Social Question

ragingloli's avatar

Not even a week into the new decade, and WW3 is on the horizon already. What is the best, bone-spur-free way to get out of military service?

Asked by ragingloli (46298points) 1 month ago

For example, karate chopping your drill instructor in the throat, then crushing his testicles, so you get kicked out.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

65 Answers

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Be a wealthy Republican, is a good way to get out of any military service.
I always thought The Don Father would drag us into a global recession then WW3,boy got that wrong he is going to start off with WW3.

elbanditoroso's avatar

Nuclear war.

Inspired_2write's avatar

long term illness? A debilitating disease or physical impairment?
Move out of the country, become a citizen elsewhere.?

rebbel's avatar

Be (too) old.

stanleybmanly's avatar

The traditional out —be born with a silver spoon.

kritiper's avatar

There are several sure-fire, absolutely certain ways, but I’ll put them in a nutshell: Suicide.

Pinguidchance's avatar


Thwart conscription by confronting the military machine with your Fluther oeuvre sans avatar.

ragingloli's avatar

What is wrong with my avatar?

NoMoreY_Aagain's avatar

I had a friend who got out the draft by pretending to be gay. But that was back in the early 70s. Won’t work today.

NoMoreY_Aagain's avatar

Just bite the bullet go to war and remember the chicken hawk repubs are all in your corner. Bet they even thank you for your service!

Brian1946's avatar

With Cadet Bone Spurs as the IMPOTUS, pretending to be transgender might work. ;-)

Demosthenes's avatar

Too bad there’s no more “don’t ask, don’t tell”. I was gonna “tell” and be kicked out. ;)

NoMoreY_Aagain's avatar

Well if you’re drafted into the Marines just say yes when the DI asks, “Are you queer me Private Asshole?!!!”

mazingerz88's avatar

Spy for the Russians? Oops, nope. The Commander in Cheap already got that covered.

Pinguidchance's avatar

What is wrong with my avatar?

Nothing, but it would only encourage the military to want you in the frontline.

It would bring out the anime in them hai.

MrGrimm888's avatar

If all out war, breaks out,every single person will need to contribute.

You can abandon, your home, or be part of the solution.

Iran, will possibly attack multiple places, after the assassination. The attacks, could go on for years. It won’t be pretty. They will be ultimately defeated. But, they are going to try some things. And Russia, will help them. I’m very concerned about the scenario. Iran, probably has sleepers, in many US allied countries. Be ready for anything.

The US, is going to put thousands of troops in, and we’ll fuck Iran up. But, it will kill a lot of people. I don’t want to see that.
But, that’s probably how it will play out. Thousands of dead people, and nothing gained.

I just don’t understand why we can’t all coexist…

When Iran hits us, or our allies, it’s going to be bad.

I don’t know what to say. Other than the US, should stay out, of the ME….

We just make things worse…

I hope that nothing happens, but, I bet a lot of shit goes down.
The US, assassinated 8 people. They do this type of crap, all the time… My taxe dollars, at work.
I’m sick of it….

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I fear you are most likely right^^^^.
Glad I am Canadian, and way to old to join any military function.

SergeantQueen's avatar

@Demosthenes @NoMoreY_Aagain you could say you are transgender since that is basically the 20s version of “I’m gay” when it comes to military service.

If it happened to me personally, I’d just suck it up. What choice would I have?
I don’t want to die, but I wouldn’t lie my way out of it. I’m 19 so I’m sure I’d be the lucky pick.

filmfann's avatar

This won’t be WWIII. The only way that happens is if all the Middle East (except Israel, of course) decide to team up against the western world. Who would win? Russia.

ragingloli's avatar

Honestly, WW3 started with the invasion of Afghanistan.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Firstly, if you kick drill Sergeant’s ass, it would prove to them that you would be an asset.

Shoot yourself in the foot.
Get pregnant.
Spend fifteen minutes talking about yourself to them. It would be instant section 8.
Telling them you are gay would not get you out. In war, bigot fuckers just shoot you in the back.
Tell the induction physician you have a severe case of scoliosis, then blow him artfully so he will sign the form making it official.

Put on a fucking uniform and do what they tell you.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

Before being conscripted, in the infantry, sign up in the navy as a canteen operater. Selling snacks and entertainment for the seamen for between shifts.

Darth_Algar's avatar

Do what I did: be born with a heart defect.

