Social Question

MissAusten's avatar

Heterosexuals: Has anyone ever mistaken you for, or called you, homosexual?

Asked by MissAusten (16157points) September 24th, 2010

How did you feel about it, and how did you respond?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

68 Answers

Seek's avatar

Well, I’ve had random girls hit on me more often than I’ve had random guys hit on me.

Either way, it’s flattering. I just politely thank them and tell them I’m happily married.

marinelife's avatar

Yes, at a p;arty some gay friends of mine threw. I was mistaken for a lesbian. I let it slide.

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

Since 7th grade UPTO 10th grade, people have always thought I was a lesbian.
But I just ignore haters…

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Yes. Two women have expressed their interest in forming a relationship with me. Several at work thought that I was a lesbian because they hadn’t seen or heard me talk about dating a man.

At one point, I talked to my niece, a psychology major, about it and asked if I might be but was completely obvious to the fact. She asked, “Do you ever dream about being with a woman?” When I said, “No, just sexual dreams of men”, she responded, “Then you aren’t.” I have no idea if this is true or not for others, but it made sense.

chyna's avatar

I’ve had a woman interested in me, but I told her I wasn’t interested. She was okay with it, didn’t pursue me after that.

JilltheTooth's avatar

Often. I’m a never-married single mother by choice, which seems to beg the question all the time. I don’t care if people think so, I’m just surprised that they’re thinking about it at all.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I’ve been hit on by a few guys. I like to look people right in the eyes. One of the guys said that was what lead him to think I was interested. Most men don’t make that much eye contact with other men. I’m not going to change.

ucme's avatar

Once while I was out collecting funds for work (Alzheimers Disease) this big dumb pea brained bouncer type thingy walked up to me in this club we were in. He asked if I was a homosexual!?! I was in fancy dress, as we all were. Dick Turpin if memory serves. I passed it off as a remark spewed out of a gorilla’s ignorant gob! Another example is that i’m told my voice sounds a little camp. I have to agree when hearing it that sometimes it kind of does, a little. Whatever, worse things happen at sea, or so they say :¬)

deni's avatar

no. i guess i dont give off that vibe…or something. my boyfriend, on the other hand, every time we go to a bar or dancing or anything, he has a crowd of gay men surround him. though i thought he was gay when i first met him too so its understandable. he does give off that vibe. lol

YoBob's avatar

I worked my way through college playing in rock/punk bands. The lead singer and rhythm guitarist in one of my more successful bands were lesbians. Thus, many of our gigs were in gay bars. I was, as might be expected, often assumed to be gay, which was kind of funny since I am not even remotely gay curious.

The real funny part was running into some of my college professors in the gay bars. ;)

Jude's avatar

I am a lesbian and never once has anyone pegged me for being gay.

cookieman's avatar

I have been told by two of my gay friends and my lesbian Aunt that I would make a wonderful gay person – on three separate occasions. So apparently I do give off that vibe.

I’m actually kind of proud of it for some reason.

sleepdoc's avatar

Hmmm .. not sure if exactly that happens but I am often mistake for a woman on the phone.

BoBo1946's avatar

When I was coaching, a former teacher’s husband called me and asked me to meet him at a motel, and I’ll not tell you what I told him….those kinds of words you don’t repeat.

Jude's avatar

@BoBo1946 I would have said that I’m not interested (I don’t swing that way). No reason to freak out and be nasty.

BoBo1946's avatar

@mama_cakes well, i’m not as nice as you are…but, thanks.

tragiclikebowie's avatar

I wouldn’t say I’ve been mistaken for being a lesbian, but I have had a few ladies express interest. I mean, I’m sort of neutral on this subject to begin with. If there is someone I am interested in, it really doesn’t matter what gender they are. I just happen to be more inclined toward men.

Jude's avatar

Apology out to bobo. Just having a rough day and didn’t need to make that comment.

BoBo1946's avatar

@mama_cakes no problem my friend! Hope the day gets much better. We all “have been there and done that!”

diavolobella's avatar

Only when I’ve gone dancing at a predominantly gay club with some friends of mine who were. But that’s hardly surprising and I was not offended in the least.

Randy's avatar

I’ve never been mistaken for a homosexual but I once had a bad encounter with a few homosexual men.

I was at a house party and a couple gay fellas, (I’m almost tempted to say trannies because they were wearing make-up and high heels), came up to start conversation. They started by telling me that I had beautiful eyes, which I do, so I told them thanks and continued the conversation. Then they asked me to turn around so they could look at my butt. I politely told them that I’m not gay and that I don’t appreciate their advances. They thought that was funny. I left the conversation trying to be polite. They got drunker and as I walked by one of them he slapped my ass. So I quickly turned around and slammed him against the wall. I told him something along the lines of “If you touch me again, I’ll make you regret it”. A little later, the other one did it so I socked him in nose. They quit laughing after that and I didn’t hear from them the rest of the night.

