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beautifuldreamingstars's avatar

What is the best way I can deal with a creepy living situation with my landlord?

Asked by beautifuldreamingstars (163points) September 25th, 2015

Hello Fluther Friends,

I used to be on here a long time ago. I joined again because I want to know the best way I can deal with a current situation I am going through.

I HOPE I am just being overly paranoid. I hope. But I’d rather be safe than sorry. I just want personal opinion of what to do I guess.

I didn’t know this when I first moved into my place but my landlord is a registered sex offender. I wasn’t smart enough to Google his name. I loved the price and the area. It wasn’t until a few months ago that I found out. I did some digging and I think he used to be an elementary teacher way back… There’s 2 different mugshots of him. One looks older like decades ago, and the other looks very recent. The landlord is about 58 now. I don’t know what he did or what happened. I was molested as a little girl so living with a pedophile or registered sex offender feels very creepy and “close to home” to me… Literally :(
I feel disgusted for living around this guy… But then again the good in me says that I should not judge and I do not know what happened…. But let me say that my landlord actually LOOKS creepy. And acts creepy. He’s 6’3 big guy (230 pounds) and acts very very sweet and gentle/kind. Like almost too friendly…. He also wears the same thing everyday which are overalls. One time he knocked on my door and he smelled absolutely horrible like sh*t and I thought I was going to puke. I held my breath in until he left and I felt like throwing up because he smelled that bad. I feel horrible for saying all this because I WANT to believe that I should NOT feel scared….... This guy LOOKS like a creep. I know that sounds horrible to say. But please believe me. The other roomate is an older woman (there’s 3 tenants total-me, the other girl, and the military guy) who said that when her boyfriend first saw our landlord he said he looked like a pedophile.

Recently our landlord has installed 14 cameras that we know of inside and outside the house. This is very creepy to ALL of us. Even my other roomate is a tough military veteran and he thinks the camera are freaking weird…..

The landlord basically put cameras everywhere in and outside the house so it has most angles… 3 in the kitchen, 2 in the hallway on the way to the bathroom… Outside the house 2 and in the backyard… The driveway.. On the roof, in front of the mail box…. Different places.. At first I only thought there were 9 cameras.. Then my roomie told me there were 12… and we discovered 2 more today (in the drivway and one on the roof).

I completely understand if people want to have cameras or home alarm systems for protection. My mother is a small Asian woman and I would want her to be safe always. So I would encourage my mom to get a home alarm. I completely understand this. But this man has (that we know of) 14 cameras… That seems a lot… Me and the 2 other roomates feel VERY uncomfortable… Especially knowing that he is a registered sex offender….

It does not feel like he put the cameras for safety… It feels more like voyeurism… I know that this is his house so he can do what he wants… and he put them in the public areas… but given the very creepy nature I am fearful there might be hidden cameras. I don’t feel safe in my own space and this is a horrible feeling to have.

I have 2 huge windows that have no blinds and sometimes I get scared if he might have placed cameras outside the house looking through my window. I hope that I sound crazy. I get this gut feeling because of his record… because he gives off a creepy vibe…. very friendly soft spoken voice…. cameras everywhere so it feels like he’s paranoid or he’s watching us…

My roomate also said that she saw him looking on his phone different times watching the camera… I guess there are apps now that you can watch cameras through your smartphone??? I didn’t even know this was possible… So it’s freaky to think he’s watching us in real time from his phone…..

Me and the 3 other roomates are all nice and friendly with one another. So he has absolutely no reason to place 14 if any cameras. What is he afraid of? It feels more like I am trapped INSIDE…... One of my friends said that it’s because of his record he’s so paranoid…

The gate to go in and out of the house is very hard to get in and out of also… He has a contraption that makes noise loud whenever you open and lock the key. He also built a fence on TOP of the gate… So that you can’t jump or hop over the gate… It feels like we are trapped… Either he is keeping others out or keeping us trapped in… If there was a fire or emergency no on would be able to jump over the gate or leave quickly…

There are signs posted all over the house “24 hour camera” and he also has a paper on the gate posted that said any guests visiting were supposed to show their I.D to Bob. Also “Beware of Dog” even though there isn’t a dog… What is he afraid of?

