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MooCows's avatar

Which is easier to raise a son or daughter?

Asked by MooCows (3190points) April 1st, 2016

I have always wondered since I have sons
would girls have been easier to raise?
But some of the wars I have seen with moms
against their daughters I just don’t know.
What is your opinion?

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31 Answers

ucme's avatar

There is no answer here, way too many variables, every parent & child is different.
I have a son & a daughter & both were & still are a delight to bring up, i’d only say that any future boyfriend of my daughter better be prepared for daddy’s scrutiny.

janbb's avatar

I have no basis for comparison since I just had sons bit from observation of other people, I think sons might be easier to raise. But it really depends mainly on the kids – my boys had their issues at times but they weren’t wild, crazy young men.

I agree with @ucme – too many variables.

Seek's avatar

Parenting is hard enough as it is without making sweeping generalizations and trying to one-up each other on difficulty level.

ucme's avatar

Liam Neeson in Taken, that character was written with me in mind, whenever my daughter travels without us i’m a fucking wreck, same with my son but it’s ramped up with daughters, it just is.

elbanditoroso's avatar

Can’t say – I only had daughters.

cookieman's avatar

I can’t say as I only have a daughter, but Louis CK has said in this, “Boys fuck things up. Girls will fuck you up.”

jca's avatar

I think everyone can cite examples of easy boys, easy girls, difficult boys and difficult girls.

What I have heard people say is that boys are more difficult when they’re young, but girls are more difficult when they become teens. I can see from the children of friends that there seem to be different types of problems with boys and girls. As others have said, there are all types. I’m far from a parenting expert as I have only one and so far, so good but she’s only in elementary school. I’m not a perfect parent and she’s not a perfect child and there’s definitely no such thing as a perfect parent or a perfect child.

It’s also an issue of parenting. I have friends with young adult children who are demanding and difficult and nasty when they don’t get their way. They don’t work, don’t help out and yet mommy and daddy hand them nice cars and gas money, while struggling themselves to pay the bills. I have other friends who wouldn’t put up with that shit for one second, and as a result, they don’t have adult children like that.

stanleybmanly's avatar

Seek is right. Before the arrival of my daughter, I made the naive mistake of thinking it was her big brother at risk for stealing cars and legendary gang membership. But the girl was a natural and before the age of 2 it was clear where the great potential as “criminal of the family” resided. The girl had a “gift” for trouble, and by her 3rd birthday the bithday cards from her grandparents (the ones with the folding money) were no longer in envelopes labeled “for college”. Nope. Those envelopes bore titles like “for bail” or “for legal fees”. All of the grandparents, aunts and uncles were convinced that her propensities for crime were the result of our neglect in not having the girl baptized. The wife and I after talking it over, concluded that it would be better to agree to the christening, than face the future wrath of both our families when the kid was a queenpin in the big house. On the day of the big event, we couldn’t believe the turnout. Friends of mine that I knew for a fact had absolutely no interest in such rituals were there in suspicious abundance. I discovered later at the reception that most of them had come with expectations of some sort of demonic show ( The Exorcist was all the rage at the time). There was great anticipation that at minimum, sprinkling the kid with holy water would generate clouds of steam!

Seek's avatar

@stanleybmanly – I would have paid good money to be a fly on the wall at such an event.

Jak's avatar

Which is the most rewarding, boy or girl? Which costs the most? Oooooooo wait. Which would be more difficult, a trans gender boy or trans gender girl? Which is more militant, ISIL or Westboro Baptist? What is this obsession with labeling things as “The Most….” “The Best….”. ” The Saddest…”? It’s ridiculous and necessarily self limiting.

SecondHandStoke's avatar

Both are reared, not raised.

Pandora's avatar

It really depends on the character of the parents and the children. Each have their issues or possible complications.