Darth_Algar's avatar


You don’t get to decide where or in what role they place you. You enlist and they decide how to best utilize your particular talents.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

@Darth_Algar Not in Canada. You get to pick. Look at department of defence website if you want to. Any way thanks for the clarification.

ragingloli's avatar

“Put on a fucking uniform and do what they tell you.”
That is the mindset of a worthless slave.
I will make sure to print that out, put in in an envelope, and use my time machine to send it back to a random Wehrmacht draftee at the start of WW2.

MrGrimm888's avatar

When you are part of an army, you are just a pawn, a number.

There won’t be Iranian vessels landing on US shores. If it somehow happened, they’d get their asses handed to them. Our military, and civilian population, would be unbeatable.

When I sold guns, I saw the amazing amount of guns our citizens have. The country, is full of ex-military, and heavily armed people. I don’t necessarily like that, but NOBODY, could successfully take the US, on land. House to house? Pfft… Not possible.

I think Russia could nuke the US. But, what would be the point? There would be a chance we get them too, and the world would be uninhabitable, for hundreds of years…

Foreign US bases, are tough, but the far more vulnerable, than our mainland. Our own citizens, aren’t safe… What chance would any military force stand?..

The US, would blow any bombers out of the sky, while hundreds of miles away. No Navy, could get close either.

If Russia, China, Iran, and North Korea combined, it would be impossible. ANY land invasion, would be suicide. It just couldn’t happen, strategically…

flo's avatar

What does ’‘Get out of military service’’ mean? Does it mean keep from being drafted? Is drafting still going on in US?

flo's avatar

…or is this OP about another country?

Patty_Melt's avatar

OP claims Germany as home.

Algar, bs. I was in, you were not. People can choose a pursuit. If their particular choice has no current opening, they will be assigned elsewhere, but isn’t it the same in civilian world? Or do people slapping burgers in buns actually choose that?
You can go in without choosing, and those will be given a whatever job, which during war would likely be infantry.

NoMoreY_Aagain's avatar

Everybody in the Army is not a frontline fighter though. There are thousands of support troops many of whom never hear a shot fired off of the range. I knew a guy who enlisted for Viet Nam rather the wait to be drafted. He lucked out and got motor pool and all he did his whole tour was drive big brass around. He said the closest he got to the actual war was one isolated night when the VC lobbed a few mortar shells into their area then ran off when jet fighters zoomed over going some where else. And no one was even hurt. Luck of the draw I guess.

SergeantQueen's avatar

I’ve had plans to join for a bit. Realized it may not be best but if it came down to it I would do it. I wouldn’t want to be infantry but I really don’t mind doing what’s best for America. Which is why I wouldn’t see a point in lying to get out

MrGrimm888's avatar

Ha. Bring it, milltaryilly…. The uS, will destroy them, at sea… Then, they’ll have no chance against our ground forces… If they get here, at all…

NoMoreY_Aagain's avatar

@SergeantQueen. You never can be certain with the military though. As I said above, I knew I guy who enlisted in Army and went to ‘Nam and all he did was drive people around the whole time he was there. I have a cousin who was there in the Air Force and and was assigned to a Security Police (read grunt) unit guarding the perimeter of a forward area air base. They got hit hard one night and it devolved into hand to hand fighting. He was badly wounded that night and med evacuated out. And he figured he’d be safer in the Air Force. Uh huh. You just never know. The needs of the military come first.

Patty_Melt's avatar

One thing for certain though, with the military. If you join, you WILL have a job. That is often not the case in the civilian world. Also, the military is one place where having college credits actually makes a difference. As s civilian, it could improve your prospects, but no guarantees that even a degree will resul t in employment.

johnpowell's avatar

My aunt and uncle both retired from the Air Force. And they love to tell me how they think I should be living my life. So I was around 20 and just fucking around working at shitty jobs and partying. I was having a good time. Alcoholism and steady sexual encounters. Life was good.

Join the military, they said.. It will give you a good life.

But I had a plan. Once I was 24 I didn’t need my parents info when filling out a FAFSA. So 21–22 I saved up so I could barely work when I was 23. This way it was just my meager income I had to report when filling out the financial aid forms.

I made around 5K and didn’t have to report parental info so I got a full ride through the federal government.

The plan worked perfectly. But the entire time my aunt and uncle were screaming “Military”..

Then 9/11 happened and they never suggested joining the military ever again.