I’m thinking either he is overly paranoid…. obviously is an odd guy… is a pervert of a voyeur… or maybe he’s known for being a sex offender in the neighborhood? I know it is his house and he can place any cameras he wants… but given the situation I feel creeped out like he placed those cameras to spy on us…

In another situation I was parked out on the street because I had just gotten home. The landlord had pulled up behind me and entered the driveway. He had to unlock and open the gate. A group of teenage kids were walking by. As they passed my car they were all joking like “Whooo… I bet he has people captured in there…” joking like that guy was a weirdo keeping us captives… But I can’t believe they said that because it feels true.

Maybe I’ve seen too many horrors movies… But it feels like this is one or is becoming one….

I am giving my notice to move out on October 1rst so I’ll be in a new place November… I’m happy for that but moving is very stressful. The area is beautiful but the landlord is just a weirdo.

How would you guys handle this situation??? I want to buy a small weapon… My roomie also brought up that they have hidden camera detectors… I will probably get that to just make sure (or hope) there aren’t any hidden cameras anywhere…

People say to always follow your gut feeling…. I hope I’m just being paranoid….. but it feels so odd.

I try to avoid the guy as much as I can. When he talks to me I just try to be friendly… I don’t want to cause drama… Like I said I don’t know what he did…. But everything put together makes me feel very uneasy. I feel like I’m an easy target too. I’m a slim, very petite, young asian girl living on her own. This guy is 6’3 and big boned. Like a lumberjack. I’m thinking of having friends sleep over just to keep me company because I don’t feel safe sleeping alone.

I don’t feel safe enough to sleep here at times. Sometimes I hear noise outside my window when I’m sleeping and PRAY it is a small animal or something… Like a cat. I feel like I’m being watched. But again I hope I’m just paranoid and hearing things…

It sucks because I already paid rent… So I can’t really not sleep here.. It would be a waste of money what am I going to complain that I feel creeped out??? Plus I don’t have a place to stay yet.

I feel like I can’t say anything to him either because I’ll need his reference when I move out… I’m a young adult and trying to build a good credit history so I need good reputation. I don’t want this landlord to tell another landlord that I wasn’t a good tenant or something.. So in a way I feel like I can’t tell him face to face that I feel uncomfortable around him.

I know I will give my notice to move out October 1rst… I guess I’m trying to handle this situation the best way I can…. Living with a sex offender while I was molested as a little girl is hard to deal with. I don’t want to say anything to the guy ever. I don’t even want to smile at him. I try to stay away and avoid him as much as I can. I want to get a small weapon, and cover my windows with towels….. and also get a hidden camera detector… Now that I think about it I don’t even know or remember seeing the landlord put up all the cameras :(

I hope I’m being too paranoid… I hope I watch too many horror movies as a kid :( It just feels voyeuristic…. I know I can’t do anything though because he is the owner of the house.

I don’t know how to handle this situation. Should I just keep my cool and distance myself from the landlord???

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61 Answers

Adagio's avatar

You obviously feel uncomfortable living in this situation, why not just move out?
Edit: just to clarify, I mean move out straight away rather than wait until November.…

DrasticDreamer's avatar

Wait… What? Did I read that correctly? You said that he placed cameras inside of the house that you’re renting from him?

beautifuldreamingstars's avatar

The cameras are recent. I am moving out. I am giving my notice soon to move out (this week). My question is how to handle the situation while still here.

beautifuldreamingstars's avatar

The hallway, in the kitchen, yes.

rojo's avatar

Scary stuff, Oct. 1 is only a few days away, make sure you have a place to stay and get out as soon as your lease is up.

beautifuldreamingstars's avatar

Yes for sure. Thanks I am.

Buttonstc's avatar

From what you’ve described with cameras in common areas, this sounds like a house share rather than an apt. If this is the case and it were me, I would get out ASAP.

Your FIRST priority should be your personal safety (not money or whether this guy will give you a good reference).

Is there any amount of money you could save that would be worth it if you get brutally raped?

