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windex's avatar

What is the Fastest way to become a Brain Surgeon?

Asked by windex (2932points) August 29th, 2008


Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

27 Answers

EmpressPixie's avatar


just kidding, don’t hate me

JackAdams's avatar

No competent prospective “brain surgeon” would concern himself or herself with “speed,” regarding the acquiring of such skills and knowledge.

August 29, 2008, 1:04 PM EDT

delirium's avatar

Hacksaw and Craigslist…

He didn’t say ‘reputable’ brain surgeon, did he?

windex's avatar

Ok…I’m asking this because I BELIEVE that the whole world is a scam and you don’t Really need 394939 years in school to become a dentist, engineer etc.
It is all just a business, all schools want to do is make money, and the current education system sucks balls (yes I’m planning to do something about it)

But I just wanted to become a BS so when people say anything to me, I can reply with “oh yea…well F*** YOU I’m a Brain Surgeon”

I think it’d be the best way to pwn people. (and funny too, not to mention Saving lives)
Not a joke, not trying to be funny

delirium's avatar

I really want to tell you that all you need to do is ‘open someones mind’ or other such bad puns.

JackAdams's avatar

You’ll find out how long it takes, when you have become one.

August 29, 2008, 1:14 PM EDT

gailcalled's avatar

@windex: (I am glad that you are not trying to be funny, because you aren’t)

Spend all of the next 16 years on Fluther and then get a shingle made.

wundayatta's avatar

@windex: how does the education system not work for you? What would you like it to do that it doesn’t do?

Harp's avatar

Here’s a role model for you:

This guy had no surgical training whatsoever (he was a lab director), but he performed thousands of brain operations using only an icepick and a hammer.

Quick, easy and cheap!

Lightlyseared's avatar

Well… It all depends on your hair, I mean if you’ve got good hair the world is your oyster, but if you’re balding or whatever it takes a bit more time and you still might never get to the top job (especially if there is someone just as capable as you and who has good looking hair).

Now to answer your question seriously. No one who thought they could become a brain surgeon with a weeks worth of evening classes while they toss burgers is coming anywhere near my brain with a sharp implement.

Given the amount of blood that passes through the brain and skull (about a litre a minute) a brain surgeon needs to be incredibly skilled at basic techniques just to expose the brain without the patient bleeding out (never mind the whole working out which bit of the non descriptor grey jelly in front of them causing the problem).

syz's avatar

<<eye rolling going on>>

Poser's avatar

I think your attempt to “pwn” people by telling them you’re a brain surgeon would lose its effectiveness if your becoming a brain surgeon was somehow done without the effort, intelligence and studying that is typically required to actually perform a successful brain surgery. It is, in fact, this dedication to the profession—that they’d endure years of school, study and put in the effort—that makes brain surgery an impressive pursuit.

I mean, I could “pwn” “noobs” by telling them that I’m a jedi, but until they see my light saber, or a demonstration of my near-superhuman abilities, I’m just not that impressive.

windex's avatar


btw to those who think I somehow want to Cheat the system or do the least amount of werk possible. That isn’t what I’m trying to do @ all.
I’m just really curious how long it would actually take if I dedicated myself to becoming a brain surgeon. One week of watching a Brain Surgeon do the same procedure (then I Nail it) or 1 month, or…

thanks, as always with [Love]

wundayatta's avatar

brain surgery is not just cutting and digging and sewing.

You need to understand every bit of anatomy in the head. Where every vein, and muscle goes. What all the parts do. How they can break. You need to know chemistry, and biology, and memorize a ton of stuff.

Let’s see. 4 years college. 3 years med school. Residencies are what? 3 more years? Then internships? Or are they reverse order? Then you work with a surgeon to get trained…. one year? two? three?

Then maybe, just maybe you’re ready to go out and work on your own. I count maybe 13 years there, assuming you’re a high school grad. It’s a haul. There’s an awful lot to learn.

gailcalled's avatar

“There’s an awful lot to learn”...Starting, perhaps, with going to English classes regularly.

wundayatta's avatar

@gail: that definitely helps, along with attendance and attention to math and science classes. But a well-rounded person, I believe, will be a better brain surgeon.

Mr_M's avatar

Definitely get the book “Brain Surgery for Dummies”. I read it and do all of my own now. Saves money on medical bills!

robhaya's avatar

@windex first and foremost, do you have steady hands? If the answer is no, pick another line of work. Become a Neurosurgeon or Neurologist because your passionate about the field, not to just say “I’m a Brain Surgeon..I’m better than you.).

Medical School is 4 years long, not including residency.

Poser's avatar

My GF is almost halfway through her first (of four) years of Med School. She has dreams of becoming a pediatric surgeon. So, 4 years med school, just to become a doctor. Five years of residency (three for pediatrics and two for surgery, or maybe it’s the other way around). And I’d imagine that brain surgery would be slightly more technical than pediatric, so altogether (counting four years of undergrad, and your one year of remedial grammar classes), I count about 13 years.

That’s a long time just to be able to say, “Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, I’m a brain surgeon. You’ve been pwned!”

Besides, since “the whole world is a scam,” who exactly are you trying to “pwn”? Aren’t they just scammers anyway? Come to think of it, aren’t you trying to scam your way into someone’s brain?

cwilbur's avatar

A friend of mine is working on becoming a trauma surgeon.

Four years of college, for a bachelor’s degree. Three years of medical school as a student, after which he got his MD degree; then a year, affiliated with that medical school and teaching hospital as an intern, after which he got his license to practice medicine. Now he’s looking forward to six years of surgery residency, after which point he’ll be board certified as a general surgeon; then another year or two of fellowship in a different teaching hospital, after which point he’ll be board certified as a trauma surgeon. Neurosurgery is comparable.

The reason people use brain surgery as something that’s difficult to do and a brain surgeon as someone who’s incredibly well educated and trained is because brain surgery is difficult to do, and brain surgeons are incredibly well educated and trained.

windex's avatar

@poser: wow well put >:( we will meet again… :)

also, Grammers school???, Please!;: what are yous (talking) about?

delirium's avatar

You know how everyone’s face is different? Insides (includeing brains) are the exact same…
EDIT: Exact same inasmuch as they’re different. Right. Got it? Good.

It doesn’t matter if you watch a surgeon do a procedure and practice it. To lack in a strong anatomical background as a surgeon is a fatal (for the patient) mistake.

wrestlemaniac's avatar

Cut someones head open, of course that’s cruel.

poofandmook's avatar

Windex, where do you live?

windex's avatar


*Edit- li for nia

poofandmook's avatar

Life List:
1. Never need a surgical procedure in California… check!

windex's avatar

but I’ll soon be moving to ******

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