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wardo23's avatar

16 year old facing many conflicts I have no control over.

Asked by wardo23 (27points) November 17th, 2018 from iPhone

When I was in 6th grade my crazy meth head parents took me out of school. I was considered a drop out through 6th-10th grade. 3 months ago I finally had the option to go back too school. At first I tried to apply as a sophomore but they checked my school records and said I’ll have to be a freshman, I was devastated at that and it was a hard time for me, because I had other problems as well Including a dependence on opiates. The first month of school was roller coaster for me.
I was completely exhausted by the end. But I did manage slow down on my pill habit I wasn’t physically addicted to them anymore (went through the horrible withdrawals).

But soon after I decided to try meth thinking it will help me get through the school days. Big mistake. Meth had the worst effects on me, physically and mentally.

I went on a two week binge with no food and little to no sleep. When I ran I took a 3 day break then got more to go on another 2 week binge. By the end of the 2nd month of school I looked like fucking golem. The bags under my eyes were so dark it looked like I had two black eyes. And I lost 10 lb even though I was already under weight. My supplier cut me off immediately because he was afraid I was gonna get caught, It was so obvious I was a tweaker I acted and looked like one. God coming off that shit was hard I would search my carpet trying to find shards of meth for HOURS. But I got through it and been clean from meth for over a month I never wanna touch that stuff again it’s pure poison to the mind, body and soul.

I been clean of opiates and cigarettes for two weeks now. The only drug I still do is weed which I smoke everyday (not ready to give it up yet).

I started taking care of myself too, eating healthy mediating and exercising daily. In just two weeks I seen a big improvement in my well being. So my state of mind is in okay place right now and improving day by day. I am confident that I won’t lose myself anytime soon.

I have managed too exceed in all my class’s even though I was on drugs the whole time. And when I say exceed I mean EXCEED my grades can’t be any higher.

I mean I’m no genius; I’m a 16 year old in freshman classes that are too easy for me. But what frustrates and scares me is I really want to skip a grade, I NEED too actually. Going to school won’t be a option once I turn 18 because I’ll be needing some minimum wage job to afford some cheap apartment (I’m legally on my own the moment I turn 18)

I know that I’ll be fine if I skipped 9th grade, the classes I’m taking are extremely easy for me I’m getting 110% on all of them (A+) except Spanish. They should pull me up atleast one grade, right? I mean I didn’t go to school for 3 years then show up and have it all down by the first month. I was 3 grades behind everyone and Still was the best in my class almost immediately.

The problem is my counselor and the school district are reluctant to help. My counselor told me even if I have the best grades I could possibly get for the whole year still won’t help, and the only grade I’d have even a chance of skipping is senior year. But that won’t do me any good because I ain’t gonna make it too junior year before I’m 18!!!!

I feel like these 2 years of high school (freshman and sophomore) are gonna be a waste I’m not challenged at all and I won’t gain anything at the end.

I’m in a stressful position i don’t have any friends. lost the only one I had, which is what led me to stop taking drugs and seek a better life (it’s what my friend would’ve wanted for me so I did it for him, even though it doesn’t matter now). I’m still going through horrible cravings and my loneliness isn’t helping.

I always had to parent myself (because my real ones never did) and obviously im not very good at it. But for the first time I’m actually taking responsibility. I now care about my not so far future ( I use to except the fact that I’m gonna end up a homeless junkie).

Any advice on how to avoid this horrible future that I seem to be destined to endure. I’m basically on my own, I’m just a 16 year old girl, I never ask for this mess and it’s hard dealing with it alone.

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5 Answers

trailsillustrated's avatar

You know what. Just heal yourself and go ahead and do year 9. In the overall scheme of things, high school is fleeting and doesn’t matter. Also you can ace your classes. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is healing, and it takes over all five years to heal your brain from a drug addiction. Go with the flow, and be kind to yourself . It’ll be alright. Just so you know, I was a homeless junkie too, and now I’m not.

janbb's avatar

I would get yourself into a twelve-step program that will help you to stay clean and give you support. A sponsor would be a great thing for you now and going to meetings every day will help you structure your life. Check out a local Narc-Anon or Al-Anon teens program in your area. It will help you focus your life. You also might see if there is some mental health counseling for free near you.

One possibly is to stay in school – in whatever grade until you are 18 and then take the GED equivalent test which will give you high school credentials.

And keep talking to us. It helps with the loneliness and will give you support. There are online support groups for teens with problems so you might look for those too.

Find a passion for something outside of school – maybe art, writing or working with animals and that will enrich your life and help with the boredom and loneliness.

Zissou's avatar

I’m confused. High school freshman = 9th grade, I thought, so I don’t understand what grade classes you are taking now and what you want to skip. Are you saying you want to skip the rest of 9th grade after this semester and skip ahead to higher-level classes starting in January?

Maybe your teachers could help you persuade the counselor that you need to be in a higher level class in one or more subjects, if they agree that you do need that and they understand your situation. In addition to your counselor, I hope there is at least one teacher you can talk to about these things.

Looking ahead, in some places when you are over 18 you can take community college classes even if you don’t have a high school diploma or GED. Whether you have a HS diploma or not, you’ll have to take placement exams in math and reading/writing, and if you score poorly, you might have to take remedial classes. So you can get an associates degree or vocational certificate from a community college even if you don’t finish high school, but you should take as many high school classes as you can while they’re free.

I agree with those who say that staying clean has to be your top priority, though.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Pulled from school during the sixth grade, and now high school is too easy for you.
I am truly impressed.

You do indeed have a lot of challenges to work through. Here is one point crucial for you to remember; do NOT focus on eighteen as a deadline. Your stress and anxiety would build every day trying to cram so much into that narrow time frame.
I can understand your frustration. If it comes down to it, you can take a GED test.

rojo's avatar

Many schools have alternative programs for kids that do not do well in the average high school environment. I know a couple of kids who did much better in the alternative program that allowed the child to advance and work at a speed more suited to their skills and abilities. Both of them were behind in school but were able to not only catch up but in one case actually complete school before he would have in the regular school curriculum. In addition, many if not most of the alternative programs are designed to work with student who might have, or had, drug dependency and other social difficulties. They offer excellent counseling programs to help the student adjust and succeed.
People learn at different rates and utilizing different techniques. I would suggest that you look into what is available in your district. Talk to a teacher, they can point you in the right direction, maybe suggest who you need to go discuss this with. Good luck to you, I hope you find a solution.

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