But this was my own personal problems that I saw in my children but not always in other family or friends.
My son was very loving as a baby and could equally be very mean when his temper flared. It was difficult for him to seem to find a middle ground. Loving but not too trusting, angry but not physical about it or retreating into himself. But the temper flares did not pass the 3 years, the trusting part lasted till he was about 10 and the retreating when angry part is still slightly there and he’s 30 now. He’s still loving but it takes a lot to pass his trust and get their. Luckily he still does have and has always maintain his compassion for others.

My daughter was just too loving and trusting and for many years accepted what others told her. This lasted well into her 20’s.

And my mom use to say, and I believe it to be true. With boys you worry they will go to jail because they were thoughtless and got into some trouble because they trusted the wrong person. With girls you worry they will be raped because they were also thoughtless and trusted the wrong person.

Now some people think girls are easier because they usually aim to please and be the apple in dads eyes. It only last till they are in their teens depending on the child. .
And some think boys are easier because they love being moms baby boys forever and like to please mom. That also only last till puberty depending on the child.

Neither are easy. Even the so called easy children aren’t easy. Compared to some kids, mine were a breeze and compared to others (and that was me from outside looking in) mine were a bit difficult but I didn’t want androids, so I’m ok with what I got.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Mother of 2 girls and one boy. In my experience my son was, by far, the easiest to raise.

Dutchess_III's avatar

So @stanleybmanly, so how did your precious devil angel finally turn out?!

dammitjanetfromvegas's avatar

My daughter has an attitude that my sons never had. They were a piece of cake compared to her. I’m not saying she’s difficult, but emotions do run higher with her.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Yes. Emotions run higher.

filmfann's avatar

My experience, and everyone I know, says girls are much harder to raise.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

All children are individuals. I have both girls and a boy. The challenges we faced were different for each child, regardless of their gender. I can’t say one was harder or easier than the other – just different.

Unofficial_Member's avatar

I assume that you mean raising them from infancy until adulthood (18+). Although each child could possess the same challanges we can say stereotypical gender-behaviour will often define the result. Here are my thoughts of how one gender ranks better than the other in certain aspects:

Cheaper = son
Understanding = daughter
Rebelliousness = son
Boisterousness = both, but most likely sons
‘Bitchiness’ = daughter
Clinginess = daughter
Belligerence = son
Cleanliness/tidiness = daughter
Orderliness = daughter
Solidarity = son
Endurance = son

Here2_4's avatar

It depends on the parents, and how they best weather the actions/attitudes of each. I found my boys to be easier, but it is because their brand of trouble was easier for me personally. Others might have found my daughter’s issues less troublesome. My boys liked to wear food, but I dealt with that by telling them if they’d rather be slimy than eat, fine, but it would mean a bath comes right after. I believe some parents might have real anxiety over sauce in the hair. My daughter, from the time she was able to stand and walk her wobbly, diapered butt across the room, would stand defiantly, and fight to the end of her breath to be an individual, and make her own rules. When that failed, she became very sneaky. She was the only one to ever scream “I hate you, Mom” at me.

Pachy's avatar

I probably don’t deserve a vote because I never had children, but I’ve always felt girls would be tougher.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Interesting list @WhomEverTheHellYouIs. I’m going to copy and edit:

Cheaper = Never an issue. We were broke. Both asked to do jobs around the house if they wanted money

Understanding = Both.

Rebelliousness = Daughter, but only mildly

Boisterousness = Son. We were on a first name basis with the ER staff.

‘Bitchiness’ = daughter

Clinginess = Neither

Belligerence = daughter

Cleanliness/tidiness = son son son son son son SON!! They shared a room. You could draw a line straight down the middle between their sides. Daughter had shit thrown everywhere. Son had his Hot Wheels lined up according to size.

Orderliness = son

Solidarity = daughter

Endurance = son.

Willingness to help = son. He was my right hand man.

Bossy = daughter. Son would mildly ignore her, though.

