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Brenna_o's avatar

What are my rights as a mother?

Asked by Brenna_o (1776points) September 20th, 2018 from iPhone

My husband is leaving and I am wanting a divorce. Unfortunately we have three children to fight over now. He is the one with the income and I am the one with the apartment in my name. Can he take my children from me legally? I’m scared.
I am not happy in this marriage anymore and I am lost at what to do. Please any advice. I cannot afford a lawyer.

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8 Answers

Patty_Melt's avatar

You will have to have a lawyer.
Sometimes one can be found who will work pro bono (free).
Contact your local social services and see if they can point you in the direction of legal assistance.

These days many judges are awarding custody to more fathers than in times past. It is possible you could lose your children to your husband.
The quicker you get busy and start your fight, the better your chances.
Job(s), legal counsel, set up friends/family to speak on your behalf.
I wish you luck.
Keep in touch.

Inspired_2write's avatar

As long as the mother is a responsible mother in caring for her children , nothing will take them away from you.
The mother is the major component in the upbringing of the child.
That is where the daily nurturing is taught in loving ways for the child to learn how to have compassion etc ( not to say that men don’t have it either )
If the mother is proven negligent in looking after the needs of the child and only if the father is better to provide this then the courts will decide on shared custody or one stable partner or in some cases neither, depending on the child’s welfare ( emotional growth, nuturing parent,responsible not drinking nor taking drugs etc these come into play).

Patty_Melt's avatar

That is just not true anymore.
OP has no income, father does, and there are lots of divorced fathers these days getting custody. There are even lawyers who specialize in paternity rights.

Inspired_2write's avatar

As a women who divorced with half the income that my husband made my lawyer told me that it was whomever the child is happier with and whomever that parent has the time to spend with that child and usually its the Mother depending on her state of health ( no drugs, boyfriends coming over , no drinking etc) It was not the income that she made as maintenance payments would cover up the difference for the proper care of the children.
Most men don’t want the kids around, but their are exceptions.

snowberry's avatar

@Brenna_o I have a friend who went through this. She was a stay at home mom with a bunch of kids, and her husband had all the income. She had to scrape up the initial payment for the attorney, and after some haggling, about halfway through the divorce, she was able to come up with an agreement that she would pay her attorney on a monthly basis after she started receiving child support/alimony. I suggest you find an attorney with a proven track record even if it cost you more.

My friend went with the cheap guy and he was better than nothing, but not much. Her ex-husband makes scads of money and they’re living well below poverty level. They will continue to suffer for many years because of the shoddy job her attorney did.

Brenna_o's avatar

Had a long talk tonight with the kids dad and it seems like he is agreeing to let me keep the kids as long as he still gets to see them. And he said he’ll pay child support as long as he sees kids regularly. I think things are ending peacefully but I will definitely start putting money away for a lawyer Incase it heads that way.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Wonderful news, and I love that you are covering your bases.

snowberry's avatar

@Brenna_o it’s always going to cost a lot more than you think it will for the divorce. Plan accordingly. And a piece of advice. Never ever run him down in front of your children, no matter how poorly he may treat you!

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