Is it fair if I don't pay for a bridesmaid dress?

It is customary for the bride’s family to pay for the wedding, including the clothing worn by the bridesmaids, and best man.

It’s doesn’t seem fair to expect someone to pay for a dress that they didn’t pick out.
If it’s your wedding and you want a specific dress on your bridesmaids, then you get to pay the bill.

If it was me, I’d pay for her dress if I could afford it. That way you don’t feel like you’re treating each person differently. However, she might feel uncomfortable if you pay for her dress, when you had to pay for yours at her wedding. So offer, but be prepared to let her pay if she wants to.

All weddings are different, and people’s capacity to pay for things varies too. Don’t get wound up about such a small thing, because it could hurt your friendship. Perhaps she can’t afford to pay for her bridesmaids’ dresses. If you can, and she’s willing to accept your kindness, pay for the dresses for your maids.

I have a few female friends that have been tasked as bridesmaids recently. They are mid 20s.

And they have basically been told you have to buy this ugly dress you do not want. I found this offensive but they considered it the norm.

So fuck everything about kids. No class these Venmo me little bags of shit.

she could afford to pay for my dress, but she said in her family its tradition for the bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses. I grew up with the tradition where the bride pays for the bridesmaid dress so I was planning on paying for the dresses but now that I know she’s making me pay for the dress, I’m starting to think I’ll ask her to buy the dress for my wedding as well, and just ask the other bridesmaid not to mention I paid for her dress myself. Am I being petty… probably..

“It’s my family tradition that bridesmaids pay for their own dress” is a bullshit cop-out.
She’s just being a cheapskate (and a bitch, in my opinion).

If you feel resentful about paying for your dress for her wedding, you could always say you don’t want to be a bridesmaid. If you care about her as a friend, do you want this to become a thorn in your friendship? You can choose to pay for the dresses and let the other shit go, or you can tell her you disagree and feel she should pay for the dresses and potentially lose your friend. It’s her wedding and she can say she wants people to pay. It’s your wedding and you can say you’d rather pay yourself. You don’t have to participate in her wedding or have her as a bridesmaid at yours if this really bothers you. If she is generally a very good friend, sometimes you just have to let things go and be the bigger person.

I have no problem at all paying for the dress to be in her wedding.
and the more I think of it, it’s fair if I ask her to pay for hers in my wedding, even if she’s the only one that will have to pay for her own dress in my wedding.

Might be worth asking your other bridesmaids to not mention that you paid for their dresses around her.

In my mind the two events (weddings) are not related. Couples should pay for all or none of the dresses and tuxes and, ideally, have a plan and a budget before asking them to participate.

Depends on how close you’re with her and are ready to ruin the friendship over trivial issue like that. If you two talk openly you can go ahead and share your concern with her otherwise pay for it and don’t say a word if you don’t want to ruin it.

Ladies and Gentleman I present Don’t Tell The Bride.

Even on this it is expected the bridesmaid dresses are paid for by the couple.

In all 3 of the weddings I’ve been a birdesmaid in I have had to pay for my bridesmaid dress (two of them I got to pick from 2–3 options, one of them was just told what to get). For all 3 of them I’m still resentful that I had to spend $100–300 on shitty dresses that I will never wear again, especially considering I wouldn’t spend half that on something I would actually wear everyday.

When I was a bridesmaid for my best friend her parents paid for the dresses.

I believe that either the bride’s parents or the bride herself purchasing the bridesmaids’ dresses since at least half of them is the bride’s choice, “at least half” because my best friend split it; she chose the color but allowed us to choose the actual dresses, is the common and traditional practice.

It’s because of the “at least half the choice” thing that I believe it IS fair that the bride’s family or the bride pay but my opinion on a dress matter is not exactly reliable because I can’t stand dresses. So I’ll never consider it fair to have to buy a dress regardless of the occasion.