Your gut instinct is there for a reason and it is screaming to you to get out of there as quickly as possible. LISTEN TO IT !

Can you stay with friends or family temporarily until you can move into another place?

If worst comes to worst, look for something on Craigs List. At least that way you can ask for references of past renters plus your own sense of the person.

Whatever you do, you need to leave. NOW !

beautifuldreamingstars's avatar

Very scary you have no idea

beautifuldreamingstars's avatar

And the thing that scares me is if there are hidden cameras. I’m scared to find out.

rojo's avatar

Remember, just because you are paranoid doesn’t mean you are wrong. Chances are he just likes looking but be sure not to give him anything to look at over the next 6 days.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

@beautifuldreamingstars What state do you live in? I don’t think it’s legal in any states for landlords to place cameras inside of the homes they rent. You are renting the house, which means that, even though he owns it, while you pay rent it is your home, your personal space. I’m pretty sure you could call the police for that.

beautifuldreamingstars's avatar

I’m in Los Angeles, California. I’m going to go to the police tomorrow. I’m thinking of getting a hidden camera detector. @DrasticDreamer

rojo's avatar

I think @DrasticDreamer it would depend on whether or not he is living in the place. If it is his place and he is just renting bedrooms he probably can justify it. At least in the common areas.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

@rojo Yeah, true.

@beautifuldreamingstars Does he live in the house with you guys?

rojo's avatar

Check to see if there is one outside your big windows looking in. Just don’t be obvious about it. If there is then that will tell you whether or not he is paranoid or a perv.

Buttonstc's avatar


It sounds more like a house share situation where the landlord himself also lives on the premises. If that’s the case, he can put cameras in public areas. And that’s why she is unsafe there.

But I’m still waiting for her to clarify the situation specifically.

beautifuldreamingstars's avatar

Yes he does…. He sleeps in the living room on a fold up bed… He has a big tv and I’ve walked by and seen the cameras on the television recording. Very uneasy. I don’t know why he would have 14 (that we so far know of) cameras in the house. I think he has some sort of delusion or mental illness. @DrasticDreamer

rojo's avatar

I would be interested to hear what the police have to say. They might even have something you can borrow to check out your personal space (but unlikely).

DrasticDreamer's avatar

@beautifuldreamingstars Ah, okay. In that case, unfortunately, @rojo is right. Because he lives there and owns the home, he can do whatever he wants in the public areas. But you’re definitely right to be cautious, and I would, if I were you, very carefully check your bedroom and the bathroom for any cameras.

You might be wrong, and he could just have problems and be really paranoid, but there’s definitely nothing wrong with being safe, rather than sorry.

beautifuldreamingstars's avatar

He recently put the cameras in. I truly believe it’s to keep us in, watch us, or he is overly paranoid. It’s really scary. He has the strange gate contraption also that makes it difficult to enter and leave the premises.

It’s not for safety. He’s a big guy and can handle an attacker or robber. I understand 1 or 2 cameras. But 14???

beautifuldreamingstars's avatar

You’re right that’s true better safe than sorry. We are good tenants and get along so he has no reason to put 14 cameras. It just feels so uneasy. Almost like he’s doing it on purpose.

Cameras are supposed to be safe but it feels more like voyeurism.

rojo's avatar

How long have the cameras been up? Has he been adding to them over the course of a few months?

In six days you need to be out, I would say that if you can get out sooner then do it. The loss of a few bucks is nothing.

Buttonstc's avatar

Since he also lives in the house, you REALLY REALLY need to get out of there.

You do realize that with those cameras he can keep tabs on when you and your roommates are in or out.

With the size differential between you and him, every time your military guy roommate is out, YOU ARE VULNERABLE.

I don’t care how you do it BUT GET OUT.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

@beautifuldreamingstars As for the gate thing, as renters, that I’m positive about: He needs to, legally, allow you easy access to enter and leave the premises on your own terms. So I would definitely talk to the cops about that part of it.

rojo's avatar

Do you have a friend who will put you up for a few days until your new place becomes available? You do have a new place lined up right?

beautifuldreamingstars's avatar

The cameras have been up for a week or two. I barely noticed them because they are hidden well. I only thought there were 9 at first but my roomate showed me 12 and then noticed 2 more today.