Suggesting people join the military with Trump as president should be classified as attempted murder.

Patty_Melt's avatar

The gate crash in Beirut happened near the end of my enlistment.
The Marines on my base all instantly put in for transfer…
to Beirut. They all were anxious to show Lebanese soldiers what Marines are like when they are awake.
I realize not everyone is suited for military life. The very reason I joined was to protect those who choose not to offer themselves to the preservation of our country’s citizens through military service. I think it is quite asinine though, to insinuate that those who do join are undeserving of respect, or somehow thrown at terrorists unwilling to face a brutal enemy.
Those who choose to cower at home can do so safely because of those who sign the papers and suffer the training.

If my cancer biopsy last year had come back positive, my treatments and/or surgery would not have cost me a cent.

Darth_Algar's avatar

@MrGrimm888 “When I sold guns, I saw the amazing amount of guns our citizens have. The country, is full of ex-military, and heavily armed people. I don’t necessarily like that, but NOBODY, could successfully take the US, on land. House to house? Pfft… Not possible.”

I wouldn’t necessarily count on that. It’s frightening just how careless and sloppy so many gun owners are with their guns. In such an event as an invasion I suspect a good number would end up shooting themselves in the dick while trying to draw their firearm.

Patty_Melt's avatar

^ The people you must know!

Darth_Algar's avatar


I actually don’t know that many gun owners on a personal level. However I did grow up in an area full of guns and just about every week there was at least one story of a “responsible gun owner” being cited for reckless discharge.

MrGrimm888's avatar

Darth has a great point. But, imagine a foreign military, trying to take out one person, who is well armed. They might have multiple casualties, at each of these residents. War, is often a numbers game.

We aren’t talking about a guy in the ME, with his grandfather’s AK, and 25 bullets. That’s bad enough. Many US people have multiple modern weapons, and thousands of rounds of ammunition. Sure, they’re going to die, if under attack by a large force. But, you can’t lose 2–3 soldiers, for so many dwellings, and be successful…

Let’s just say that there are 40 million Americans, with guns. If you are losing 1–3, per US citizen, you would need to land, at least 200 million troops here.
There aren’t many 1 million man armies, in the world… Then, a foreign military, would have to hold what they took.

Any land invasion, would be impossible. The US has the Atlantic, and Pacific Ocean, between any army remotely capable of mounting such an effort, and home field advantage…

The only strategy, would be a massive WMD attack. Which probably wouldn’t get through the US defense systems, and would make the land uninhabitable. So. Why even try it.

If I were trying to capture North America, I’d poison as many aquifers as possible, and shut down the power grid. Somehow.
American people would kill each other.

Even then, when I decided to finally invade, I’d be facing the hardest people who are still alive. Again. No easy task…

The biggest threat, would be Russia. They could potentially nuke the US, with hundreds/thousands of nuclear weapons. But. That would damage the entire planet. If they have harsh winters now, imagine a few dozen years of nuclear winter…

There really isn’t a current way, to take the US…

Darth_Algar's avatar

I think you’re really overestimating the average person’s skill with a gun and ability to keep calm in such a situation.

Patty_Melt's avatar

All the gun owners I know, and I do mean all, are quite proficient. I a near blind, yet I can barrel sight anything with very good accuracy. I’m also better than Indiana with a bullwhip.
I have to admit, my brother was always a better shot with rubber bands.

MrGrimm888's avatar

I bet Patty would take 2–5 foreign invaders out, before she was killed. Maybe more.

ragingloli's avatar

Because ability on a shooting range is equivalent to actual combat.

Darth_Algar's avatar

You gotta remember Loli, every American becomes John fucking Rambo when you put a gun in their hands.

MrGrimm888's avatar

Darth. Say what you want about me. But don’t talk shit about Rambo!~

And you’re completely missing the point. People defend their homeland. Think of the role that French citizens played in WWII…

Civilians formed a resistance. They sheltered Jews, gathered intelligence, and helped the allies take France back, from Germany. They didn’t have military grade equipment. There are plenty of Americans, with military grade weapons…
An AR-15, M4, mini 14, etc, all chamber 5.56 mm/.223 caliber ammo. That’s a NATO round. A very capable round.
You have lots of gangsters, with an SKS, that’s a Chinese version of the AK-47. It fires the same round, a 7.62×39. That’s a .30 caliber weapon…
You don’t have to be Rambo, to inflict damage with such weapons.