Seek's avatar

@Randy Funny, I did the same thing to a guy in a bar a while back for the same reason. Completely understandable. ^_^

aprilsimnel's avatar

One day I went out to the shops when I had a cold, wore baggy clothes and no makeup. Some cat-caller yelled his crap and I didn’t “properly” respond to him. I said “Fuck off. ” He replied by calling me a “funky-ass lezbo”, so I said, “Yeah, well, too bad for you, isn’t it?” and kept going. I mean, really.

poisonedantidote's avatar

A few times, once when i was about 15 years old some 40 year old drunk guy in a club would not leave me alone, tried to kiss me. i eventually became violent over it.

once when i was about 22–23, i just told them that i was not that way, we just continued with our conversation.

and about a couple years ago while i was in the UK, had a couple come up to me on seperate occasions through out the night, and i just brushed them off.

there have been more times, but i cant quite remember them.

as for being called gay or a homo, that happens to more or less everyone i know on a daily basis. “maricon” is a popular insult here, but its not really an offensive one.

wundayatta's avatar

Over the years, I’ve hung out with a lot of gay men and women and no one ever seemed unclear about my orientation.

However, once I was walking down a street with someone—straight or gay, I don’t remember—but I do remember someone in a passing car shouting out something about faggots. I was actually kind of proud of that.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

For a while off and on, my hair has been really short… spiky and red. For quite some time, I had facial piercings also. Because of the short spiky hair and the facial piercings, quite a few ppl assumed I was a “dyke”. I’m just a mom, who doesn’t want to conform to the cookie cutter picture of suburban wives. I refuse to be a “stepford” and I like the fact that I’m a little more funky or “different” than the other moms. I hope to God my daughters grow up with the same attitude.

It did make me laugh when I heard an elderly lady call me a dyke though…

MissAusten's avatar

Interesting stories! Thanks @everyone for sharing.

I don’t know what made me think of this incident from high school (which is what prompted the question), other than the way my mind wanders when I’m brushing my teeth in the morning! When I was in high school, I broke up with a boy I’d only gone out with a few times. I wouldn’t even say he was my boyfriend. Anyway, a couple of weeks after I told him I didn’t want to see him anymore, he told me his parents said I was probably a lesbian because so many of my close friends were girls.

Even at the time, it made me laugh. I said to him, “Well, if I had a lot of friends who were guys, your parents would probably call me a slut.” I’d met his parents a couple of times, and they seemed nice enough, but also rather controlling and backward. I wonder if they meant it to be insulting, or if they thought so highly of their darling son that the only way they could comprehend a girl not wanting to date him would be if the girl in question were gay.

Nially_Bob's avatar

I frequently spend time with the LGBT society at my university so it’s only natural that someone would have mistook me for a homosexual at some point. It doesn’t really bother me, I appreciate that even if for just a moment people think i’m capable of dancing like an ordinary human being.

TexasDude's avatar

A lot of people thought I was gay or at least in the closet in highschool because my own sexuality was very understated and I didn’t really date. I got a lot of attention from girls, but even still, the question of my sexuality remained in a lot of people’s minds until I got my first girlfriend at the end of my sophomore year.

A lot of gay guys still hit on me, but they usually tell me they know I’m straight, so I guess the age of questionably gay fiddle bastard is mostly over.

JLeslie's avatar

It’s never happened to me. If it did, It would be no big deal.

ratboy's avatar

Does being called “cocksucker” count?

maggiechen55's avatar

at past ,no,
future,will still no

jerv's avatar

I am former Navy, so people made all sorts of assumptions and jokes, and I have been propositioned a few times… sometimes by fellow shipmates!

Ultramarine_Ocean's avatar

I’ve been called that very few times but only because I’m a nice guy (and I have a somewhat small body). I think that’s silly though.

Aster's avatar

No but I’d laugh, be shocked and tell everybody. LOL

Frenchfry's avatar

Yes. I have .I am a t -shirt and jean . I don’t cut my hair really short any more for that reason. Some can pull it off, maybe I look butch. LOL I dont know.

Smashley's avatar

Oh sure. Pretty often, actually. It’s useful for getting free drinks at bars, actually.

cletrans2col's avatar

When it has happened, I just say, “no homo”, and turn away.

captainsmooth's avatar

I used to get hit on by gay men in my 20’s, but someone usually needed to point it out.

soulrhapsody's avatar

Ive been hit on a few times but on those few times i think they were just having fun and were not seriously hitting on me

AnonymousWoman's avatar

A guy can go ahead and call me a lesbian. I might assume he’s only saying that because I don’t want to have sex with him. :)

I’ve been called a lesbian in the past. That’s fine. Words don’t make something true. Besides, I don’t mind lesbians.

AnonymousWoman's avatar

I suppose I walked right into that one. ^_^

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

You’re a good sport. You know I was kidding.

Salem88's avatar

What do you think of when someone says, ”Cher”?

The long, long black hair? Her lithe figure – and hair? Her earthy, voice, and laugh?

Or is it really her slamming wit and ballsy attitude – her success when she kicked Sonny to the curb and lived her own life thru hell and high water? Reinventing herself while keeping the essence of her Cher-ness?