I’ve never seen this man put up ANY of the cameras… I have no idea when he placed them all throughout the house. Probably a day when everyone else was gone. This is so scary.

Thanks everyone. I’m going to give my notice and move out ASAP.

Buttonstc's avatar

If you bring the cops over there, even tho you may be completely right about the gate and the cameras, you are STILL VULNERABLE.

Plus he may get vengeful or feel he has nothing to lose. Do you really want to continue staying in such a dangerous situation?

rojo's avatar

Then no question, give him the notice, stay with the friends for the next week.

beautifuldreamingstars's avatar

No I don’t. I needed to hear this confirmation. I trust my gut feeling. I would rather be safe than sorry. I just wanted input. Thanks everyone. This is the weirdest situation I’ve ever been in and don’t even know how he’ll rent the rooms out with the cameras and “24 hour surveillance” signs everywhere. @Buttonstc

DrasticDreamer's avatar

@beautifuldreamingstars Yes, please just go and be safe. But definitely do let the police know – even if they only drive by to check things out and look at the gate. But tell them about all of it.

Let us know how it goes if you get the chance. Maybe just to update us when you’re out so we can know you’re safe.

beautifuldreamingstars's avatar

My gut feeling is telling me this could be a horror movie waiting to happen. I’m gonna move out quick now that I know I wasn’t just being paranoid.

Buttonstc's avatar

Always Always pay attention to your gut instinct.

You are no longer the powerless child who was molested. You are an adult now and have every right to take control over any circumstance in your life in which you don’t feel safe.

BTW: Take only the bare minimum of what you’ll need for overnight. Then come back for the rest of your things when you can have several friends with you (at least one of whom should be male.)

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

This may seem insensitive, but the real in the deal is always better. If he looked ”creepy”, as you say, and was not a RSO, and when you Googled him you found out he was a Poet Laureate, president of the local MENSA chapter, or he was kicked out of the FBI for indiscretions, etc. would you feel just as weirded out? Just be real, you are judging him off his past. Why, all of the camera? Because there are other people like you judging him off his past and might do more than just move out. Maybe because you guys act weird around him and he feels he cannot trust you guys that one of you will try to waylay him in the hallway for something that happened quite some time ago, if your depiction of his mug shots were correct. Look at it this way, if I thought you were a racist, and because of that, avoided speaking to you, being in the same room as you, not even looking at you and if I do, it is as if I am spying on you, you might feel I was a racist and adjust your conduct accordingly. If he was the type of pedophile you want him to be, chances are you are not in his ”age appetite” so there would be no danger for you. IMO 80% paranoia, 10% actual concern and 10% who knows.

rojo's avatar

One final thing, clear out in the daylight, don’t wait until evening. You are paid up ‘till the end of the month but that doesn’t mean you have to stay there. Just think of it as an expensive storage locker until you get your stuff out. And, pay attention to what @Buttonstc said about taking friends with you, the more the better.

rojo's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central you may be 100% correct but if she is not comfortable around him and the things he does weird her out, no reason to stay. Just GTF outa Dodge.

Buttonstc's avatar


She said he was a registered sex offender NOT NECESSARILY a pedophile.

And your advice might have some merit if she were a powerful guy who was an even match for him.

But the plain fact is that she is the vulnerable one here. You might not mind living in the same house as guy with BO so bad you have to hold your breath.

But there is absolutely no reason for her to put her life on the line.

You go and live with him, OK?