The Kurds, were not a military group. They were civilians. And they fought ISIS, like a military. They kicked their asses. ISIS, was typically a highly trained and experienced military.

The American Revolution, and the Civil War soldiers, were mostly farmers, and immigrants.

In Africa, most damage is done by child soldiers…

You’re smart. But you are making the classic mistake of underestimating people.

Loli, is right. Russia really was the determining factor in WWII. Again, that was mostly civilians, with a gun… In the battle for Stallengrad, half the people didn’t even have a weapon. They had to pick up the rifles, of the dead. They often had no military training.

In fact. Most wars, have been fought with an untrained civilian militia.

History, has proven that you have to account for the civilian population, in an invasion.

Patty_Melt's avatar

I rarely have used target ranges.

While I have never used a gun on a person, I have many times been forced to defend myself.
I can kill with my bare hands quite well. Like Clint Eastwood movies, I never make a first move. I can take a blow from most anyone, and that tells me what I’m up against. When I strike, it is no fooling around.

Actually, I am more like Mel Gibson, in the Lethal Weapon collection. I make use of my surroundings, I don’t spend any time thinking about or fearing death. I follow no rules.
In my lifetime two men have been able to pin me successfully. Fortunately they were both friendly horsing around.
I don’t fear death, so that makes me capable of uncommonly deadly resources.
Yes, I can face someone in a life and death situation and go into action with no hesitation or ethics qualms, or ick-facter reaction.
I would up that 2–5, depending on how close together they are, how many, and how armed.
I would go 3–12. I could do three minimum just on surprise alone.
If there were several grouped together, I would simply be in the basement, forcing them to enter, and blow up the house. Sure I would perish, but I would anyway with a large group, and the pain would be an instant.
Suicide explosion, turnabout is gratifying.

MrGrimm888's avatar

I was just thinking about averages Patty. Circumstances, would definitely dictate a lot…

If we could have 1 out of 5, kill/immobilize an invader, we’d be in good shape. We’d have massive casualties in some cases. But we’d also be putting it to the invasion force.
Like I said, assuming that they could even get here. Our Navy, and Airforce, would make it quite a task, to even land an army…If they somehow got here, our military would be waiting.

And of course, after we drove the invasion force out, or maybe during the invasion, our forces would hit their country.

It’s just not doable.

ragingloli's avatar

You are probably trained in Gorilla Warfare, too, eh?

Darth_Algar's avatar


I know my countrymen. They are not as hard as they like to think they are.

It’s all a rather moot point anyway. An invasion isn’t going to happen. Wars aren’t fought in such ways anymore, and the US is the only country pig-headed enough to still think that way.

Darth_Algar's avatar


No offense, but from your postings on this site I get the impression that you’re disabled and can barely get out of bed or walk. How much damage are you really expecting to do in such a state?

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SergeantQueen's avatar

Oh jeez, has this thread devolved to bullshit. The military and SOME American citizens are more than capable of defending our country. Stop acting like everyone is weak and inexperienced. Those who are, wouldn’t be the ones fighting. What’s the point of trying to insult someone confident in their abilities? Regular citizens are capable of defending themselves believe it or not. Our country is full of people willing to fight and die for it.

Patty_Melt's avatar

I do have disabilities.
To hurt someone without a gun, they would have to be within reach, but my strength is not gone.
My daughter has ade the mistake of thinking my disabilities spell pathetic, and tried harming me a few times. She kicked a crutch out from under me once, but I think faster than her. On my way down I grabbed her, and she came down with me. I gave her a whooping which kept her quiet for a while.
My disabilities don’t hurt my ability to use firearms at all. Actually, firing a weapon is much easier than all this typing.
My disabilities are not consistent, as with a paraplegic, or hearing impaired. It is a little like lupus, in that it is for the rest of my life, it has very bad days involved, and some days when people look at me and don’t know.
I aam less handicapped than you when it comes to self defense, because as I said, I don’t hesitate for pondering anything. I move right into action. I don’t even know when I’m bleeding until things have been handled.
I have skills you have not seen, even in movies.

Loli, you have no power over me.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Darth, speaking of pig headed…

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Patty_Melt's avatar

Do you feel I adequately answered your simple question?
Because you reference things I have mentioned on other threads, but you seem to ignore other things I have stated about self defense in the past.

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