General Question

poofandmook's avatar

Where would you draw the line?

Asked by poofandmook (17272points) July 31st, 2008

Okay. Some of you may remember a previous post of mine regarding a co-worker and my issues with her. I mentioned there that I was working 65–70 hour weeks to cover her not showing up. She’s being protected by HR and she’s back now, usless as ever, but she’s back.

At any rate, I’m still pulling the same hours, because we have one girl and one dispatcher out (they just had a baby), one other dispatcher on vacation, one boss on vacation, two other employees out for serious medical emergencies… so we’re super short handed.

I’m tired, cranky, my sciatica pain started last night and is off the charts to where I’d normally call out.. I had trouble getting down the stairs and I live on the 3rd floor… but if I call out, that leaves one person where there would normally be 5. I’m getting to the end of my rope, and I can tell this, because I had a panic attack this morning.

Where would you say “enough is enough.. it’s not my responsibility to fill in all these holes. I need to take care of myself.” I know how insanely appreciative my superiors are… they tell me every 10 minutes, it seems. I’m getting glowing reviews from all the higher-ups in my department. They keep joking, “Jess! Slow down! You’re making it look like we don’t need more help! You’re making us look bad!” I don’t want to go backward in the progress I’ve made with the bosses, and I don’t want to leave my co-workers hanging, but I’m drowning. What do I do?

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21 Answers

jballou's avatar

Man, I remember your first posting. Sorry to hear nothing’s gotten better for you.

This is one of the most ridiculous stories I’ve ever read. I can’t believe your company is so blind and/or insensitive to its employees needs. They shouldn’t be putting you or anybody else through this, as it seems that a cursory glance at the situation would yield one undeniable answer. That being said, even if they did somehow respond to your needs, the fact that they haven’t yet speaks volumes. You should evaluate not if you can deal with the situation they’ve put you in- but whether or not you’re ok with the fact that they put you in this situation in the first place. It’s soooo important that the place where you work has your back. Use those glowing reviews and kind words as an indication that you are good at your job. And if you’re good at your job- you should be able to find a new one.

Personally, I think it’s time to dust off the old resume. I would have drawn the line a long time ago. You’re way past the line. The line is like a dot to you cause you’re so far past it.

btko's avatar

I think I would tell my bosses just that. Many would be certainly understanding.

poofandmook's avatar

@jballou: I appreciate what you’re saying, but they really don’t have control over what’s happened. My boss and the dispatcher’s vacations were planned months ago. But the MS flare-up, heart attack, and baby weren’t planned.. taking out a total of 4 employees. They can’t do anything. They can’t train a temp in the time it would take for everyone to come back from their illnesses/vacations, so that’s useless. There aren’t any other divisions around to float people over. It’s totally out of their hands. I can’t blame them for anything, really.

Scrumpulator's avatar

Draw the line, They aren’t your family and your pain is number 1 right now, I had sciatica for years, working in the construction industry, I had to leave it. I’m not saying leave your job, but don’t go in, your superiors should fill the void if they are good at their jobs, then they know how to do yours. Don’t make it about the other person either, you both are in the same position with the three others gone. If there is a total emergency your boss’s will figure it out, its what they are paid to do. And I dont think that one day off for pain is a big deal. You obviously have been pulling your wight, it will not undo what you have done, Hope this helps. :) Good luck :)

jballou's avatar

@poofandmook I don’t mean to put anybody down, it certainly seems that is an incredible series of misfortunes and coincidences, but that doesn’t mean you have to stick it out with them. I understand bending for the company, but you don’t have to break.

delirium's avatar

It took me a while to learn that pain and suffering comes first, and sometimes you have to put the people around you second. If you make yourself extremely ill, rather than taking it a bit easier, you’re going to miss out on more work than you would if you took some time to feel better.

Explain that you’re ill, and that you’re making yourself sick, and that you can’t keep doing that. Apologize, and tone it down a little.

trumi's avatar

Really, just slow down. If you like this job and want to stay, you can’t let them think that you can handle this much work all the time. It sounds like you are really doing a great job to take care of the company in their moment of crisis, but you have no reason to so completely deplete yourself like this.

Slow down, do as much as you reasonably can, and it will work out.

