeting with a politician or government official so I have to be ready and looking my best. I don’t dress “corporate” as I work in a casual office but I still look good and ready to go. If I don’t look good, I don’t feel good and then I don’t project confidence. Sexy? Maybe sometimes. Attractive? I hope so.

Mariah's avatar

I said feel sexy. Not be sexy.

marinelife's avatar

I think it is very important for anyone to feel sexy and lovable, male or female. Sadly, our culture has weird standard. Here is a sketch that perfectly illustrates the dichotomy in our culture between men and women.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@jca I can only say for myself (in other words, my own personal feelings) because that’s all I really know.
When you are with female friends, and work colleagues, etc. you people never talk bangs, no bangs, no baggy sweats in the big box, don’t wear Ugg boots with ”mom jeans”, tint, no tint, etc.? Men’s opinions when it comes to cars or lawns, but the conversation has come up enough over the years I have a general idea of what men think about them; that is even before any reinforcement by the media.

@marinelife Here is a sketch that perfectly illustrates the dichotomy in our culture between men and women.
Aside I would not watch that at my cubicle at Oracle, or Morgan Stanley (the content and language was maybe NSFW) biologically men can go longer, as in being a parent, more than women. A 60 year old man can still put one in the oven, but a 55 year old woman on average needs medical help.

marinelife's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central Youre premise assumes that “fuckable” means able to procreate, which I reject.

fundevogel's avatar

“How important is it in general for women to feel sexy, attractive, and desirable by men?”

I think what makes this question interesting is that it differenciates between feeling sexy in and of itself and feeling sexy to other people.  The first is the desirable, but it’s the second that is most perpetuated.  It’s sad that women and girls are constantly measured according to standards that  have nothing to do with their preferences or character but with their ability to intuit and satisfy other people’s expectations.  It’s one of the reasons this is the only social site I visit.  It makes me sick when I see people ripping others apart over impossible standards.

Speaking for me personally, I don’t really feel the need to feel sexy much of the time.  I know I can doll up and I think I do it pretty well, but most of the time I just like to feel good about how I look.  I’m not trying to attract anyone with my appearance so I just do what I do and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.

I will say this though.  I think we are poorer for the narrow scope of female beauty portrayed in the media.  Beauty has never been just one thing.

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