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imrainmaker's avatar

What you do when things aren't going your way?

Asked by imrainmaker (8365points) June 14th, 2016

Sometimes it seems nothing is going the way you planned it / wanted something to happen but it doesn’t. What you do in such circumstances to keep yourself happy/ positive/ hopeful? Does thinking positively help that everything will be all right one day?

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12 Answers

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

I take a step back and rethink the situation completely to see if I can do better. If not, I go on to another interest, some other project, or read a book. A lot of things you either can’t do anything about at the moment and they just take care of themselves. But keep an eye out fortuitous changes in those factors that are out of control.

Opportunities arise from nowhere unexpectedly, but are lost due to resignation and defeatism. Defeat is a luxury of the dead. You are not defeated until you are good and dead. ;-)

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

Edit: out of your control.

Mimishu1995's avatar

Like @Espiritus_Corvus, first I rethink my approach to see if there is anything wrong in the steps. I try a lot of alternatives until it is clear that I can’t achieve what I want. There can be moments of disappointment, but eventually I have to come to acceptance and move on. After all you can’t always get what you want.

Mariah's avatar

Until recently my faith in myself was so low that I truly believed my reaction in the face adversity would be to get slammed and go to bed.

Luckily(?) I was able to prove myself wrong recently. I got laid off.

Now I know my reaction is to spring into action and take the situation by the horns. Losing my job sucked but I found myself.

imrainmaker's avatar

^^ You’re right @mariah difficult times can be blessing in disguise when you get to know who’re your real friends/ fake ones and tests your strength. If you can bounce back from such situation… nothing like that.
Thanks all for your responses..))

jca's avatar

I’ll think about maybe “my way” isn’t necessarily “the right way.” I’ll also think maybe, is it possible I can separate myself from this situation? If I’m feeling annoyed, I’ll also think maybe my physical needs aren’t being met. Am I dehydrated? Am I hungry? Am I just cranky because I’m tired right now?

Unofficial_Member's avatar

I’ll abandon my current plan and make a better plan to achieve the same goal, sometimes, changing the goal itself if necessary. Staying with a lost cause won’t bring anything regardless of how optimistic you are.

SecondHandStoke's avatar

Re evaluate the way.

ibstubro's avatar

Well, if the lemons are fresh, make lemonade.

If the lemons are rotten, start beaning someone upside the head with them.

Some shit can fertilize the soul.
A lot of shit is just shit.

azaleaaster's avatar

The first step I take is to become furious immediately. Then it is a right time to start looking for a person to blame. When a target is found, I recommend not to delay and launch the offensive as quick as possible because you can, heaven forbid, change your mind.
When an opponent is destroyed, you can relax for a while. Calm down a little because long hours of self-flagellation await you. Usually, during this break, I begin to analyze what has just happened. You can follow my example. For instance, I ask myself why the person has been so cruel to me or why my dialog partner has said it is only my fault and he has nothing to do with it. Here is a good time for a weep. But only a little one. Do not try much, if you can’t. It’s just for increasing the drama quality. Remember, you need strength for the next important steps to take. After leaving the battlefield, make sure the body of the guilty party is definitely dead or suffers in excruciating pain.
When you find yourself in a safe place where no one, especially this heartless offender you’ve attacked, can reach you, let think. Long. Much. Diligently. Remind every blow stricken. Do it properly. Nothing must be missed.
When you finish with it, proceed to the next topic: Why did it all happen? Begin your analysis with this guy’s behavior. Then go on to the current situation. After you have learned the whole biography of the offender in detail, studied deeply and thoroughly his or her personality, discovered all possible causes and effects of the event, you are ready to the most time-consuming and labour-intensive process – introspection. I do not know how much time it takes. Every case is unique. It depends on your stubbornness and the scope of the problem to be examined.
At the finish, you realize (maybe, not for the first time) your life is only your choices and no one is responsible for what happens in your own life, except you. You must work on the trouble you’ve got, not shift responsibility for it to anyone and wait for a solution to fall from the sky.
The last but not least step is not to forget to apologize to the person you’ve hurt if you still have a chance.
Congratulations! Having followed the above-mentioned instructions, you will probably fix the situation. And things will go your way again.
Afterword: be self-ironical. This prevents from repeating mistakes.

SmartAZ's avatar

When everything seems to be coming your way, you are driving on the wrong side of the road!

ibstubro's avatar

Nah. Ask the local legislature to decriminalize throwing lemons.

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