Good luck!

marinelife's avatar

Take the bosses at their word to slow down. They are saying it lightly because they like you and value you, but they mean it. Start by cutting back to your regular number of hours.

Also, it is way to easy to say that a temp can’t help at all. There are some general office duties they could take on.

Slow down now or be out for weeks when your body just quits. Guess which your bosses would prefer!

tinyfaery's avatar

Like I always say, you teach people how to treat you. They treat you like this, and expect you to be to go-to-gal, because you let them. Your bosses probably genuinely appreciate you, but the fact they allow you to reach a breaking point, tells me that they really aren’t that concerned with you, but with their company. Starting tomorrow, do your job, and your job only, and do it with all the energy and positive attitude you can muster. Next week, do the same. When they come to you for help, do it if you have time, but if its really too much, politely say you can’t do it; let them know that your willing to help out, but they cannot rely on you for everything.

Also, after this is over, you deserve a nice fat bonus; if they don’t give it to you, ask yourself if these people really appreciate what you do for them

tinyfaery's avatar

Oh, and over the weekend soak in some Epsom salt, maybe get a massage. Drink a lot of water to cleanse your body, and drink some OJ to up you vitamin C. Have a “pajama weekend” or a “bed prisoner day”. When I need it my wife will do everything for me, so I can laze around and relax.

poofandmook's avatar

I promised my boyfriend I’d go to Nascar this weekend. it’s already paid for and everything :(

tinyfaery's avatar

How many people are you going to try to please before your body gives out, or you otherwise “snap”? Your boyfriend should understand.

poofandmook's avatar

@tiny: It’s supposed to be for my boyfriend’s birthday.. which is today. I can’t bail.

Adina1968's avatar

Sometimes your cries for help fall on deaf ears. Sometimes you are being taken advantage of… I once was in a situation like yours. I worked as long and as hard as I could until I literally crashed and burned. There are now for people doing the job that I used to do all by myself. The best thing I ever did was leave that job. I have a life now and I have my sanity back. I even started my own business which is now growing by leaps and bounds. I know now that if I ever did decide to go back to work for someone else that I would never allow myself to be taken advantage of again. Your supervisors may say thank you but they are taking advantage of you. Are you being rewarded in any way for all of your hard work and dedication? I encourage you to take a step back. If you decide that you like where you work then it is time to draw a line in the sand and set some boundries for yourself. I hate to say this but lets be honest… What do you think would happen if you quit tomorrow? Answer: They would just find someone to replace you. Probably 10 people from what you have told us. :-) The most important thing is to live your life and have a life. Life is to short to work yourself sick for a company that is clearly taking advantage of you. Take care of yourself first! Good Luck! I am sure everything will work out!

tinyfaery's avatar

Birthdays come every year; you can celebrate anytime. Let him go with the guys, and promise him a make-up “present” when you are feeling better. But, if you feel like you must go, then go. Hopefully your resolve will win out over your body.

poofandmook's avatar

Thanks for all the responses guys… I’m giving lurve to everyone. I think this time I’m just going to have to suck it up and realize that I spread myself too thin, but I can’t back out now, and starting next week, I’ll set better limits for myself.

susanc's avatar

Very interesting that nobody is getting on poof’s case for being a big fat martyr.
“I can’t bail now”? Of course you can bail now!

Speaking as one pushover to another here, poof, “secondary gain” is a concept that people like us should familiarize ourselves with.

poofandmook's avatar

@susanc: At the point when I said that I couldn’t bail now, I was referring mostly to working today, Friday, my normal day off. I was placed on the schedule, and if I bailed on it, I wouldn’t have given enough notice. That’s general company policy… it’s too hard for me to get a job that pays my bills (I have very visible tattoos), so I can’t piss off HR. If I do leave this place, it has to be 100% on my terms, not because I violated policy.

Knotmyday's avatar

One of my best friends is killing herself with work. Literally, she is in danger of dying from hypertension. She won’t slow down, and won’t listen to advice. I don’t know what to do.
Please listen to these guys.
and tattoos are awesome

ninjaxmarc's avatar

don’t let your job kill you.
Communicate with them on drowning.
They have to get the picture or it’s you failing and the company following.

gymnastchick729's avatar

u seriously need to think about whats really happening and also whats important to you, which ever way you chose… there will be some sacrifice. good luck =D

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