DrasticDreamer's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central I agree that you can’t label someone as “creepy” simply because of what they look like, however, you can judge someone for two prior sex crimes. His mugshot doesn’t say what kind of sex crimes he committed, so he might not be a pedophile at all. She does have reason to be concerned about his past convictions.

beautifuldreamingstars's avatar

I am even scared to put up drapes or a towel to cover up the windows because he’s suspect I’m onto him or think I’m being watched.

beautifuldreamingstars's avatar

I am judging him as a whole. Given the situation, how he acts, what he says, the way he says things, EVERYTHING. My roomate said she saw him walking him in his underwear once. She also said the he mentioned he had a bad childhood. I am judging this entire situation as a whole. The fact that he has 14 cameras. The fact that he used to be a teacher. I am judging the situation as a whole. @Hypocrisy_Central

Buttonstc's avatar

Please feel free to ignore the advice of @Hypocrisy_Central

He has a well-worn track record of sticking up for sex offenders. Have no idea why. But his record of sticking up for them speaks for itself.

Listen to your gut instinct.

rojo's avatar

@beautifuldreamingstars Something to consider; if I were going to install hidden cameras in peoples private spaces, I sure as hell would not suddenly put them up fourteen obivous ones up all over the place in plain sight and get people all concerned about their presence.

beautifuldreamingstars's avatar

You don’t understand. We are all friendly with one another. The landlord makes an effort to speak to me. He always says hi.I am friendly and respond “hello” or “bye” if we see one another. I do not act “weird” around him. Everyone is polite to one another. However I am polite only because that is my nature. My gut feeling is telling me I’m in danger. He has no reasons to put cameras up whatsoever.

It seems as if you are taking my post personally….. @Hypocrisy_Central

beautifuldreamingstars's avatar

Oh I definitely am… It already shows that he took my post personally it seems… I will listen to my gut instinct. @Buttonstc

beautifuldreamingstars's avatar

I’m judging the situation by the present moment. And in this present moment it feels very creepy. Please don’t take my post personally. I am a good person and would not act “weird” or disrespectful towards someone. My landlord is a registered sex offender and is currently acting strange so I’m judging this situation as a whole… Do you understand? I am not saying he is an evil person however I do not feel safe. @Hypocrisy_Central

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@rojo […_you may be 100% correct but if she is not comfortable around him and the things he does weird her out, no reason to stay. Just GTF outa Dodge._
It was not about if she should move or not, it was about her depiction of him being creepy and seeming to cleave it to his legal record. I was just wondering if she would still feel him as creepy if he had no prison record but was in fact seen as one of the most upstanding members of the community.

@Buttonstc She said he was a registered sex offender NOT NECESSARILY a pedophile.
And your advice might have some merit if she were a powerful guy who was an even match for him.
Does has merit, however, there is a point there, but let’s remove the RSO status would he still be as creepy and quasi dangerous? Would he in actuality be less dangerous if he were a Poet Laureate, the president of the local MENSA chapter or a retired FBI agent, truthfully?

You go and live with him, OK?
If I really needed a place to stay and my change was strange, my dough was low, and my money was funny, if he wasn’t living in a place equivalent to North Richmond, Ca I would.

He has a well-worn track record of sticking up for sex offenders. Have no idea why.
When I stuck up for a kid who was arrested for having a bomb more than likely because he was from the Middle East, I had no idea he was a sex offender, or those poor souls ferreted away to GITMO simply because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. I guess I should be selective on who deserves a fair break. Why? I would find myself laughable if I were saying equality and a fair shake to all but put an asterisk on it with people to be excluded as exceptions; just cannot wear my hypocrisy that way.

@DrasticDreamer I agree that you can’t label someone as “creepy” simply because of what they look like, however, you can judge someone for two prior sex crimes.
The operative word here is he is registered, so the info has to be updated, the newer one might have nothing to do with a new crime but to let people know what he looks like now, so they can shrug their shoulders and go on with their live or get scared that they see him at the post office.

