Social Question

Dutchess_III's avatar

In cases of disagreement do you unfriend a person,or simply set your privacy settings so they can't see your posts and you can't see theirs unless you go to their page?

Asked by Dutchess_III (39712points) September 19th, 2018

I had posted this nonsense thing that was rolling around in my head when I woke up:
Humpty Trumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Trumpty made a great call
...something something.

It was just dumb ditty.
This woman who I’d known growing up with…she lived in our neighborhood and she was my sister’s best friend growing up…said something about wanting to preserve our friendship but would I please stop insulting the right.
It gave me pause. There were so many different ways I could have responded. Part of me wanted to say, “OMG! You actually support that idiot? What is wrong with you!” But I didn’t. After some consideration I just deleted the whole thread, sent her a message apologizing and telling her I’d deleted it, then proceeded to add her to my “Friends except….” list! Ha ha!
I actually have about 5 people on there now. People I actually like for the most part, too.

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13 Answers

Zaku's avatar


My Friendbook page is largely for sharing petitions and issues, and I haven’t unfriended anyone for disagreeing. That’s how I get to keep knowing about the opinion that Trump is a god-sent mastermind and champion against the (apparently not pro-corporate? LOL) “deep state”. Oh, and against the aliens, and wants us to know about our secret space defense fleet already hiding behind the Moon (or is it Mars or the Sun?).

Caravanfan's avatar

Well, four options .
First, I never post anything on FB that is remotely politially controversial and therefore I avoid those debates

Second, if you want to stay friends with someone but have them not see your posts, you can do what you did and post to “friends except…” or whatever. I have a couple of people on a similar list for various reason.

Third, the “unfollow” button is your friend. I “unfollow” a lot of people—mostly people who post political stuff from the left and the right (I block more from the left than the right, actually).

Fourth, you can say, “It’s my wall. I’ll post what I want. If you don’t like it then don’t read it.”

Dutchess_III's avatar

I have unfollowed a couple of people too.

Most of the people who are on my “except list” are people that I can not predict how they’re gong to misunderstand one of my post, political or not. My youngest sister sent me a friend request the day before yesterday. I was flabbergasted! By choice she has opted out of technology all together. She views herself as being on a higher spiritual plane than that. She views her self as being on a higher spiritual plane, and with a greater understanding of everything than all of the rest of us lowly humans. (I think she astral travels with Carlos Castaneda. They might even have a couple of astral kids together, IDK.) We were amazed that she even did email. So her friend request was a happy shock, I immediately accepted, and immediately put her on the “except” list. LOL!

chyna's avatar

I have unfollowed a few for political reasons. The one that stands out is a woman I went to school with that posted a picture of Obama on a TV and a teenager in front of the TV with his pants down pooping to look like he was pooping on Obama. I don’t find that funny.

raum's avatar

Regardless of political party, I’m more likely to “see less from” anyone that posts too many memes.

I’d rather keep a friend that’s Republican, but is willing to engage in a productive conversation. Than a friend who’s a Democrat that replies with memes and emojis.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Me to @raum. I have a few of conservative friends who I actually like and we can cuss and discus without losing our minds.
But then there are those who start threatening you and that’s bullshit.

notsoblond's avatar

You are either my friend or you aren’t. I gave up unfollowing. I gave my best friend of 40 years a second chance recently after unfriending her last year because she disagrees with my acceptance of my child being transgender. I missed her so gave her that second chance. She posted something about her local school district having a meeting about transgender policies and how she was against it. That was it for me. Her views harm my child.

My Facebook is reserved for a small group of supportive friends and family, that’s it.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Yeah, I’d want to get that person out of my life permanently too. I am so sorry that happened.

Kardamom's avatar

I just unfriended a person who is much more of an acquaintance than a friend. We have several mutual friends and go to some of the same events, but she is very vocal about her right wing politics and two days ago, she said that Brett Cavanaugh’s accuser can’t be believed, because it “supposedly” happened 35 years ago, and she said that length of time made the accusation not credible. That was the last straw for me. I’ve put up with other awful things she said, but this one really hit home.

I have several friends who have been raped, and most of them were afraid to talk about it or go to the authorities (most of these happened 10, 20, or 30 years ago). One of my friends has never even mentioned the situation to her own mother, because she was afraid that her mother would view her as irresponsible or unclean. This woman is 32 years old, and one of the smartest, kindest people I know, but being raped was something she has only told to a select few people. Another friend was raped when she was about 14 by a kid who was a year older that lived on our street. This kid was a bully and was really mean to almost everybody. I never found out about it until about 5 years later, because she was too ashamed to say anything, because she thought she must have done something wrong to provoke this jerk. She never told her parents. Another friend, one of my co-workers, was raped by a friend when she was a teenager, and then by her husband when she was a young bride. She was an abused wife for 10 years before she had the courage to leave him. She’s now approaching 50 and she is now just dealing with this situation in therapy.

So I felt compelled to unfriend this acquaintance because I think she is an idiot, and seems to be proud of her “knowledge” even though she is completely clueless.

I also had to unfriend a relative about 2 years ago because she is a right wing zealot, gun loving, Trump supporter who doesn’t believe that people in the United States should have health care, even though the fact that she had to buy into Obama Care was the main reason she is alive today, because she has had to have several surgeries that she never would have been able to afford without insurance, and she has a mean temper and a big mouth and she is always trying to tell people how important it is that we all carry guns, because the gov’ment is coming to get us. She recently moved to Texas so she could take advantage of the open carry laws. She also has a tendency to post memes that suggest “forgiveness”, but what she really means is that she is pretending to take the high road in “forgiving” people who have wronged her, when in reality, she was the person who created the problem and did the damage herself. This is in between her posts about the newest gun she just bought and the “true meaning” of the 2nd amendment. I got sick to my stomach reading the responses from her other like minded Facebook friends, so I had to unfriend her, and I don’t have any relationship with her anymore.

trailsillustrated's avatar

I just unfollow people usual because of their politics. I’ve been unfriended too, not by anyone that I care about. One was an old college friend that I’d done heaps of cocaine and been a stripper with back in the day. She is now a fundamentalist and loves trump and and called me a bad mother because I said fuk.

Dutchess_III's avatar

You said “fuk?” Did she get made because you said it wrong, or what??! ~

trailsillustrated's avatar

@Dutchess_III because I said a swear word.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I had a lifelong friend disown me because she got wind that I wasn’t a Christian any more. Well, her loss, anyway. I still have one of her daughter’s on my friend list.

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