Coloma's avatar

I have a daughter, my only child, so no comparison ability. However, I think it has more to do with personality type and temperament. My daughter was easy, never got into trouble, ( okay, there was the one “dash & dine” incident when she was 18, that was an expensive sandwich haha ) was a good student, a self starter and I never had to remind her to do her homework etc. she just automatically did her work without prompting. She was however, very stubborn and strong willed ( just like me haha ) and could pose a good argument for just about anything from a young age.

Friends that raised sons never had much trouble with them either but, a few car and motorcycle accidents. Boys are, usually, more notorious for pursuing risk taking behaviors. Extreme sports, extreme driving, extremes in general. Girls are emotionally fueled by their raging hormones but boys are more like wild stallions sparring for herd leadership and dominance.

stanleybmanly's avatar

The goose is right. The temperament and disposition of the kid is everything. I don’t think it’s possible to state one gendrer more manageable or less troublesome than another.

disquisitive's avatar

Girls are harder and more expensive.

Unofficial_Member's avatar

@Dutchess_III lol. How interesting it is that most of our stereotypical gender aspects are in reverse proportion.

I’m referring these aspects to most traditional families. In most traditional family, a mother will stay at home and manage the house, this is the standard that is expected from a female, so her daughter will be tailored to uphold ‘female standard’, while her son can have more freedom as he is not expected to follow a ‘female standard’. In respect to traditional standard, I will elaborate more on some of these aspects:

Daughters are more pricy to keep since ladies have beauty standard that their family members are more inclined to accept (having hair and nails done in salon, up-to-date fashions, dermatologist visit for skin treatment, etc. Now imagine if sons were to ask for these privileges, you can already imagine their parents’ response).

Sons are more rebellious since they’re given more freedom by their parents compare to daughters (like how ladies shouldn’t go home late at night, failling to do so is to meet tiger parents’ wrath). Sons are used to freedom, and they always expect more.

Boys are well known for their ‘rough’ behaviour. With sense of power and anticipation of growing muscles, many boys are more belligerent than daughters, who were educated and reprimanded to be more gentle and lady-like by their parents (since when people think it’s more acceptable for ladies to fight with fists? So in return, ladies have ‘cat fight’ which involve spreading rumors behind back and loud quarrel, this is considered as more gentle).

Lets face it, the majority of boys are sloth. It’s not uncommon for me to hear a mother says that her son has turned the room in to a pigsty. Daughters, who are more likely to have princess-like room, don’t want anything to soil their beautiful bedroom, and have been trained to keep everything clean and tidy by their mother (how else could a her daughter manage her own family if she herself isn’t qualified to manage her own bedroom, let alone the her own future family). Monthly PMS also make daughters to care more about their day-to-day personal hygiene (mothers will often scare their daughters with yeast infection story).

Daughters tend to be more willing to help their family. It is widely believed that women are emotional creature, therefore, daughters are believed to have more acute and natural sense toward their family’s feeling thus enabling them to help their parents to solve family issues, compare to boys who are more likely to think only about themselves as they’re expected to become independent in their adulthood by their parents.

Stinley's avatar

I have two daughters. They are easy and hard but both in different ways. But the second one much harder. My husbands sister has three boys. They are a nightmare. I think it totally depends on the child and the parenting. I thought I’d been a great parent. Then I had the second child who is more difficult and I realised I just had had an easy child.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@WhomEverTheHellYouAre, ” How interesting it is that most of our stereotypical gender aspects are in reverse proportion.” They may be stereotypes when applied in the face of opposing evidence. But if they’re true, they aren’t stereotypes. They’re fact.

When both my kids were completely verbal, at ages 6 & 4, I listened to them playing with some Star Wars toys. I found it interesting that my daughter narrated all of the scenes, and provided voices for all the characters. My son provided all the interesting sound effects. Is that stereotyping?

dammitjanetfromvegas's avatar

“Boys fuck up, but girls are fucked up. ”

Louis C. K. on the difference between raising boys and girls. I giggled

Dutchess_III's avatar

^^^^ Interesting.

disquisitive's avatar

Boys are both easier to rear and less expensive.

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