@beautifuldreamingstars It seems as if you are taking my post personally….]
Believe me, I am not. If you want to move, you will, it has nothing to do with me. Unlike some, I will attempt to filter it from all sides from a perfectly logical sense, as many say they are but often don’t live it. If I were to rent a room from a guy who was always polishing his shotguns, had a portrait of General Robert E. Lee on the wall and fling the Union Jack out from, I could make all sorts of realities of who he was or is, even if he in his college days was arrested for beating up Blacks, but if his dealing with me was upright, polite and such, logic tells me he has a good chance of not being the person my mind could manufacture him to be. People believe people to be or not to be many things off the way they dress, live, their past, etc., often times off nothing but how they feel, ”a gut feeling”, if that is the case then they should own it, even if it is as real as the spooky shadow one sees at night that turns out to be just the fence line and a large oak by morning. If his past conjures up bad memories, then move, it would be no different than if you were from the Middle East and was tortured in Abu Ghraib and found out the person you were renting from was an former marine, you may not feel comfortable there.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central One or two sex crimes, it doesn’t make a difference. Even one sex crime should be enough to put her on high alert and make her extremely cautious. Can people change? Sure. But she has no way of knowing whether or not he has and she is under no obligation to give him the benefit of the doubt. It would, in actuality, be the more dangerous thing to do since, statistically, sex offenders are usually repeat offenders.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Go over to the police and tell them. Ask about where you stand as regards the inside cameras.
Do NOT tell anyone about going to the police, not even your fellow-tenants!

jca's avatar

If you’re looking to leave asap, I wouldn’t raise too much of a ruckus if I were you. You’re leaving, you’re looking for a drama-free exit and you know you’re leaving within the next few weeks. After that, if you want to go to the police and inform them that he is possibly up to no good, that’s ok but while you’re there and your belongings are there, you just want out and you want no repercussions.

dxs's avatar

Leave. You should not have to worry about things like this. Home should be a comfortable place, so the uneasiness will creep into your other daily activities.
I’d just bring up the situation with the police. Let them know what’s going on but don’t do any more than that.
Are you on a lease and did you give the landlord last month’s rent?

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@DrasticDreamer Can people change? Sure. But she has no way of knowing whether or not he has and she is under no obligation to give him the benefit of the doubt. It would, in actuality, be the more dangerous thing to do since, statistically, sex offenders are usually repeat offenders.
The real issue is if she is in danger or just imagines she is in danger. Because she knows he committed a sex crime in the past she is in more danger of him, when the reality she is no more or no less in danger if the man was a retired FBI agent, unless she or anyone else is clairvoyant enough to know what is going on in his head or what he will do before he does it. Again, people form opinion of a lot of things that are unproven, looks like something it isn’t, etc. if she is uncomfortable for whatever the reason, then she should move rather than walk on eggshells all of the time.

Sex offenders have a lower recidivism rate overall than other crimes, that has been covered in a past thread, at this time I cannot remember and have to time to locate, but that is a popular myth that wins elections.

Buttonstc's avatar


You have the sequence of events BACKWARD.

She did not know PRIOR TO moving in that he had a criminal record.

HIS OWN demeanor and actions are what gave her the creeps.

THEN she checked him out.


Plus, you keep conveniently ignoring the fact that he is a really big and powerful guy. He could easily overcome her.

Due to the 14 cameras (that are obvious) he has the ability to keep tabs on everyone.

When her male army guy housemate is not there, she is VERY VULNERABLE.

You keep ignoring they salient fact as if it doesn’t matter. To you it may not matter because you’re a guy. She is small and petite and no match for him.

She doesn’t owe you or anyone else an apology for her self preservation instinct. You don’t think he’s done anything to merit this degree of caution.

His arrest record says otherwise.

beautifuldreamingstars's avatar

You do not understand. I am judging this situation as a WHOLE. So it is NOT ONLY that he used to be an elementary school teacher and is a registered sex offender… It is the way he acts also… The fact he put up 14 or more cameras. This is NOT IMAGINED DANGER.

Sometimes I HEAR noises outside of my room at night…. Am I imaging this fake danger? No I am not. So given the fact that he’s a registered sex offender, acts and talks creepy, looks creepy, seems paranoid, there are no blinds on the windows, the fence/gate contraption he built….PLUS I hear noises outside of my window….

I am not “imagining” this danger nor would I judge someone because of their past.

You judged me and assumed I am solely judging my landlord because of his past.

This is not the case.

Just because a man is a sex offender doesn’t mean I would act rudely or strangely towards him. I would have to know his crime and the circumstances.

However because of everything that is happening… I am putting the pieces of the puzzle together and everything together is a bad situation.

