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drhat77's avatar

We are getting a post partum doula, any advice?

Asked by drhat77 (6195points) August 11th, 2008

Sadly for the world, my wife is gravid with my foul spawn. She is going to have a c-section early november, and we heard that having help beyond the week or so my mom can take time off and stay would be really helpful. We’ve been looking into a post-partum doula to help with the baby and around the house, etc.
Have any of you jellies had expereince with this? was it something you’d recommend? What are important questions to ask her? What are competetive hourly rates? Do they get tips or bonuses? What are red flags showing us we should avoid a particualr doula?
I’d like to stress we are having a conventional in-hospital c-section, we just need some post partum care. Thanks.

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3 Answers

shilolo's avatar

I’m not convinced that you are going to need the help as much as you think. Yes, having extra hands around is great, but you’ll survive either way, and to a certain extent, I think it is very useful to learn the ropes the “hard way.” When my wife and I had our first almost 2 years ago, we had help for about 1 week, and then everyone disappeared. That acute responsibility really forces you to learn how to work together and also how to care for and love your new child.

As far as doulas are concerned, the one thing I have heard is that you really have to ensure that they share your parenting style. Having conflict over how to change diapers, cloth vs disposable, sleeping, breastfeeding (or not), swaddling, etc. can be very frustrating, so I would sort that out beforehand. Good luck with your upcoming arrival. My wife is due with our second in November as well. I tremble with anticipation.

augustlan's avatar

I’m the only person I know who actively did not want any help (except hubby) after my children were born. My husband took a week off, and it was a wonderful bonding time for us. Our mothers were so frustated when we wouldn’t let them stay with us! an added bonus ;)

redsgirl4eva's avatar

I was just like augustian except even my hubby could not take that bundle of joy out of my hands even had a hard time at night even though I was really tired I wanted to sleep with my baby even though I never have agreed with that because for me it can be dangerous because i roll so much at night

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