Interesting that both straight and gay people are attracted to her. Because I had similar looks and attitude the same happened to me. Never bothered me. Always knew Good people come in all shapes and forms. Just tell them, “I’m addicted to dick”, then laugh and it’s cool. Having such a mouth for an arsenal has served me well. Plus always married to Sam Elliott-look alike. So just think of us as Cher and Sam working hard, playing hard, and loving hard..hahahahaha
Sounds like a bad, cheesy movie trailer.

Ron_C's avatar

I was propositioned a few times when I was younger. It happened when I was a teenager and I didn’t even realize it until it was pointed out to me. I was kind of flattered when I was older but said, “sorry, I don’t do that”. That ended the flirtation but not the conversation. Most of the gay guys I met were surprised that I didn’t take offense and treated them like anyone else. It never occurred to me to take offense at the propositions.

Now I’m old and neither sex seems to find me attractive.

liza462's avatar

Yes, I’ve been told that by people I know. That they thought I was a lesbian. It didn’t bother me as I know what I am. I have been friends with straight, gay, and bi and whatever you are is upto you and no one else. I’m very comfortable with my sexuality so if someone thinks I’m a lesbian I don’t feel threatened or embarrassed. I went to a gay bar a few times with a friend of mine who was gay and I was hit on more at that bar then I was at a straight bar, go figure.

Crashsequence2012's avatar

We, the Metrosex…. I mean We, The New Man don’t care.

Strauss's avatar

When I was living in New Orleans, I discovered there is a huge gay scene there, and that it intersects quite heavily with the arts and music scenes. There were times I was hit upon, and I was able to politely decline.

RareDenver's avatar

Used to happen quite a bit, not so much any more

LeavesNoTrace's avatar

No but people have been surprised to learn that I’m bisexual.

Nullo's avatar

In hindsight, I think that one of my classmates in college might have hit on me – that, or he was just a friendly sort of person. I never did interact much with, or really pay attention to my classmates outside of group projects, so I don’t know either way.

Pandora's avatar

When I was a teen I did get hit on by some girls. I was offended at the time but I think what really had ticked me off was that they never hit on me when I would be dressed like a tom boy and the moment I had started to dress up more feminine, then, I got hit on. Found out later that my best friend in school was gay but not out. Seemed everyone knew but me and thought we were a couple. She never came out to me but after I told her I was mad that those girls were hitting on me and that I thought it was insulting because I would never ever be interested in girls, she never spoke to me again.

I was ticked off because she was my best friend and never told me she was gay and she knew I liked boys but she deliberately pretended to be my girlfriend. I thought it was in jest because she often spoke of like boys but I realized she did it to keep all boys from being interested in me because she liked me.

Then in college I would get hit on occasionally but it didn’t bug me by then. I had a few gay friends by then and it seems they have the same trouble figuring out who is straight or gay the same way we do. I think it’s even harder for women since straight women can be very affectionate towards each other or look at another women with admiration and still be straight.

Srw805's avatar

All the time lol

SecondHandStoke's avatar

It’s 20 freaking 13.

It so doesn’t matter to me.

SecondHandStoke's avatar


Um, the question was directed at straights.

Jeruba's avatar

The only time I can think of is when I accompanied my adventuresome friend to a kinky party and someone asked me for permission to speak to her.

I thanked him for the courtesy and told him that my friend was a free agent, not my sub, and that anyone could speak to her.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

There was a period of time many years ago, I was always getting hit on by gay guys (sorry, no revelation there to those who want to think “ahhhh…..”). The last time I was mistaken for gay but not called it, was by a Sister in the faith who was curious I guesses but did not want to ask me pointblank. Even though she is getting up there in age she is still quite attractive and at times get hit on by other seekers or baby Christians. And no, gay guys do not hit on me today…..redacted.

Ron_C's avatar

I was hit on by gay guys a number of times when I was young..Though I had no interest in having sex with a guy, I thought it was flattering. I just told them thanks, but no thanks.

Zaku's avatar

Yes. I just declined or let them know I’m not gay. I’ve gotten better at non-verbal communication now, so I can usually communicate that by vibe, in an easy way. That is, I’m usually comfortable around gay or queer people, and can acknowledge them and make it clear I’m straight and not interested by just being that way, wearing it and sending it in my intention, expression, eye contact, etc.

When I was younger, I’d just say no in a cordial way, which also worked just fine, even though I was usually a bit startled by it.

chinchin31's avatar

NO but i have had people say it about my straight friends “that they look gay” and I find it really rude and hurtful because what in heaven’s name does it mean to look gay ?? There are lots of masculine looking people that are gay.

NerdyKeith's avatar

I guess this question doesn’t really apply to me because I am gay. But I get mistaken for straight all the time.

kritiper's avatar

I suspect as much since I have never had a real girlfriend, never been married and don’t go out much with women. There are those who know me better and know very well how much I like women.

Strauss's avatar

In the 1970’s in San Francisco it happened occasionally. In New Orleans in the 1980’s it happened a lot in the French Quarter. I always tried to be gracious and grateful, letting them know that was not me.

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