I am a nice, kind and compassionate person. Please do not judge me and assume I judge people solely on their past.

I am judging his present and his present is very very creepy.

Does not matter if he was the Pope, President or Mother Teresa in his past—I am judging the present moment. You seem to have failed to understand this.


Buttonstc's avatar

Please stop wasting time and effort trying to justify yourself to him. I honestly can’t tell whether he’s being this dense on purpose or whether he really is that stupid. People can make up their own minds on that.

But more importantly, do you have concrete plans on leaving ? When are you leaving? That’s what you need to be putting your energy into.

Do you really care what a guy on the Internet (Hypo) thinks about you? Why? He has no ability to affect your life in any positive way.

Have you talked with your roommates and do you have a definite friends place lined up to stay until you can move into your new place?

Please let us know when you’re somewhere safe. We are concerned for you and wishing you the best. Stay safe.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Buttonstc She did not know PRIOR TO moving in that he had a criminal record.
HIS OWN demeanor and actions are what gave her the creeps.
Yet, that fact of his past keeps popping up front row center. If he gave her the creeps before she knew anything of his past, then her leaving should be based solely on that and whatever was before, a prison record, Congressional Medal of Honor, or anything else would be a non-factor. He has a history from high school, and who knows what else but none of that is injected into the ”now” and what is going on with him.

Plus, you keep conveniently ignoring the fact that he is a really big and powerful guy. He could easily overcome her.
I am not, I am pointing out that just because he is not smallish, doesn’t mean he is more dangerous and some small guy was safer, you cannot quantify who is dangerous or not by their size. If she has high anxiety due to his size compared to hers that is a personal determination with little teeth to back it up; if he was the same size or a midget, she could be just as at risk because he could use a weapon and she in actuality would be no safer, it would just seem like it.

She doesn’t owe you or anyone else an apology for her self preservation instinct.
Did I ask for some apology? She did nothing to me. I even said, if anyone has discomfort about something
Involving their living to the point they can’t rest and be all wound up, no matter how real or imagined, they should leave, or get away from it.

I honestly can’t tell whether he’s being this dense on purpose or whether he really is that stupid.
Was that a back hand cut? I surely am not dense because I choose to run with the logic. But I guess people don’t like logic when it doesn’t agree with them.

@beautifuldreamingstars Sometimes I HEAR noises outside of my room at night…. Am I imaging this fake danger? No I am not. So given the fact that he’s a registered sex offender, acts and talks creepy, looks creepy, seems paranoid, there are no blinds on the windows, the fence/gate contraption he built….PLUS I hear noises outside of my window….
I am not “imagining” this danger nor would I judge someone because of their past.
You judged me and assumed I am solely judging my landlord because of his past.
To you it equates to a real danger, I know people who equate driving to a real danger because of road rage and drunk drivers, that doesn’t necessarily mean every inch of freeway at all times is a dangerous place putting them in imminent peril. You asked for opinion I gave one, if you just wanted confirmation from people, then some have surely done that. Maybe you are not judging him by his past, as you say, you don’t know the details, but it is enough to filter into his now. If he had been a Congressional Medal of Honor recipient, and it would not influence how you feel, safe or otherwise, then neither should a prison record, college transcripts or anything. Everything as a whole, would be today, unless he was doing in the past today and you have good reason to know that activity is going on, or you witnessed it, then it would be the whole, today. The main factor today is that he has all those cameras, acts strange by your qualifications, and thus you feel uneasy; end of story, you move to have peace of mind. I pray and hope you get that soon, if where you go you hear noises, I hope they are not dangers ignored as harmless because you figured that it is supposedly a ”nice neighborhood”, so there is no danger. You have to live for you, so move quickly and get go on with life, problem solved.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Update This practice seems to be not common but used. A home where some painting, and floor work was to be done, the owners who has renters has cameras in every major room, and covering the outside and the garage interior. I am sure the renters are aware of this, and the fact he monitors events and happenings while he is not there. To add come controversy, the owner is not hetero, so I guess we can’t call his actions creepy and such when it is basically the same as the owner the OP speaks of.

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