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Eggie's avatar

Is intellectual level in a relationship important?

Asked by Eggie (5921points) December 3rd, 2017

I’m speaking about certifications. If you for example has a bachelor’s degree and your partner doesn’t or if you are really good at thinking logically and your partner is not that good, does it matter? Should you then look for a partner on the same intellectual level?

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23 Answers

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

Smart people don’t blow $200,000 for a piece of paper. I am glad that I saw through the degree program scam in time. I love who I love and have little control over it.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I don’t think actual degrees are that important, but relatively equal intellectual capabilities is. It’s nice when either partner knows how to do things that the other doesn’t.

It only matters if it matters to you.

rockfan's avatar

Emotional intelligence matters to me way more than I.Q.

rockfan's avatar

I’ve met people with high I.Q’s that are friendly, but lack a significant amount of emotional awareness and empathy

CWOTUS's avatar

The important things in a relationship are… whatever the participants decide are important.

CrusoeStudio's avatar

There is no combination of personality traits that is ideal for a relationship. If there is love, there is love. Opposites can support each others weaknesses (If one is book smart, the partner could make it up by being practically or creatively smart) Also, some people have standards that must be met in order to be happy in the relationship, even if the partners support each other. It’s all down to case by case and personal preference. :)

flameboi's avatar

Yes, it matters, a lot.

zenvelo's avatar

No, it doesn’t.

I have a Bachelor’s degree. My current girlfriend has a Masters; my previous girlfriend had a Doctorate in Psychology; my ex wife had a masters. The disparity in degrees was never and is not now a factor in our relationship.

@CWOTUS summed it up perfectly.

stanleybmanly's avatar

The question makes me chuckle because it throws me back to the Joan Rivers line “no
man ever stuck his hand up a woman’s dress
in search of a library card”

LostInParadise's avatar

There are no doubt plenty of exceptions, but studies indicate that marriage partners tend to be very similar to each other in numerous ways, including education level. Link

janbb's avatar

I don’t know that educational level is important but for me personally, I could not be with a man who was not my intellectual equal. (That’s probably why I’m single. lol)

Aster's avatar

I love men who are more intelligent than I am and men who understand things like the news or politics more than I do. I don’t know why except my ex, my dad and my present spouse are and were extremely smart. It’s what I need and what I’m used to.

CWOTUS's avatar

@janbb, would it help if I got a lobotomy?

marinelife's avatar

It depends on the people involved. To me, having someone on the same intellectual level who gets me, understands what I say, gets my jokes is vitally important. Probably moreso than any other single factor.

janbb's avatar

@CWOTUS Nah – something harder. Just change your politics.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@Aster I have to ask….were you raised to believe that males are just smarter than females?

CWOTUS's avatar

@janbb, if I got the lobotomy, then I probably would be able to do that.

zenvelo's avatar

@CWOTUS so you are saying, “anyone with half a brain can tell @janbb‘s politics are correct” ??

CWOTUS's avatar

I thought it would be obvious; I’m saying that if one had half a brain one might think so.

Aster's avatar

@Dutchess_III was I raised to believe that? I don’t remember. It was too many years ago that I was raised! At any rate, with all the male morons I saw and heard in junior high I can’t imagine I’ve believed that. I’ve known lots of dumb guys. One was named, “Don.” He’d pick me up in his car when I was seventeen, he’d go park the car and whip out a guitar. I don’t know why; he couldn’t play it ! Next thing I found out he was a bag boy. Then there was that blind date in college who never said hello , goodbye or a word the entire date. Another guy picked me up at noon at my dorm. He was quite obese and I thought he would be another guy with the exact same name! So , to be nice, I got into his car, he drove around and never spoke then dropped me off at the dorm.
No; I think intelligence is fairly evenly spread between the sexes.

Eggie's avatar

Thanks for all the answers guys.

Sunshinegirl11's avatar

To some people, yes. My dad wrote my mom a letter when he left basically saying that they were incompatible intellectually and he was “superior”.

I’ll never forgive him for his harsh words but in all honesty, I would want a partner who was my level intellectually as well.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Much has changed. There was a time when women were discouraged from showing any kind of intelligence around men. They were told they’d scare the men off….

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